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Archive: Six Chix

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He’s not a chef like some snooty French rat, no sir

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Six Chix, 5/6/21

Folks, Six Chix sure loves its cryptids, and I for one am on board! The strip long dwelled on a single subject: “What if Bigfoot were sexually attractive?” But now the strip has started branching out, onto subjects like “What if a human captured a mermaid and she eventually resigned herself to living with him?” and, today, “What if a rat were big?” I think I might like this one the best. Ha ha, look at that rat, everybody! He’s so big! And friendly. Only in New York!

Crock, 5/6/21

Ladies, you know how it is: you come home to find your husband visibly intoxicated and sitting atop a literal pile of garbage. This is such a cliche that in order to make a comic strip about it, you’d need to put a fresh new spin on it. Like, say, what if you were to use the world of computers as a metaphor? Eh? What if your house were some kind of computer system, which would make your drunk, disgusting husband malware of some sort? Eh? That’s how computers work, I think? I’ve never used one, but I’ve met people who have.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/6/21

HARRY DINKLE: [hears the word “mascot”]
HARRY DINKLE: [visualizes the mascot at the school where he used to work]
HARRY DINKLE: “I definitely am familiar with the word ‘mascot’ and its meaning!”

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Is Gil the sinister puppetmaster … or the first victim

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Six Chix, 3/24/21

One thing I really respect about Six Chix is that it’s not afraid to “go there” when it comes to cryptid erotica. Usually, of course, we’re talking weird Bigfoot smut, but sure, let’s give mermaids a spin! This strip is frankly pretty grim: our poor mermaid is being encouraged to adorn her perfectly normal and healthy single fluke in a parody of the “sexy” garments worn by the land-dwellers on their doubled lower extremities, and is also simultaneously being taunted with the instrument of her own enslavement.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/24/21

Oh, great, one day after I finally work myself up to write a 500 word essay on how putting Harry Dinkle into the current Crankshaft storyline violates the 10-year separation between the two Funkyverse strips, we find out that in fact despite her protests Lillian has been toiling as church organist for more than a decade and the separation is still in place after all! This is clearly an attack on me personally. Anyway, never forget that Harry had to quit his band teaching job because he went semi-deaf, so hopefully this church will be rewarded with some real sub-par organing.

Gil Thorp, 3/24/21

Gotta admit that this basketball season plot about Vic and his MC-ing ways didn’t really hold my interest, but now that Doug Guthrie and Corina Karenna, probably two of the top five more interesting characters currently in this strip, are planning to team up and overthrow the government through a series of daring assassinations, I’m back on board!

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“Hachi machi,” he thought, grimly. “Biscuits for dinner tonight”

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Dick Tracy, 2/18/21

I just kind of assumed that, as a high-ranking detective in the Major Crimes Unit, Dick Tracy was, if not living on easy street, then at least financially comfortable. But today we learn that he’s so short of cash that he’s been reduced to using leftover Chinese food for gambling purposes, and thinks a single dollar bill represents “pay dirt.” Truly sad that those snitches in Internal Affairs say you’re not allowed to put stuff from the evidence locker up for auction on the dark web anymore!

Six Chix, 2/18/21

I … guess this is a riff on the “I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast” bit in the beloved 1996 Adam Sandler film Happy Gilmore? Except that cats really do eat fish, and it isn’t gross at all or embarrassing for the cat say that? I suppose if Six Chix were going to do a strip where the entire joke was substituting the word “fish” for the word “shit” because they sound vaguely alike, they could’ve made it a lot more disgusting than this, so let’s count our blessings.

Dennis the Menace, 2/18/21

Dennis has a plan for rising sea levels in the wake of melting ice caps, everyone: he’s gonna climb this tree! It’s not a plan with a lot of thought towards next steps or long term consequences, but it is a plan nevertheless.