Post Content

The Lockhorns, 11/28/11

My goodness but this is a delightful Lockhorns! I’m not entirely sure what’s supposed to be happening here, but since Leroy is in his pajamas and looks miserable and ill, while Loretta is already up and about and dressed and carrying something indistinguishably horizontal, I’m going to guess that he’s been staring at that mirror for hours now, trying to decide whether or not to follow through on his drunken boast from last night that he was going to kill himself. “Let me know how it ends!” Loretta says cheerfully, fully aware that if he doesn’t have the courage to end his awful, soul-crushing marriage, he certainly doesn’t have the guts to finish himself off.

Gil Thorp, 11/28/11

Way back in the mists of times, Gil Thorp plots ended in wacky hijinks and weird psychological ploys, but apparently someone decided that this wasn’t realistic enough, so now Gil solves his problems like a real high school football coach would: by ignoring them until it becomes clear that they won’t go away, and then yelling at people. Last year’s great budget cut debacle concluded when Gil showed up at a school board meeting and dragged his enemy’s private life into public scrutiny; now he’s just straight up humiliating the president of the team booster club in front of his buddies. Presumably everyone else will literally fall in behind Gil, now that the true alpha male has been identified.

Archie, 11/28/11

In this Archie rerun from the mid-1990s, Ms. Grundy worries about the teenage pregnancy epidemic (not that we’ve ever seen a pregnant teenager in Archie, but I guess she has a TV set). Well, don’t fret, long-ago Ms. Grundy! Over the next decade and a half, teen birth rates will plummet, eventually hitting their lowest point since the 1940s. Teens continue to not use pins as tokens of affection, though, if you still want something to complain about the kids today.

Marvin, 11/28/11

Obviously — obviously — Marvin’s sudden Internet fame involves time spent on the toilet.

Post Content

Hey all! The strain of posting new strips all Thanksgiving week meant that I haven’t been able to keep up with the week’s comments, so I’m going to let Red Greenback’s genius stay up for another week. New comments of the week (including the few I socked away from this past week) next Friday. However, I do have a few items left for your edification:

First off, if you haven’t pre-ordered Santa vs. Dracula, the upcoming graphic novel from Ed Power and Melissa DeJesus of My Cage fame, now (and by “now” I mean “by midnight Eastern Time Sunday”) is the time to do it! They’re very close to reaching their goal, but need just a few more orders to get over the top. I’ve pre-ordered mine! Help make this project happen!

But Santa vs. Dracula won’t ship until sometime next year. If you need a present for the upcoming holiday season, obviously you will want to buy [Citation Needed], a collection of the best of Wikipedia’s worst writing that Rifftrax writer Conor Lastowka and I culled from our our blog. OK, yes, you probably have heard this all before, but this weekend Amazon’s mysterious algorithms put the book on sale for who knows how long, so perhaps you want to take advantage of that? Or, if you only do your shopping in person and happen to live in or near Baltimore, Washington DC, or San Diego, head on down to Trohv (in Baltimore and Takoma Park) or Progress South Park (in San Diego), ’cause the book’s there too!

Next, I must confess that my bird-banding record-keeping has gotten shabby during some chaos over the past few weeks. I have a nagging feeling that there are several of you to whom I owe bird bands but who I haven’t sent them out to yet. If you are one of those who contributed during the fund raiser (or who just put some cash in my tip jar over the past few weeks) but you haven’t gotten your band, please email me at bio@jfruh.com with your mailing address and I’ll get one out to you!

Finally, must give thanks to our advertisers:

• So cute, so indie: ShanaLogic.com: 100% awesome handmade & indie gear designed by artists! You totally NEED:
  • Geek Chic
  • Hot Jewelry!
  • Yummy Goods
  • Guys Gear
  • Cute Plushies

  Support artists by shopping at Shana Logic & you’ll make the world a better place. Orders over $75 get FREE SHIPPING!

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/27/11

The throwaway panels of today’s Snuffy Smith shed light on a perennial interest of mine and nobody else’s: the economy of Hootin’ Holler. Though I’ve never spotted him as one of the strip’s cast of characters, apparently “Farmer Johnson” lives in this blighted hamlet, attempting to make a living from agriculture. Since the chickens and sausage he produces are invariably stolen by his parasitic neighbors, one wonders why he hasn’t pulled up stakes long ago, or at least given up working hard like a sucker.

If anything, the rest of the strip is even more unsettling, in that we learn that Snuffy, had not his neural circuits been overloaded by visions of chickeny pleasure, would have killed and devoured his hapless nephew. Jughaid’s pleas for mercy would have only registered in Snuffy’s mind as clucks as the thieving hillbilly lived out his great fantasy of eating an enormous angel-chicken. I assume the first throwaway panel depicts one of these divine fowl, which leads us to a sad question: Are chickens killed, dismembered, fried, and eaten, even in chicken heaven?

Crankshaft, 11/27/11

C’mon, Crankshaft, there’s plenty of room for another word-balloon lobe there, so why not end Ed’s musings with “…and, finally, your coffin?” The general vibe of the Funkyverse would seem to demand it. I mean, I’m assuming the family is intending to wall up their hated matriarch in that room Cask of Amontillado-style anyway.

Panel from Mary Worth, 11/27/11

We’ve had a few thousand years of YHWH trying to guide our morals, but we haven’t really taken the lessons to heart. A much crueler God will be handing down the commandments from now on.