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Mary Worth, 11/8/10

So why exactly does Adrian put up with Jill pushing her around again? Last week I suggested that it might be because Adrian derives unseemly enjoyment from being pushed around, but we can’t ignore the possibility that it’s just a result of wholly justified fear of violent consequences. After all, today’s strip makes it clear that Jill is in fact a terrifying giantess, looming a full head taller than the normal humans around her, who will always obey her lest their bones be crushed to make her bread.

Like many freakish mega-hominids, Jill is a bit behind the times when it comes to fashions. Jill, simple, low-key designs are what all the snobs are after these days. You aren’t seriously pushing Adrian towards some kind of curlicued frippery, are you? If you’re going to be supercilious, you’ve got to stay on the cutting edge of modern tastes, or you risk becoming ridiculous — more ridiculous than a giantess in a stationery store is normally, even.

Herb and Jamaal, 11/8/10

I like how put out Herb looks in the final panel here. Come on, Jamaal, just because you never talk about the sex afterwards doesn’t mean you have to pretend every time that you’ve never done it before.

Mark Trail, 11/8/10

So Saturday’s excitement resulted from a deer leaping into the road, sacrificing herself to save Mark’s life? Huh. I don’t think any of us were expecting that, although not so much in a “what a surprising but satisfying narrative twist!” way but rather in a “SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL” way.

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Panel from Mary Worth, 11/7/10

Few things brought more delight to me today than the opening panel of Mary Worth. “I had fun!” the fleeing K-car declares sunnily as it speeds away from the towering concrete monstrosity that is Charterstone. Never has this supposedly high-end condo complex looked more like a ramshackle series of cinderblock structures thrown up in short order after the whole area had been leveled in an Allied bombing raid, following a plan laid out by M.C. Escher. The faux-Spanish tiles slapped on the roofs cannot hide the buildings’ essential ghastliness. Hovering merrily over it all, of course, is an Oscar Wilde witticism about stabbing people.

Crankshaft, 11/7/10

As a rule, Crankshaft isn’t shy about its Northeast Ohio setting, or its characters’ love of the various hapless Cleveland-area teams, so I’m a bit confused as to why Crankshaft’s vitriolic screed today focuses only on “our football team,” Herb and Jamaal-style. Is the strip under pressure from the syndicate to somehow be more “universal” and “relatable”? Can’t readers across the country think of at least one angry, unpleasant old man that they hate, without needing to imagine that he’s raging about their football team in particular?

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Mark Trail, 11/6/10

Mark Trail generally doesn’t do cliffhangers per se, preferring to let its narrative unspool in a steady, undifferentiated flow of lunacy. But this Saturday strip is enough to get even those sad souls who don’t spend their weekends thinking about Mark Trail eager for Monday’s installment. Future Governor Frank’s 100 percent foolproof scheme to run Mark off the road to his death, an act which nobody could possibly trace back to him unless they thought about what’s happened in this plot so far for more than two or three seconds, seems to have hit a snag. But what could it be that’s elicited such a mega-bolded WHAT TH’– from our crafty politician? Could Mark’s car be sprouting a protective fist of justice, hurtling out of the front grill so powerfully that not even Frank’s half-ton truck will survive impact?

Dennis the Menace, 11/6/10

By promoting the so-called “Daylight Savings Time” that the secret One World Government has imposed upon us to crush free societies everywhere, Dennis has achieved his highest levels of menace yet.