Archive: Pajama Diaries

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Pajama Diaries, 8/9/19

Despite its occasional unpleasant excursions into kink, the obsessive-neurotic Pajama Diaries has slowly wormed its way into the hole in my heart left behind by the obsessive-neurotics at Edge City (not that they didn’t have their own problems with off-putting sex stuff). Today’s strip does a better job at being even-handed than fellow battle-of-the-generations feature Dustin. Ha ha, it’s funny because young people are obsessed with carefully curating the impressions they make on others via social media, while their parents are obsessed with the violence always lurking at the edges of civilized society. What if they come and kidnap you tonight? What if they murder your whole family so that the only clue the police have to go on is the last photo you uploaded to Facebook? What if they need to be able to see every wrinkle, every imperfection, in order to identify your body when they eventually find it bloated and rotting in a ditch somewhere out in the countryside?

Mary Worth, 8/9/19

Mary has long been into taking cognitive-behavioral reality-shaping to extreme lengths, like the time she told a lady devastated because her fiance had stood her up at the altar that “the past only exists by how you remember it,” so all she had to do was remember things differently and she wouldn’t be sad anymore. Now Mary’s applying this theory to the present as well. All Dawn has to do is concentrate on being happy every moment of every day, and then she’ll always be happy! Hugo here? Happy. Hugo not here? Happy. Pretend Hugo never existed the moment he leaves? If letting go of object permanence is the key to happiness, then it’s a small price to pay!

Judge Parker, 8/9/19

Oh, turns out it’s Norton. Norton, everybody! Norton’s back, and he’s, uh, very sunburned, it seems.

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Pajama Diaries, 7/16/19

I freely admit that it’s entirely irrational, but I’ve developed an extreme aversion to the strips where Pajama Diaries gets horny. Like, it’s not Luann-level distasteful, of course, but it still squicks me out, possibly because nobody actually talks like this. “Hey mom, be sure to make me a special second dinner for tonight, because after my dinner date I’m gonna go fuck somewhere, then come home later and eat that second dinner, because if there’s one thing having sex does it makes you hungry, right? Post-sex hunger is a thing? Because of all the sex exercise? This is exactly how I talk to my friends in my dorm, and I’ve definitely had sex before.”

Funky Winkerbean, 7/16/19

I dunno, man, in this flashback Young Cliff Anger looks less like a guy whose best friend just went to jail for a murder he didn’t commit and more like a guy who’s pretty jazzed to be the new owner of a chimpanzee named Zanzibar. Ha ha, the chimp is smoking a cigar and wearing a shirt! He thinks he’s people! Anyway, if Zanzibar turns out to be the real killer in this storyline, I’m willing to forgive a lot about the past few weeks in this strip.

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Pajama Diaries, 4/26/19

I’ve got a solid five months of reading the Pajama Diaries under my belt, and I feel comfortable in saying that I pretty much know what its lane is, and that lane is “anxiety-ridden parents of teens try to enjoy life but can’t, really, because of anxiety.” Their lane is not “middle aged suburban lowkey kinksters.” That lane is occupied by Arlo and Janis. Sorry, Pajama Diaries, I’m going to have to request that you stay in your lane.

(Also, the strip’s Wikipedia page claims that it takes place in Ohio, so I’m going to assume that “safety word” is a regional variation for “safe word,” like how my cousins in Columbus thought “sneakers” was the dumbest word they ever heard but said “tennies” like it was totally normal.)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/26/19

I like Sarah’s pensive look in the first panel here. She seems to be thinking, “Wait, I know I have amnesia, but I have this feeling that I’m the one who’s supposed to be getting free stuff from some person of inexplicable means. This doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right at all.

Hagar the Horrible, 4/26/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Lucky Eddie’s uncle was injured, leaving hin unable to continue the violent means by which he gained sustenance in his medieval environment. Probably he’s going to die in poverty, and soon!

Beetle Bailey, 4/26/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Beetle got mauled by a bunch of raccoons! There’s a good chance he has rabies now?