Post Content

Gil Thorp, 7/5/23

Ahh, there’s nothing like waking up on a fine summer morning, picking up the morning dead tree paper, and seeing the banner headline that your hated rival was not only fired but escorted off the field by a police officer. Gil is too “old school” to have already learned this via Marty Moon’s podcast or TikTok or whatever like everyone else did, so this is a pretty great way for him to start the day. It’s nice that the paper reminded Gil that he also won a championship himself, in case he forgot.

Mary Worth, 7/5/23

Welp, Greta’s been reunited with Saul and a large steak, so I guess all’s well that ends well! We know that Greta had been held captive by evil Lyle Lovett, but Mary and Saul definitely don’t, and I think it’s very funny that they just assumed, based on some dramatic local news reporting, that a nervous dachshund in a bow tie managed to successfully escape an evil underground dogfighting ring, when the much more probable explanation is that she just wandered off when Saul wasn’t looking and temporarily got lost.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/5/23

TIRED: The weird adult-teens of Glenwood finally graduating from high school
WIRED: The idiot citizens of Glenwood blowing off several fingers, much to Rex’s disgust

Hi and Lois, 7/5/23

Not sure how I feel about Trixie transitioning from “Trixie, the baby who talks to the sun” to “Trixie, the baby who can’t wait to show off her hot beach bod … just like her mom.”

Post Content

Mary Worth, 7/4/23

Greetings, fellow Americans! Hopefully you are spending today watching fireworks and patriotically contemplating’s our nation’s successful defeat of the accursed British in our War of Independence, like Mary is in today’s strip. But sadly, many comics characters are not — a group that apparently includes all of Mary’s friends, since she’s just sitting on this hillside by self. Sure, Old Man Wynter and his posse are probably making sure Greta’s trauma (oh, they found Greta by the way, she managed to get the cage open herself and escape) isn’t compounded by the fireworks noises, but what about Ian and Toby? Dr. Jeff? Wilbur? Do they have something better to do than bask in the majesty of American greatness? Apparently so, and as we’ll see in the following strips, they are not alone.

Blondie, 7/4/23

Remember back in May when Dagwood wanted everyone to know that nobody could best him when it came to respecting the troops, but it turned out it was just a ruse to prevent his nap from being interrupted? Well, now he can’t even be bothered to use patriotism as a pretext.

Beetle Bailey, 7/4/23

Honestly, though, who could blame him when the troops themselves don’t seem to care about America’s birthday? Today’s Beetle Bailey includes the most half-assed wedged-in patriotic message since the infamous Luann 9/11 anniversary strip. I guess we can’t expect these soldiers to put energy into frivolous partying, even the most patriotic kind, when there’s important military preparedness work to be done. I hear the People’s Liberation Army’s lawns are immaculate.

Family Circus, 7/4/23

Jeffy’s OK with fireworks, but doesn’t want to share space with others enjoying them in ways he doesn’t approve of. He loves America but is annoyed by his fellow Americans and that’s no kind of patriotism at all!

The Lockhorns, 7/4/23

Leroy is using the 4th as yet another opportunity to be unpleasantly horny, and honestly? I’ll allow it.

Post Content

The Lockhorns, 7/1/23

Ahh, another entry in the “Lockhorns are millennials” files: Yes, Leroy got up to 301 at UCB, yes he absolutely was that guy who derailed every scene to focus on his extremely unfunny obsessions, yes, he always tried to push things towards scenarios that would allow him to feel up his female classmates, and yes everyone he took the class with set up a new group chat without him as soon as the class ended. He preemptively told Loretta “not to bother” coming to the class show at the end of the session because “most people don’t have guests” — he told himself it was because maybe something might happen with one of the girls in the class at the afterparty, but in fact he knew that if Loretta had seen him alive and vulnerable on stage, she would have delivered one of the most savage putdowns she’d ever mustered on the ride home.

Mary Worth, 7/1/23

Ha ha, what if it were a pizza, though. It would be pretty funny if there were just a big pizza lying on the ground and Max ran up and started snarfing up all that cheese and getting tomato sauce all over his snout. Turns out Max doesn’t give a shit about Greta! It was about the pizza all along!