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Thursday quickies

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Apartment 3-G, 11/12/15

Welp, looks like now that ol’ Greg is riding into town with his James Bond money, Eric realizes he can’t compete in terms of providing Margo with all she ever wanted, and so he’s out. He and Greg aren’t even going to talk to each other! Because if there’s one thing we all wanted as this storied strip rides into the sunset, it’s a complete lack of conflict of any kind.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/12/15

If you need more evidence of how desperately poor Hootin’ Holler is, check out today’s strip, in which the community’s chief law enforcement officer can be bribed for a mere $5.

Hi and Lois, 11/12/15

“Don’t be ridiculous! Now you just lie immobilized in bed and look at these huge blank posters I’ve hung around your room until your mind goes empty.”

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Keane kids are among the plumpest and most delicious

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Family Circus, 11/11/15

The “Keane Kid looks disheveled and drops his stuff on the ground and leans back on the door as he arrives home from school” is a bit of visual shorthand for “tough day” that the Family Circus deploys a lot. I’ve always had minor practical gripes with it (don’t the kids all come home from school together? are Jeffy and Dolly outside pounding on the door trying to get in?) but today it occurred to me that it also kind of looks like Billy has run desperately into the house and is trying to keep out someone — or something. Something that stalked and devoured the children sitting on either side of Billy in his classroom. But he made it out alive, by remaining absolutely silent.

Spider-Man, 11/11/15

So this lady who straight-up bashed in the Atlantean guard’s helmets with a club of some sort is … just some random doctor? Who wanders the docks of New York, looking for fish-children to forcibly rescue? I did a cursory Google search for “Liz Bellman” and “marvel” and have satisfied myself that this isn’t the secret identity of some random long-standing Marvel superhero/villain who I’m not familiar with but who will be starring in a Netflix original MCU series in 2017, but please be sure to correct me in the comments if I’m wrong!

Marvin, 11/11/15

Marvin, you’re starting a bank to bilk babies out of money they don’t have and your hobby is shitting yourself. Please don’t try to pop-shame your father.

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Haha, it’s funny because of the violent carnage

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Hagar the Horrible, 11/10/15

You know, we spend a lot of time watching Hagar and his Viking band destroying other people’s homes, so it’s about time we get some payback and see all of his worldly possessions, and possibly his terrified family, go up in flames. I feel strongly enough about this that I’m willing to accept Attila the Hun being the perpetrator, even though that’s about 500 years and 1,500 miles away from historical accuracy.

Mary Worth and The Phantom, 11/10/15

Haha, one of these people is a lot more interested in extending this relationship than the other one! “Uh, thanks for the ride, have fun with your actual friends!” “Here’s my number! I’ll be here for weeks! Call me about anything! An-y-thing.”

Judge Parker, 11/10/15

Oh, whew, Sam and Abbey don’t have to figure out how to get rid of the RV that they bought for a song and then suddenly got bored with. It’s going to serve as Neddy’s dowry!