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Apartment 3-G, 12/6/07

Oh, Margo! A single cutting remark from you sends my heart a-flutter more than any dopey six-week lead-up to Tommie getting to first base! And I’ve never loved you more than I do in today’s first panel. “Looking out for each other? Being loving and supportive in a family environment? That frankly strikes me as a lot of hassle. That’s why I alienate everyone who ever tries to love me — less work!” By panel three, Margo has adopted an expression of palpable scheming that’s equally hilarious. Many (including myself) have speculated that Margo will make Ruby her mule in her party-planning or art-displaying sweatshops, but now I think that our gal Magee is planning yet another career in the high-flying Manhattan service industry: she-pimp! “So, if Ruby was so happy to show affection to her family … for free … surely she’ll have no problem with showing affection … to strangers … for money!”

(Yes, I know that the English language already has in “madame” a perfectly serviceable word for a female who manages prostitutes. But I think the word “pimp” implies a certain callousness and propensity for violence that better suits Margo.)

Mary Worth, 12/6/07

Oh, Dr. Jeff, will you ever learn? You just got a response out of Mary that would allow you to extract some shred of dignity out of this conversation. Don’t push it. For the love of God, don’t push it. Mary’s comically exaggerated head-tilted finger-to-the-jawline contemplation pose is only going to end with her saying something blistering and humiliating.

For Better Or For Worse, 12/6/07

I actually kind of like Anthony’s “Are you going home?” question, because it implies that maybe, somehow, I know this is crazy, but just possibly two FBOFW characters who aren’t married and who aren’t terrible, awful whores might have sex! Oh, who am I kidding, they were just going to sit on the couch and chastely smooch on the lips. And those lips would be closed. And little Francie acted as an agent of a vengeful, pleasure-hating God of Foob and prevented even that. But it’s Anthony and Elizabeth and I don’t want anything good to happen to them anyway so I don’t really care.

Dennis the Menace, 12/6/07

So, wait, Margaret has a book lying around that’s essentially all about death? Maybe there’s hope for her yet.

Slylock Fox, 12/6/07

Man, you gotta feel bad for Count Weirdly. There are enough bizarre tchotchkes and strange animals in his lair to provide fodder for a scrambled word puzzle even if all he was doing was sitting around minding his own business and reading Famous Creeps. Instead, here comes Slylock and Max and some angry heron or something busting in to ruin his quiet evening with more wild accusations. Since there’s no mystery to solve, his crime is probably much more straightforward than usual — like, maybe he just exposed himself to her down at the park or something.

Garfield, 12/6/07

NEWSFLASH: COMICS CURMUDGEON CHUCKLES AT GARFIELD, QUESTIONS HIS WHOLE CONCEPT OF HOW THE UNIVERSE WORKS

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Archie, 11/30/07

Sure, I’m disturbed by the mysterious appearance of the word “GLOM!”, apparently written in mayonnaise and floating in mid-air, in panel two. We all are. But equally troubling is panel one, in which Jughead’s arms are invisible because he appears to be wearing some kind of barber’s smock. Does standard-issue gluttony no longer hold any appeal for our be-crowned slacker? In order to entertain himself, does he need to set little challenges — like, say, grabbing his best friend’s hamburger off his plate using nothing but his face? If so, be glad that GLOM is all we’re seeing in that second panel.

Slylock Fox, 11/30/07

I’m not smart enough to unscramble the items listed here that accompany Slylock’s little How To Be A Nosey Detective Who Offers His Opinions To People Who Don’t Ask speech, but I can tell you that one thing you’re never going to be able to unscramble is MAX’S FACE if he doesn’t stop trying to bust a move on Sly’s woman. Honestly, as if the fact that she’s literally three times taller than him and his natural predator wasn’t bad enough.

Speaking of busting a move, I’m betting that the kid in the back with the bow tie and satisfied expression is quite the hit with the ladies.

Mark Trail, 11/30/07

“Yes, when you’re accused of a crime you didn’t commit, who can prove your innocence? You need Andy the dog, P.I.!”

…

“You’ve been hit with a murder rap, and now you’re looking life in the pen straight in the face! Who do you call? Andy the dog, Attorney at Law!”

…

Well, that’s it. There’s actually no way I can make this any sillier.

For Better Or For Worse, 11/30/07

“You know what might have proved it to them? If they had just been able to watch me sign books and make small talk for another half an hour. But now they don’t really have a sense of how awesome I am. Sometimes Deanna is so selfish!”

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Comics Curmudgeon readers are continuing to gather in public and interact with each other outside the context of the Internet! I received the following fab note and pic from faithful reader Gold-Digging Nanny:

Non Compost Mentos and my boyfriend and I met up at Moxie Java a couple week ago for the first ever Boise Mudge Meet. We just now pulled the picture off the camera. Mentos is on the left, I’m in the middle and my boyfriend is on the right. We talked about the origins of Mary Worth, finger-quotin’ Margo, and Dysfunctional Family Circus until a homeless man kicked us out.

If you’d like to be a brave soul and wander away from your keyboard like Non Compost Mentos and Gold-Digging Nanny, check out the meetups forum!

You’ll note that Gold-Digging Nanny is sporting her awesome Bob Weber Jr.-designed Cassandra Cat shirt. Faithful reader KT took his shirt on the road — to Midwest Furfest, where it was a big hit, obviously. Here’s a couple of pics from the journey there — next to the St. Louis Arch and the Cloud Gate (informally known as “the Bean”) in Chicago’s Millennium Park:

Make like Gold-Digging Nanny and KT and buy your shirt today!

Oh, and one more thing: while you were stuffing your face on Thanksgiving day, faithful reader CCJunkie was reveling in yet another TDIET victory, since she’s K. Schroeder of Arlington, Va.!

I’ll let her tell the tale:

It seemed like an odd choice for Thanksgiving, since it was work related — it would have been better on Monday after the holiday weekend when more people would be in that situation. It was inspired by my friends, co-workers, and myself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve brought work home with excellent intentions and never gotten around to doing it. Now I don’t make as big a production of it as Gaspayne did. Also, I’m a single woman, so no one is nagging me to finish it. Also, my home is not infested with spiders that can spin vast arrays of webs over a briefcase in just two days.