Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 6/2/17

Kids tend to love the Peter Pan story in an uncomplicated way, but there’s definitely something more than a little sinister about a boy who spends eternity on the verge of adolescence. Just something to think about here, as we see a girl who may be starting to fancy Dennis a little bit broaching the subject of the changes that will someday be happening to their bodies, only to have him respond with some inane blather about accents. The sad thing is, as Dennis enters his 56th year of being 5 or 6, he’s got a much firmer grip on his own reality than Gina does.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/2/17

Ha ha, look at the principal’s face in panel one! That’s a man who did not ask about how Les’s new book was going and is not pleased that he’s being given information on the subject without his consent.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/2/17

You know the old saying, Niki: It’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up that gets you angrily pointed at.

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/17/17

The last however many seemingly interminable days of Rex Morgan, M.D., have involved Kelly agreeing to take on extra after-school childcare duties at the Morgans so that June can go back to work at the clinic, with June talking a lot about finding a “balance” between family and professional life. Today’s strip is intriguing because it reveals the truth about the balance that upper-class families seek: that it is purchased at the expense of working-class people who need the money badly enough that they neglect their own personal lives so that the wealthy can enjoy a well-rounded existence. This radical political message is however a little undercut by the fact that we’re talking about Kelly, a high schooler who mainly wants to spend more time with her boyfriend on her off hours so she doesn’t have to give him surreptitious handjobs while she’s supposed to be babysitting. But, I would argue, if June deserves both professional fulfillment and a two-child family, then so too do Kelly and Niki deserve the full range of teen fooling around that their social betters take as a given.

Shoe, 5/17/17

Say, have you ever had the experience of seeing a comely tattooed young woman in a tight, short skirt, and you can’t stop seething about how the decline in America’s morals means that supposedly respectable girls go around dressed like prostitutes these days but also can’t stop visualizing her every time you close your eyes? Well, good news: if you have a comic strip that sometimes features erotically drawn bird-women, you can work your problems out … through your art.

The Lockhorns, 5/17/17

Wait wait wait, are Leroy and Loretta supposed to be … younger than me? Welp, time to die

Post Content

Phantom, 4/29/17

Hmmm … can’t shake a “feeling of death,” Big Guy? Maybe it’s because you sleep cheek-by-jowl with your ancestors’ corpses, decorate yourself with skull jewelry, and live inside a gigantic death’s-head?

Nah. More likely it’s just a premonition that your city-bred wife, out stalking a pygmy tribal chief in the deep jungle, is about to get all slain by one of his adorable little arrows.

Crankshaft, 4/29/17

Wait, sad to outlive your dreams? But that way you’d still be around to enjoy them after they turn into facts! Sounds kinda nice — sign me up!

Not Lillian, though — she’s lived in the Funkyverse long enough to know this ain’t no Disney movie (the depression cats are a giveaway). So she games the system, adopting only those dreams that will fail slowly enough to outlast her. That way, she can die basking in the delusion that her remaining dreams still had a shot. Not like her dream to open a used bookstore above the garage — that sucker failed from the get-go and mocks her to this day.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/29/17

OK, Rex Morgan has been setting up this porno for so long the only question left is the dramatis personae: Niki and Kelly, sure, but who’s on third: rich-girl Holly — or Kelly’s Mom Summer (ew)?

And pace Josh, Niki’s actually far from a novice at this sort of thing: a decade ago, June blackmailed him into “cleaning her garage,” if you know what I mean. And that was before he got his wet hands all over Rex’s trout.

Anyway, it’s great to see this classic soaper returning to its roots. Its sexy, creepy roots.

Spider-Man, 4/29/17

Spider-Man plugs Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy franchise almost as hard as Mary Worth plugs Carnival Cruise Lines. Probably for more cash, but definitely with a lot less effort. Never change, Web-Slinger!

Hello, faithful reader! I’m sitting in while Josh enjoys a Spring Break chock-full of enjoyable activities on a colossal liner steaming around the Caribbean, or maybe just sneaks out back for a delicious cigarette. Either way, reach me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if you have any problems with the site.

If you use the commenting feature, be aware that I’m notified automatically when a comment is placed in moderation, so there’s no need to alert me by email or in a follow-up comment. I’ll clear comments as soon as I see them, which won’t always be immediately. Thanks for your anticipated patience!

–Uncle Lumpy