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Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Mostly non-scary Halloween comics

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/31/20

Real Rex-heads know that one of the Morgans’ children is actually the biological son of June’s childhood best friend, who she hadn’t seen in years and who came back into her life just long enough to hand over her son to the Morgans’ care before dropping dead, and there was a brief moment where it looked like the kid’s paternal grandparents might want to fight them for custody, but it turned out they just wanted to baby-sit for free. Well, guess what: Rex and June need some free baby-sitting, so it looks like they won’t be letting the calls from these sad, lonely old people go straight to voice mail anymore!

Mary Worth, 10/31/20

Nothing really new to report in today’s Mary Worth, but “Tommy and Brandy argue at work through clenched teeth about who’s addicted to what and who isn’t like who’s dad” is exactly the sort of petty pleasure I — and, I assume, all of you — come to Mary Worth for.

Dick Tracy, 10/31/20

Oh, sorry, Little Orphan Annie isn’t a vampire! She’s just a former poor girl who got rich by sheer luck, and now she smiles warmly at people who help the currently poor from the back her limousine, without getting out to help or even saying hi herself. Which is, you know, a lot less interesting, frankly.

Dennis the Menace, 10/31/20

Did, uh, did Dennis steal a car? That’s pretty menacing, actually.

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For extra drama, I assume she’s talking about Bil’s mom here

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Family Circus, 10/27/20

I am extremely tickled that Dolly is standing on a stool in order to deliver this joke. I assume it’s a practical cartooning matter — if she were on the floor, she’d be cropped out by the circular border of the panel — but I’d like to imagine that she laboriously dragged the stool in in from the other room and climbed up on it so she could really get in her mother’s face with her latest nonsense, with Ma Keane refusing to make eye contact with her or acknowledge her in any way all the while.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/27/20

So it turns out the bad thing Sarah did was … that she gave her self a haircut, and not even in a comical or interesting way, and June was able to fix it without too much trouble, and even if she couldn’t, Sarah is like eight years old and does everything by Zoom right now, so who cares if her hair looks a little funny, you know? But that isn’t going to stop us from debriefing about it for days, and it won’t stop Rex — who, remember, is working in a COVID ward and the current strips are taking place in the initial wave of the pandemic so presumably he’s watching multiple people die daily despite his best medical efforts — from treating this as the biggest disappointment he’s encountered in his life to date. Rex says that he would’ve never thought to cut his own hair as a child, and it definitely tracks that he was boring as shit from the minute he was born.

Mark Trail, 10/27/20

Oh, huh, I see that Happy Trail Farms really is where various Mark clones are spawned using forbidden science, exactly as I predicted. Maybe we need to have a Crisis on Infinite Trails, with DoddTrail, ElrodTrail, and AllenTrail vanquished in combat, before RiveraTrail can thrive, to the extent that freelance writing in the clickbait era can be called “thriving.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/27/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because Hootin’ Holler is so impoverished and isolated that it cannot participate in the modern economy, which is built around the mass manufacturing of complex devices out of standardized and interchangeable components!

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Those are real corpses and you need to call the police

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Mary Worth, 10/21/20

OK, I had to go back to last week to make sure I understood the timeline here so that I can anticipate the exact level of hilarity we’re about to encounter. After Tommy’s failed onion ring proposal, Brandy cut the date short, claiming she “wasn’t feeling well,” which we all assumed was code for “was just proposed to by a guy she wasn’t ready to marry, and also he used an onion ring to do it,” but I guess she really wasn’t feeling well, and now is about to leave the house, after what I assume is only a few minutes, and head down to the drug store. Speaking of drugs, Tommy only seemed to walk a block or so from Brandy’s house before being waylaid by his old drug buddy and offered some delicious drugs. Clearly this means that Brandy, who you’ll recall has a lot of semi-unresolved issues about her own dad’s struggle with addiction and who was assured that Tommy’s problems in that department are thoroughly in his past, is about to stumble upon her boyfriend enjoying a big hit of the ol’ crack cocaine — or, better, looking like he’s about to enjoy a big hit even though he’s actually about to turn it down. I’m very excited about this!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/21/20

I’m sure whatever bad thing Sarah has done is extremely low stakes, but please let me cling, just for a moment, to the idea that Sarah has succeeded where Nancy has repeatedly failed and is throwing an absolute rager of a COVID party in the rec room right now.

Dustin, 10/21/20

I honestly enjoy Dustin’s dad’s wry little smile in the final panel. It’s like he’s thinking, “Huh, I would’ve guessed me and the rest of our family were the things she was most grateful for, but at least we both hate it when other people have fun.”

Marvin, 10/21/20

God, I’m not sure what I would’ve come up with if you had asked me what the grimmest possible thing for a fish to say might be, but “I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a fish” has got to be pretty high on the list.