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Mark Trail, 10/5/12

Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Mark Trail, in which a heavily armed Cherry resolved the whole Rusty-napping situation without Mark ever needing to show up! Given the level of real danger that was involved with Rusty being kidnapped by criminals and threatened with death, I’m a bit puzzled as to what “exaggeration” she thinks Rusty will resort to in recounting the story to Mark. “Mark, I saw these men killing sheep from a plane, and then they kidnapped me, and they were going to turn me into a sheep and then shoot me from a plane, so they taught me sheep language, but I summoned all the other sheep, who ate the men! Plus there were aliens!”

Family Circus, 10/5/12

The Billy (age 7) Family Circuses are usually mostly interesting to me because of the layers of family-narrative artifice involved (Jeff Keane continuing his father’s tradition of pretending to draw as his brother), but today’s family psychodrama is much more straightforward: remember, if you don’t like your mother, your kids will notice.

Spider-Man, 10/5/12

Looks like all’s well that’s ended will in Spider-Man! And now you get to contemplate whether you’d rather make sex to a snake or a spider, yuck.

Shoe, 10/5/12

Ha ha, it’s funny because Shoe is emotionally dead, unable to feel either joy or pain!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/5/12

Meanwhile, in Rex Morgan, the thingy came off and there’s water everywhere and June is pissed.

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Spider-Man, 10/1/12

So Spider-Man finally had to resort to some extremely mild superheroics in order to defeat Clown-9, and I think we can all be grateful that that’s over. Because now the strip can get back to its core competency: Spider-Man’s irritating personal and domestic situation, or, in his absence (obviously he’s earned a few days of semi-conscious TV time), that of his wife. I sure hope you want to see petty bickering behind the scenes of Broadway’s most terrible comedy sensation, because it seems that’s going to be the theme of our week!

Today Jericho demonstrates that he’s too dumb to recognize when he’s been insulted, which is probably a good quality to have if you’re both thin-skinned and the sort of person that people want to insult. But he also demonstrates the natural-born actor’s native eloquence: “Spider-Man’s victory over a deranged clown” is surely one of the most pleasing turns of phrase we’re likely to see in this strip all year.

Apartment 3-G, 10/1/12

Margo, you’re slipping, girl! The best way to maintain your dignity is to act as if everything you do is dignified and ignore the opinions of other, lesser people on the subject. “Greg, my paid manservant Evan was just tending to my physical needs and you interrupted his process! This is very inconvenient for me. I demand that you apologize to him for the imposition. I believe he’s weeping quietly to himself in a corner somewhere, I’m sure you can find him, just follow the sobbing.”

B.C., 10/1/12

Today’s B.C. features vicious carnivores using dismembered corpse parts as currency, in a scene that would fit in perfectly either in the most depraved of shock-horror films or in the beloved, family-friendly confines of the comics page! The pool of blood spreading out from beneath the quivering heap of viscera is a nice touch.

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Slylock Fox, 9/6/12

I’m always much more interested in the stories lurking in the Slylock Fox Six Differences games than I am in actually tracking down the six differences, and the story I want to hear is about the kid at lower left. Why is he so obviously sad? Is he the nervous one in his group of friends, anxious that their parents will find out they’ve snuck into a horror movie? Is he alone sensitive enough to see the true tragedy in the Frankenstein story — that the Monster needs love from the world but turns violent because it meets only fear and disgust? Does he already know that, thanks to his decision to buy an enormous drink, his need to urinate will become unbearable right around the time the movie reaches its climax?

Beetle Bailey, 9/6/12

Beetle Bailey is littered with characters that were added to “keep up with the times” in some long-ago decade, so it’s interesting to revisit them once in a while as a little time capsule of our nation’s past. I had always assumed that Rocky, who has a vague greaser vibe, was added in the ’50s because the kids loved James Dean and the rock and roll music. Today’s strip is a nice reminder that, while old-timey teens in leather jackets seem quaint today (who could be less threatening than Henry Winkler?), at the time mainstream American was completely terrified of their mostly imagined propensity for brutal violence. I’m pretty sure the nunchucks are a modern addition to Rocky’s arsenal, though.

Archie, 9/6/12

Oh, man, globalization, amiright everybody? This tale of American failure is made all the more pointed by the fact that Archie’s dad looks like a balder version of Thomas Dewey. “Look, you all voted for that bastard Truman, don’t blame me for this sorry state of affairs.”

Spider-Man, 9/6/12

“I mean, I already foiled one of his schemes — why won’t he just surrender now? Man, this job would be a lot easier if all my enemies were as lazy as I am.”