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Six Chix, 10/18/15

While I cannot argue with the sentiment of today’s Six Chix, I am supremely unnerved by the context in which it is delivered. Why do these three women (or are they variously malformed instances of the same woman?) each appear to be accompanied by an ominous dark void? Is this some sort of dimensional portal from which the women are emerging, or some of the Monoliths from the 2001 series? Or perhaps they’re just large stakes to which the women have been tied, with burning in the immediate future. In today’s fashion-forward world, does a woman condemn herself as a witch merely for suggesting sensible shoes?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/18/15

Haha, Jordan is not happy to be the unwitting confidant of Milton’s senile, paranoid fantasies! Maybe he’s just going to have to explain to Heather about this frozen money, or maybe they are all going to be killed by Milton’s enemies, but either way, I bet he’s regretting turning down that gig as “guy who gives free stuff to the Morgans” and telling his agent he wanted a bigger role.

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Crankshaft, 10/13/15

You might remember the Crankshaft strip from last month in which our heroes jammed an inflatable kangaroo into a pothole for a campaign commercial. I found it completely baffling, but several commenters patiently explained that it was a joke about the potholes being so deep they reach all the way to Australia. At least one person pointed out that the more typical metaphor would involve “digging a hole to China,” which is indeed the theme of today’s strip/commercial, going back to that same well. I’m honestly not sure if the fact that Ralph’s one-note campaign is just repeating itself endlessly is itself supposed to be the joke or if we just get one of these a month because, you know, why not.

Six Chix, 10/13/15

Hey lady, relax: Talking Heads broke up in 1991, with a fair amount of acrimony among the band members. If by some chance they did reunite, they’d probably do a reunion tour, or maybe even record a new album, but at any rate they’d be much more focused on music than telling you that coffee’s bad for you, OK? If David Byrne says it solo, it doesn’t count, so don’t worry about that.

Judge Parker, 10/13/15

Let’s not forget that Neddy’s big plan for this factory is literally to hire old people who are already on Medicare and Social Security so she doesn’t have to pay for their health insurance or retirement. This seemed like a great money-saving scheme at the time, but she hadn’t factored in the need to build elevators to accomodate the dozens of rascal scooters that would soon be whirring all over the factory floor.

Beetle Bailey, 10/13/15

Remember, if only straight men work on building sex robots, then a huge potential market will go untapped.

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Slylock Fox, 10/5/15

Sapient animals: they’re just like us, except in the sense that they had to piece together the fundamentals of an entire civilization in a very brief period of time, mostly using the wreckage of the culture they destroyed during their quick and presumably violent uprising. They’ve done pretty well for themselves, having managed clothes and boats and such; but, unlike humanity, they haven’t developed the elaborate legal theory that would allow ownership of this treasure chest to be awarded on a basis a little firmer than whose footprints were on top of whose. Anyway, the first sentence of today’s solution tells us that the animals are already imitating our worst mindsets.

Hi and Lois, 10/5/15

Hi and Lois is part of a longstanding American tradition of gentle humor about the lives of our relatively affluent middle class. Anyway, in today’s strip we learn that those lives are rife with anxiety, all the time.

Six Chix, 10/5/15

Speaking of animal uprisings, I’m not really sure what’s going on here, but to me the most unsettling thing is that these dogs are in a bed. Do you think these perverts were doing it “human style”? Disgusting.