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Six Chix, 10/25/23

After yesterday’s debacle, I’m pleased to see today’s Six Chix, in which a corporate dog discusses his frustrations with measured dignity. There’s a fire hydrant in the foreground, and since this is a comic about dogs, I think we’re supposed to assume one of them will piss on it eventually. But they’re not rubbing our faces in it and I’m sure we can agree that when they do get around to it, they’ll do it in a normal and relatively wholesome fashion.

Dennis the Menace, 10/25/23

Hey, Dennis, since we’re talking body parts, where’s your neck? Pretty sure we should be able to see at least some of it from this angle, but instead it kind of looks like your head’s just floating an inch or so above your shoulders. Just to keep with the counting theme, you have zero necks, which is fewer necks than you should have!

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Six Chix, 10/23/23

This is at least the second time that Six Chix has done a “ha ha, what if vampires got the blood they need to survive in very chill and non-scary ways” joke, and I’m going to go on the record as not really caring for it. Vampires are dangerous monsters who God has turned His back on, and they use their sexy charisma to lure us into complacency so they can violently drink our blood! The best case scenario for a vampire victime is a painful death, but it’s also possible that they can Turn you into one of them, another damned soul haunting the night and burning with a thirst that can never be truly slaked. If they can just order vials of blood on GrubHub or whatever it’s not fun anymore, and doing this joke so close to Halloween is frankly offensive.

Crock, 10/23/23

Speaking of the eternal torment of the undead, one of my least favorite running “jokes” in Crock is that there’s a live, talking chicken who is constantly being boiled in the fort’s stewpot, always suffering and never dying. This is a pretty baroque and grim bit for a newspaper comic strip; but don’t worry, deploying it doesn’t keep the Crock from its extreme shambolic laziness, as you’ll note that the chicken’s cook/torturer just kind of vanishes between panels one and two; changing the composition to accommodate all three figures would’ve simply been too taxing.

Shoe, 10/23/23

I love the Perfesser’s date’s heavy eyelids of ennui throughout this exchange. She has a truly odd and specific job, and when she first started out in the business, she thought of a fun little joke about it, but it’s been years now and even though she still feels obliged to trot it out … it just doesn’t hit like it used to, you know? She’s tired, you guys, she’s so tired.

Hi and Lois, 10/23/23

Is It Fun To Joke About Our Teen Son Being Horny? Opinions Differ!

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Mary Worth, 10/3/23

“I believe otherwise and, I can paint a fuller picture for you”? This isn’t an episode of Columbo, just say you got his address from 23AndMe or something. Already feeling tired of this lady’s whole deal, to be honest.

Dennis the Menace, 10/3/23

Normally I disapprove of Dennis leveling his menacing powers at the education system, but his teacher today has clearly just gotten very high and is now trying to explain the concept of infinity to her students by adding one to numbers over and over again. Dennis is right, this exercise is never going to stop!

Six Chix, 10/3/23

Oh, sure, Tuesday’s Six Chik is all “I’m a goth, I love fall and spooky season.” But are you prepared to fully commit to the bit, death-wise?