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Mary Worth, 7/8/23

Huh, I guess the way that Mary is going to help out the police is to take to the streets herself as a cold-hearted vigilante who doesn’t abide by “the rules” that say it’s illegal to feed Lyle Lovett to his own fighting dogs while he begs for mercy. I’m not sure we ever expected to see Mary go stone cold killer in this strip — she usually passive-aggressively gets others to do her dirty work for her — but nobody ever messed around with people’s dogs before in her presence. (Mary would kill for dogs, but would never be so gauche as to actually have one in her home, due to all her delicate knickknacks and furniture coverings and such.)

Dennis the Menace, 7/8/23

I’m loving how Dennis took something insanely wholesome — enjoying some quality time with his dad at an old-fashioned soda fountain — and made it at least moderately menacing. What about nutrition, dad? Did you ever think of that? Eh? Early onset type 2 diabetes? Eh? Eh?

Crock, 7/8/23

What do you suppose that Crock (the character) and/or Crock (the creative team behind the syndicated newspaper comics strip) think a migraine is? Discuss.

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Slylock Fox, 7/6/23

I have come to accept that, in the post-Animalpocalypse world of Slylock Fox, one of the Transformations is that the relative sizes of the various vertebrate creatures seems to have changed in inconsistent and inscrutable ways — so that, for instance, Slylock Fox and Cassandra Cat are more or less as tall as the few remaining humans, while Max Mouse remains a tiny rodent, albiet one wearing shorts and an adorable little hat custom-made for his tiny noggin. But what still unnerves me are the giant insects. I didn’t care for Count Weirdly’s mega-bee and I don’t care for whatever dog-sized bug is marring this otherwise idyllic scene. Not into it! Not into it at all!

Six Chix, 7/6/23

A fun fact is that verb forms like “hath” used to just be how normal people talked but once they fell into disuse and were only encountered by most people in Chaucer or Shakespeare or the King James Bible, they got coded in our collective minds as “literary.” What I’m trying to say is that there ought to be a better way to mark out this chicken as a lover of literature. Maybe you could just show him reading a book?

Mary Worth, 7/6/23

“I’m going to go down to the station and update them on all the wild, evidence-free speculation we’ve been doing over the past few days and demand they take action based on it. Cops love that shit, is my understanding!”

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Gil Thorp, 7/5/23

Ahh, there’s nothing like waking up on a fine summer morning, picking up the morning dead tree paper, and seeing the banner headline that your hated rival was not only fired but escorted off the field by a police officer. Gil is too “old school” to have already learned this via Marty Moon’s podcast or TikTok or whatever like everyone else did, so this is a pretty great way for him to start the day. It’s nice that the paper reminded Gil that he also won a championship himself, in case he forgot.

Mary Worth, 7/5/23

Welp, Greta’s been reunited with Saul and a large steak, so I guess all’s well that ends well! We know that Greta had been held captive by evil Lyle Lovett, but Mary and Saul definitely don’t, and I think it’s very funny that they just assumed, based on some dramatic local news reporting, that a nervous dachshund in a bow tie managed to successfully escape an evil underground dogfighting ring, when the much more probable explanation is that she just wandered off when Saul wasn’t looking and temporarily got lost.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/5/23

TIRED: The weird adult-teens of Glenwood finally graduating from high school
WIRED: The idiot citizens of Glenwood blowing off several fingers, much to Rex’s disgust

Hi and Lois, 7/5/23

Not sure how I feel about Trixie transitioning from “Trixie, the baby who talks to the sun” to “Trixie, the baby who can’t wait to show off her hot beach bod … just like her mom.”