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Mary Worth, 10/1/09

So, everyone who bet on Scott surviving in the pool: you seem to have come out on top … for now. But will he pull through the surgery? And who exactly is this “Dr. Good” character? Does his name define his character, as the names of beloved Highlights icons Goofus and Gallant do? Or is it one of those ironic names, like when you call a big guy named “Tiny”? “Oh, look, here comes Dr. ‘Good.’ Hey, is that a lower intestine stuck to the bottom of his shoe?” If that’s the case, maybe Scott did die in that shootout after all. “Yeah, just give the corpse to Dr. Good and let him muck around in there for practice; it’s not like he can make things worse, right? And send the live one to Dr. Actually Good.”

Pool bets are now open on how long Adrian will stand there clutching at her chin in gape-mouthed horror. Hours? Days? Weeks? Will someone at least gently push her chin up so that her mouth is closed for the funeral?

Pluggers, 10/1/09

OH MY GOD FIXIE-RIDING HIPSTERS ARE ACTUALLY PLUGGERS EVERYTHING I KNOW IS WRONG

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Hi everybody! I am back and EXTREMELY grateful to all of you who gave so generously in the fall fundraiser! Many of you have already received your What Would Margo Do bracelets (I promise a bevy of pics tomorrow), and hopefully the rest will arrive soon; you’ll all be getting email thanks from me as well. And huge thanks go to Uncle Lumpy both for his money-soliciting and comics-mocking prowess, though really he got a reward of his own … with the greatest week in Mary Worth history! Oh, how I envy the man who got first crack at this panel:

Instead, I’m just left with the aftermath:

Mary Worth, 9/27/09

Scott has been shot in violent shoot-out … the best kind, as any aficionado of shoot-outs will tell you. Is he in serious condition, or is he the one who didn’t make it? More importantly, are the seriously wounded cop and the corpse of the other cop just sort of flopping around in the back of this paddy wagon, which appears neither to be an ambulance nor to be staffed by actual paramedics? Will Adrian be able to tell the living from the dead, amid the carnage? STAY TUNED!

Apartment 3-G, 9/27/09

Apartment 3-G, meanwhile, is taking a much sexier path, assuming that you find it sexy when pill fiends offer up their sweet middle-aged bodies to head-shrinking quacks in exchange for pills, which Dr. Papagoras obviously does. Ruby finds the whole thing just plain tawdry, even if it is happening at the Ritz-Carlton, which just goes to show that she’ll never be a real New Yorker.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/27/09

And Rex Morgan managed to combine impending doom and sexytimes with a sly aside out of this bespectacled lothario! “I’m a lover, Becka, not a violent person! Specifically, I’m an extremely skilled lover. Say, you know, I just thought of a clever way we can track down my mother. When I was a teenager, she always had this uncanny knack for coming home right when my girlfriend and I were starting to fool around. What if…” Remember, Becka, it’s not cheating if your husband’s infidelity, or your suspicions thereof, are tearing you up inside!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/27/09

Ha ha, it’s funny because Snuffy is an unletter’d heathen! Wait, those actually are his most appealing qualities.

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Hey, it’s the Comics Curmudgeon Fall Fundraiser — your contributions help keep this site strong and independent!

Click the banner above to contribute any amount — and receive your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet with our thanks! Full details here.

Fall Fundraiser update: What would Margo do? Faithful reader Plastic Fruit says, “I think she’d buy herself a little something!” So that’s just what she did! Do you like huge boxes from Tiffany’s? Unlock the power of Margo in your life with a generous contribution to the Comics Curmudgeon!

Mary Worth, 9/25/09

Oh, no! Scott is shot! And it looks like at least two of those rounds came from behind, from sympathetic fellow officers who saw Adrian’s picture and knew what had to be done.

Spider-Man, 9/25/09

Apparently when it comes to splatterin’ spiders, Bigshot is a less effective villain than Garfield. Pack it in, fella.

Mark Trail, 9/25/09

Oh, don’t worry about Rusty, Mark. He doesn’t need to outrun the gator — he just needs to outrun Sassy.

Dick Tracy, 9/25/09

OK, you three. Will somebody for the luvva Pete please just shut up and eat somebody? Please?

Margo Moments — a Fall Fundraiser special, part 6

Apartment 3-G (panels) — 2/4, 2/5, 2/10, 2/27, 3/16, 4/15, 5/29, 6/23, 7/23/2008

Facts are facts, faithful reader: you have to get that — it could be Margo! Contribute to The Comics Curmudgeon, slip your exclusive glow-in-the-dark Margo bracelet on your wrist, say goodbye to humility and altruism, and live in the world of “Me, me, me!” forever! It’s what Margo would do — why accept anything less?

— Uncle Lumpy