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So ends the Comics Curmudgeon 2019 Summer Fundraiser — Thank you for your generous support!

Six Chix, 8/24/19

Never mind joy, that blouse is sparking some serious anger. I’d love to know the backstory here: was the blouse a gift from an ex before a bitter breakup? A reminder of some humiliating public wardrobe malfunction? A hand-me-down from a hated elder sister? Or is she just feeling resentful at being pushed around by some weepy co-dependent rag? Jeez, lady, it hasn’t fit you in fifteen years!

Judge Parker, 8/24/19

First-time offender Alan Parker confessed, before any charges were filed, that he helped Norton here fake his own death. What is that, worst case maybe honest services fraud? But the judge in the case — a former colleague of Parker’s — denied his request for bail and threw him in the penitentiary until his trial. And now Norton plans to unwind all that by lying to the court that he made him do it?

Neddy wrote this, right? It’s a plot twist and we’re just reading her screenplay. Please?

Mark Trail, 8/24/19

Pluggers

Sally Forth, 8/24/19

Jackie wants to buy “Small Wonders,” her friend/boss Tasha’s vanity business. She hasn’t done the research. She hasn’t talked to the necessary people. She is still Sally’s lost little sister.

Jackie is the Fredo Corleone of Sally Forth, making Sally its Michael and Ted its … no no no, that won’t work at all; let me start over …

— Uncle Lumpy

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Curtis, 7/10/18

Curtis and Barry discover Michelle’s camgirl site with Zoom stuck at 400%.

Between Friends, 7/10/18

Obsessive neurotic Susan has vague memories of her former life.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/10/18

NARRATOR VOICE: “Their book was never nominated.”

Also, dearie, it’s called a “spit take,” not a “nod take” — you sip the coffee first; you don’t stick your damn nose in it. Any self-respecting Eisner nominee would know this.

Judge Parker, 7/10/18

Abbey has willed a gallows into existence in Sam’s office. Tread lightly, Sam!

Mary Worth, 7/10/18

Tommy has discovered the one person in Santa Royale who’s more of an emotional wreck than he is. I hear wedding bells!

Sally Forth, 7/10/18

Girl fight Girl fight GIRL FIGHT!!!

OK, that’s the actual joke; I just couldn’t help myself.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Sally Forth, 7/1/18

For better or worse, people in Gasoline Alley and Funky Winkerbean grow up as they age. But here in Sally Forth they grow down, by which I mean they turn into Ted — with his attention deficit, encyclopedic pop-culture obsessions, and the whimsy oh God so much whimsy. We’ve seen it happen before to Hilary, and here Sally herself succumbs. While I’m delighted to see her give up being a humorless scold, I’m not sure the strip can handle two Teds. And it makes Real Ted’s proposal just icky.

Prince Valiant, 7/1/18

Listen Prince Valiant, I will stick with you through this “Senate votes on the Trade Zone” nonsense, but one word about midichlorians and we are done.

Curtis, 7/1/18

It’s funnier if that’s Edna.

Judge Parker, 7/1/18

The pizza guy shows up at the door and confirms the leading lady’s innocence: history’s worst porno script.

— Uncle Lumpy