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Family Circus, 7/18/16

Longtime readers know that the Family Circuses I like best are the ones where Billy is just an unapologetic little turd, so I particularly appreciate today’s panel, which features our boy leaning ecstatically out of the bus as he uses the brief moment of authority he’s been afforded to decide who gets to have fun and who doesn’t. Mommy and Daddy just look numb, probably because they know they’re going to have to deal with the squabbling that will break out in the wake of Billy’s last-minute diktats. The whole point of shipping him off to military school for the year was to avoid this kind of thing!

Six Chix, 7/18/16

Good lord, you cruel monster, that chicken isn’t wearing any shoes! How’s it supposed to click its heels together and apparate to the land where chickens are truly free, not just free to wander around a little yard? Is this something you do for fun, put on a pink dress and a tiara and taunt farm animals with the prospects of freedom?

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/12/16

Sheriff Tait didn’t like crimes going unsolved in his community, but when he finally figured out that the serial killer who had been preying on the Holler for years was Silas, and that he had been butchering his victims and selling their flesh to the unsuspecting townfolk, he had to admit he got a certain grim satisfaction to ending the awful carnage.

Slylock Fox, 7/12/16

You’re right to be terrified, camper! You’ve come face to face with the rare and deadly Land Lobster!

Six Chix, 7/12/16

Today’s Six Chix would like to remind you that it’s never too late to lose your ability to feel enthusiasm or joy.

Blondie, 7/12/16

“You’re all fired!”

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Dick Tracy, 7/4/16

Hey, everybody, remember the Space Coupe? Last we saw it, a couple of bad guys had stolen it, but its inventor Diet Smith had taken control of it remotely and sent it drifting endlessly into deep space. Today, two years later, in honor of our nation’s independence, Dick Tracy wants to remind you that it’s still out there, whirling forever in the vast nothingness. Did Dr. Ghote and Dr. Sail gradually suffocate as the Coupe’s oxygen slowly ran out, giving them ample time to understand their inevitable fate? Or does the magical technology that allows the vessel to move without obvious propulsion or thrust also provide infinite oxygen, leaving the ne’er-do-wells to instead confront starvation, staved off temporarily only by a brief, violent turn to cannibalism? Either way, happy birthday, America!

Six Chix, 7/4/16

On this holiday when many Americans are travelling to attend cookouts with friends and family, Six Chix would like to remind you that every social event is nothing more than a prison!

Beetle Bailey, 7/4/16

Meanwhile, in Beetle Bailey, the mullosks have evolved language capabilities so they can beg us not to kill and eat them.