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Six Chix, 12/1/24

Often after reading the daily Six Chix comic strip, I use this weblog to express opinions along the lines “I have no idea what the fuck is going on here and I hate it, this enrages me,” so in the interest of fairness I must also let you know when my reaction is “I have no idea what the fuck is going on here and I love it, this delights me to no end.” Today is one of those days! My favorite thing about the Santa Clams is that there are five of them.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 12/1/24

Not going to comment on the pathetically easy “mystery” here, but just want to point that Slylock was able to wrap up this entire adventure and capture the raccoon thief while Max was busy running around the hotel like an idiot. It would be hard to come up with a more damning demonstration of how superfluous Max is to this whole operation if you tried!

Mary Worth, 12/1/24

Mary is feeling better but still remaining home in strict isolation, on the safe assumption that any virus that could break through her hard exterior is so powerful that it would kill lesser humans instantly. I guess we’re supposed to think she has Zoom configured on her laptop so that you only see whoever’s talking and they take up the full screen when they do, which would be pretty disorienting honestly, but I’d like to imagine that she has three laptops set up and she’s having three one-on-one Zoom calls simultaneously, which would be much, much more disorienting.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/1/24

LOOK, REX MORGAN, M.D., IS TIRED OF YOUR COMPLAINTS ABOUT HOW MOST OF ITS STORIES ARE BORING NON-MEDICAL DRAMA AND EVEN THE MEDICAL ONES ARE ALSO BORING. HOW ABOUT SEEING AN OLD MAN STABBED IN THE GUT, HUH? IS THAT EXCITING ENOUGH FOR YOU? YOU WANNA SEE HIM BLEED OUT ON THE SIDEWALK? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED, MEDICALLY?

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Hagar the Horrible, 11/28/24

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Personally, I’m thankful to learn that, in the Hagarverse, the imported Near Eastern triune God coexists with even more ancient pagan deities. I just think it’s neat!

Hi and Lois, 11/28/24

I’m also thankful that nobody at my Thanksgiving dinner is going to blurt out “Hey, you know what would be cool? If you could go back in time and murder and eat a pilgrim. Just slice up their flesh and make sandwiches out of it!” People talk about dreading political arguments with their families but frankly I think this one would be an even bigger downer.

Mary Worth, 11/28/24

I’m not thankful that Mary’s friends remembered to Doordash her some Thanksgiving dinner before they all went out to live their best lives without her. We were so close to finishing her off for good! So close!

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Mary Worth, 11/27/24

Oh, man, this is incredible, we’re now on day three of Mary’s dinner guests making it very clear that they don’t mind at all that dinner’s been cancelled, and then going off and doing the thing that they’re now free to do because dinner’s been cancelled while very much not worrying about whether Mary’s dying or whatever. In Dr. Jeff’s case, the thing that he’s now free to do is to take a brisk walk alone into the woods and never come back.

Shoe, 11/27/24

Normally it would be the guy delivering the gag who would get the heavy lidded expression of despair in the second panel, indicating his shame at delivering terrible Shoe-level wordplay. But that’s not the case here, which leads me to believe this guy isn’t making a joke or anything. He’s dead serious about it: the toilet seat thing is a sick sex thing, one that drives his wife wild with desire, and it’s no doubt just the beginning of some very elaborate process that you do not want to know about. Shoe’s right to look so angry about having to hear this.

Pluggers, 11/27/24

Hey, pluggers, you guys know that they give the mall Santas a wig and a fake beard, right? It’s pretty obvious when you look at them. Even the little kids can tell, for the most part.