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Gil Thorp, 12/14/11

Oh, hey, it looks like this year’s current basketball plot will bring back some mildly beloved characters from last winter, including the witty, fashion-forward, Glee-and-Project-Runway-loving, do-we-have-to-spell-it-out-for-you, well-too-bad-we’re-not-going-to-for-some-reason Lini Verde. Lini gives Lopat’s new tattoo the savagely hilarious put-down it probably deserves (not that any of us reading at home would know, since the strip stubbornly refuses to actually show it to us), but I’m more interested in the fact that Lini is pushing his freakishly long finger straight into his face, presumably to distract himself from the fact that he needs to spend another year minimum surrounded by these witless cretins.

Pluggers, 12/14/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because pluggers’ friends are all dying, and they’re too tired or scared to make new ones! You know, if I were this he-plugger I’d be concerned by where exactly his wife is going with this conversation, because it sounds to me that she’s about to float her idea for a murder-suicide pact.

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Dennis the Menace, 12/6/11

Dennis is bad at eating, inevitably ending up covered with half-masticated food, misaimed condiments, and slobber.

Mary Worth, 12/6/11

Mary has now completely forgotten about the missing Emily Smith, and has ironically become fixated on the idea that she might be losing her memory instead.

Six Chix, 12/6/11

Due to her family’s poverty, this little girl isn’t going to college, and indeed will probably die of malnutrition long before she has a chance to graduate from high school.

Pluggers, 12/6/11

Pluggers like to swing with other couples from their church.

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Gil Thorp, 12/2/11

Hey, everybody, Gil cured Asperger’s! He cured it with football. Let ’em try to fire him now!

Pluggers, 12/2/11

Pluggers are completely disgusting, seriously, you need two layers underneath them at all times, to protect against various kinds of filth.