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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/3/24

Sure, we’re being told that this crowd is CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!ing in big red letters, but by their faces, they don’t look that enraptured, do they? This makes sense because honestly, the audience for a self-help group/cult tour making its second pass through a smallish city would logically be mostly made up of (a) people who had already bought into the cult idea and are now unsettled to learn that the cult has a new leader and (b) people who only came in the hopes that Mud would play “Muddy Boots” and, like, who cares if this cult has just undergone a leadership reshuffle, really? Is that going to make them play “Muddy Boots” any sooner? Because frankly they’re just talking a lot about who really founded the cult and that can only push “Muddy Boots” time further back.

Family Circus, 1/3/24

I genuinely love how haunted both Jeffy and Grandma look here. Grandma obviously is really wounded that the kids just walked out in the middle of some story that was obviously quite meaningful to her, possibly about her beloved husband, the grandfather they never knew. Jeffy, meanwhile, is thinking “World exist before Jeffy? This mean teddy bear still exist when under blanket and Jeffy can’t see???”

Blondie, 1/3/24

I also genuinely love the Red Bull empties on Dagwood’s desk. He tried! He really tried! But if he can stay rail-thin despite his shockingly inhuman food consumption habits, you’d better believe that a few thousand milligrams of caffeine and taurine aren’t going to be enough to keep his synapses firing.

Shoe, 1/3/24

I will admit that this is a perfectly serviceable bit of wordplay, but I do want to point out that they give this lefty-loving bird lady a headband, because only a dirty hippie would ever date a socialist! Just to drive the point home, Roz is using the red flag of world revolution to wipe the crumbs off her counter.

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Blondie, 12/19/23

Of the legacy comics characters out there, Blondie has a less expressive face than most — I think the word I’d use to describe it most of the time is “rictus” — but it seems clear that she’s pretty gobsmacked in the final panel, right? Like the scales have fallen from her eyes and she realizes what a bum her husband is. She works her fingers to the bone all day building a successful small business and has to cook for the biggest glutton in this nameless, soulless suburb, and now she finds out that every supposed slander her husband’s boss has laid out about him has been true all this time! And yet he still collects his fat, steady salary. The nerve! The absolute nerve!

Hi and Lois, 12/19/23

Speaking of facial expressions and suburban ennui, I like the emotional roller coaster Hi is on here. He already knew there wasn’t a bonus check in that box, and he thought had settled into the appropriate level of despair. But upon opening it, he discovered he was still capable of shock.

Family Circus, 12/19/23

I know that “smug” is Billy’s primary non-sullen facial expression and it usually isn’t appropriate, but it seems particularly inappropriate here. “Heh heh,” he seems to be thinking, “Santa loves the fact that I keep changing my mind and he’s had to retool my Christmas haul multipe times.” No he doesn’t, Billy! Nobody would like that!

Shoe, 12/19/23

Excited to see that Roz has transcended the goggle eyes of horror and has achieved the bulging eyes of murderous rage. Well deserved, too! Shoe, she just wanted your expertise as the editor of a failing newspaper to help her price her new entry into the competitive pre-made frozen meal market! There’s no reason to be a dick about it!

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Slylock Fox, 12/11/23

I think we all (and by “we all” I mean “me and you hapless fools who somehow cannot get enough of my Slylock Fox commentary”) have long ago agreed that the animals of Slylock Fox are living in the ruins of our own civilization. In our ongoing discussion of this strip, we seek to determine which technologies and social habits they have retained which they have rejected or have failed to keep working. Today, for instance, we learn that the animals understand intuitively that operating automobiles is a dangerous business that must be regulated by the state, and yet have apparently lost the capacity to manufacture or use the simple radar gun. Instead, the police must detain anyone suspected of reckless driving until one of the higher animals arrive, in the hopes of getting the offender to offer an anecdote that serves as an accidental confession when subjected to basic algebraic analysis. Seems like an overly elaborate way to run a highway patrol to me, but in this reality I would almost certainly have had my face eaten off by a beaver in the process of achieving sapience long ago, so it wouldn’t be my problem.

Shoe, 12/11/23

If you’re asking about the original Fantasy Island series, Shoe, it broadcast its last episode on Mary 19, 1984. There have been occasional attempts at a revival, but none were anywhere near as popular as the original, and the latest reboot was cancelled on May 8, 2023, after two seasons. Or are you asking what happened to the world of Fantasy Island, its compelling and mysterious setting, after the cameras stopped rolling? Well, my friend, you might want to explore the rich world of fan art and fan fiction, on World Wide Web sites such as DeviantArt, Tumblr dot com, and An Archive Of Our Own! Truly, amazing new worlds limited only by our collective imaginations await you!