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Apartment 3-G, 9/11/06

Now, we all know that nothing good, and probably several things bad, will come of this, but, after all the time we’ve spent mocking Tommie for being boring and sexless and having no life and never ever getting any fun or attention from the Apartment 3-G creative team, let’s take a moment to stop making fun of her and savor the fact she’s at last having a good time.

OK, moment’s over. Say, where have we seen a picture like panel three recently?

Aagggh! Watch out for the tongue, Tommie, watch out for the tongue!

The Phantom, 9/11/06

Say what you will about the recently concluded Phantom tale of Chatu the shirtless terrorist, but at least it was reasonably easy to follow and involved the Phantom fighting bad guys. Last week’s Phantom strips featured an incomprehensible set up involving sinister businessmen and government corruption that would have been easier to follow had there been any indication as to what their business was or which government they were corrupting. Today, the Phantom proves his softness on white-collar crime by ignoring this backstory and deciding to work with Devil as some sort of human-canine tugboat replacement team. Apparently, when he’s bored, Mr. Walker becomes the Ghost-Who-Assists-With-Nautical-Safety-And-Maritime-Commerce. At least he’s not taking his cue from Spider-Man, because if he were, he’d be the Ghost-Who-Whines-At-The-TV.

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Shoe, 8/31/06

The punchline of this joke is at once bland, hackneyed, vaguely sexist, told better elsewhere, and immediately forgettable — classic Shoe, in other words. Of more interest to the comics student is Roz’s wide-eyed, head-bobbling reaction. She looks like the Perfersser just told her that the Health Department is planning to shut her diner down because of a psittacosis outbreak, not because she’s just been fed some dumb “male birds are from Mars, female birds are from Venus” shtick. (By the way, Perfesser, girl birds have feathers, not hair.) Is she not used to this sort of lameness? How long has she been in this damn strip?

The Phantom, 8/31/06

I have to admit to being a little dissapointed with the conclusion of this Phantom storyline, with the Ghost-Who-Yuks-It-Up-With-Midgets seeming pretty blasé about allowing Chatu the Shirtless Terrorist to escape and shirtlessly terrorize another day. Now we know that, for the Phantom, the big thrill is not bringing bare-torsoed ne’er-do-wells to justice, but instead setting things up so that you can really screw with their heads a few years down the line.

Luann, 8/31/06

Hey, everybody! The Toni and Brad Show’s back! Just like we’ve all been waiting for all this time! Right? Right?

Right?

[awkward silence]

In an effort to say something nice, I’ll say this: I like the way Reddy’s eyes are cast sarcastically to the right in the first panel. I’m imagining an elaborate series of electrodes attached to Brad’s ape-like mug so that the li’l safety robot can display a full panoply of lifelike facial expressions.

Mary Worth, 8/31/06

And heeeeere comes the bludgeoning.

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Pluggers, 7/7/06

OK, now I’m starting to get freaked out. Twice is a coincidence, but three times is pretty damn peculiar.

For Better Or For Worse, 7/7/06

Gosh, Elizabeth, that sounds like quite a lot of things to do! But it’s understandable that you’d be so busy when you’re switching jobs and moving all at once. That can be pretty stressful. At least you have a stable relationship you can rely on for emotional support. Say, what was that first thing you said you had to do again?

Wait, I didn’t quite catch that … where are you getting your car?

Good ol’ Gordo! I wonder whose happy, smiling, perky face you’ll see at the cappuccino bar while Gordon’s looking up the prices for the undercoating?

Been nice knowing you, Paul.

Mary Worth, 7/7/06

Speaking of sad sacks with mustaches, I give you … Aldo Kelrast! Whose last name is, as many Jumble aficionados in the comments pointed out, an anagram for stalker. And whose chest hair is on proud display. This would be acceptable if he was sporting some colorful ethnic garment from the Mediterranean, but a off-red polo shirt? Squaresville.

The Phantom, 7/6-7/06

OK, I had to back up a day to show you the awesome set-up for the Big Purple Dude’s two-panel-long slapathon. He has to psych himself up, thought-balloon-style, in order to not punch someone. These two strips also showcase two of the Ghost Who Slaps’ special powers: his super-scary voice and his awesome stripey ass.

Dennis the Menace, 7/7/06

Then it’d be a Plugger library! Haw haw! OK, that was just mean.