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Archive: Mother Goose and Grimm

39

Slenderwilbur will haunt your nightmares

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Mary Worth, 6/8/25

Many of our most beloved deranged Mary Worth storylines end abruptly, with antagonists just straight up driving off a cliff or whatever, but I’m sorry, there is a lot to take in just in this single strip. The bell by which the Westons were saved was rung by … Belle’s brother? Who has tracked her down somehow because he suspects she’s off her meds, probably because she failed to check in with him? And also (and sorry, but this is much more important), he’s literally just a taller version of Wilbur? Like she spotted Wilbur across a TGIFridays in Tampa and thought, “Oh my goodness, he looks just like my beloved brother … but more squooshed! I’m gonna FUCK HIS BRAINS OUT AND MURDER ANYONE OR ANYTHING WHO COMPETES WITH HIM FOR MY ATTENTION!” Because that’s wild, possibly the wildest proposition this strip has ever asked me to buy in the 20+ years I’ve been reading it. And it’s clearly not the first time something like this has happened! “I’m sorry about this, shorter me!” Avery says. “I hope I came in time … there are no visible corpses, so I’m assuming I did, but sincere apologies if not!”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/8/25

The joke here is whatever, but I want to point out that it’s weird that Grimm is in the corner there watching this breakup go down. It’s a long-established aspect of this strip that it alternates between jokes involving the well-established cast of characters and sub-Far Side one-off gags. Feels like some new executive in charge of the syndicate sent down a note like “In order to reinforce Mother Goose and Grimm’s brand identity and lay the groundwork for future merchandising initiatives, every strip needs to feature one of the two beloved title characters, who casual readers definitely know by name and can identify.”

Panel from The Lockhorns, 6/8/25

Funniest thing here is that this is, I assume, their own house. Not sure if Leroy is very drunk or very sleepy — or, more cruel and therefore more likely, if he’s doing a bit and Loretta refuses to even give him the satisfaction of acknowledging that he’s doing a bit.

120

What’s the matter, Hi? Are you afraid of the possibilities

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Hi and Lois, 6/7/25

Years ago, I was doing some PT for a few weeks, and at one of my sessions there was an older guy there who was rehabbing a knee injury, and his therapist was (gently) berating him because he kept going back and playing in his softball league despite the fact that she hadn’t cleared him for it. He was agreeing with her in a kind of hangdog way — he knew it was bad for his knee, but it seemed clear to me that his softball team was a big part of his social circle and missing games meant missing an important part of his life. I felt bad for him at the time, though I might need to revise that now that I know that a big part of senior sports is getting together and pissing in groups.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/7/25

Oh, man, remember the shitty motel where Truck had to isolate for days due to a viral respiratory infection in the spring of 2020 that somehow turned out to not be COVID? And then he wrote a song about it that went (the good kind of) viral? Well, it turns out his bastard maybe-son is staying there now, and there’s no way he doesn’t know that whole backstory, so now I’m assuming he’s documenting this entire journey-to-find-his-father for TikTok clout.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/7/25

You ever think about the fact that, before he became a real boy, Pinocchio’s flesh was all wood? You ever think about how creatures that eat or peck or chew on wood would do a real number on Pinocchio, if he encountered them? You ever think about how Pinocchio wasn’t technically in the Wizard of Oz, but we could put him there, through the magic of cartooning?

126

SHOCKING MARTY MOON MUSTACHE REVEAL!!!!

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Gil Thorp, 6/6/25

Deep in the 2020 pandemic lockdowns, I decided that the dream of the ’90s had finally well and truly died, and I shaved off my goatee and then grew in a full beard that I’ve maintained ever since (apologies to all if it unnerves you to learn that my caricature in this blog’s logo is not fully accurate, facial hair-wise). Marty clung onto the Evil Spock look for another five years, but now, as part of his strategy to get his life together, he’s gone with the mustachio’d look that an increasing number of the kids today seem to like. And it’s clearly a good move: he’s already going to sub for his replacement on some terrible morning radio talk show, mere minutes after getting home from the barber who ceremonially sheared him! I like the fact that his dog is licking his mustache clean, presumably to get the last of the facial hair food residue that he’s used to feasting on.

Mary Worth, 6/6/25

Wilbur and Dawn’s poisoned dinner continues to go great, and by “great” I mean “insanely,” with both Westons continuing to talk like everything is basically normal despite being clearly convinced that Belle is going to disembowel them with a spoon. I love that all intra-Weston solidarity is out the window at this point, with each hoping to be the one person that whoever’s at the door is going to save, leaving the other to their fate at Belle’s hands.

Mother Goose and Grimm and Zits, 6/6/25

Polyamory! You’re hearing about it more and more, and lots of people are saying, “Why not? Let’s give it a try!” Well, the syndicated newspaper comics aren’t having it, do you hear them? They’re not having it.