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Panel from Spider-Man, 1/1/13

Hello, everyone! I’m back from my voyaging, and having looked at exactly zero comics since December 23rd, so I feel a little like this panel, which I saw gloriously devoid of context just now (as if any panel of Newspaper Spider-Man is improved by “context” or whatever). Real comics and commentary thereupon will arrive sometime Wednesday, maybe late afternoon-ish, as I have a week’s worth of strips to catch up on, but I wanted to put this post up to (a) assure you I was still alive and (b) let you know that you only have a few more days to vote in the most important Mary Worth-themed awards competition of the season, the Worthy Awards, produced by the always excellent Mary Worth and Me blog. Go forth and choose your faves!

I hope you all had pleasant holidays and a happy new year’s celebration! I’m making the same pledge I make every new year on this blog: To keep doing the same thing I’ve been doing for years, because I love it. Hope you do too! See you tomorrow with real comics mockery!

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Heathcliff, 12/23/12

Ah, Christmastime … a period of punishment and rewards from a monstrous cat-deity, if I understand the theology properly. And so, just as I will spank you (i.e., not update the site for the next week or so as I make my annual Hanukwanzmas journey, minus the Hanu- part because Hanukkah was super early this year), so too will I eventually give you delicious cheese (i.e., start updating the site on the 1st or 2nd of January or thereabouts, whenever I recover from my holiday stupor and start looking at the Internet again). Until then, enjoy your holidays! Or, you know, don’t, see if I care.

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Crock, 12/22/12

Commandant Vermin P. Crock (haha, no, really, that’s his name) has been doing his evil dictatorial thing since this strip debuted 37 years ago, so I shudder to think that he still considers himself to be in the early days of his career. Has he stumbled upon some Maghrebi immortality elixir out there in the desert, and now knows he will rule the land around his fort for centuries to come? It would explain how the strip keeps appearing months after its creators supposedly quit.

Spider-Man, 12/22/12

I think a particularly cruel thing to do to people reading a terribly written narrative is to remind them that good writers exist, and that some characters in the terribly written narrative have just decided to opt out and read those good writers while lounging around in bed.

Better Half, 12/22/12

I take it back, Harriet’s friend isn’t too sleepy for sex, she’s just heard too many stories like this and now any mention of sex causes overwhelming nausea.