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Crock, 11/3/23

A fun dynamic on this blog is that if I ever post anything to the effect of “Wow, this really makes no sense whatsoever, who on earth would do this/talk like this,” I will inevitably get at least one comment to the effect of, “Huh, Josh, actually if you weren’t a stupid American/coastal elitist/weirdo shut-in/feckless youth/cranky old man you would know that this is in fact very normal behavior, can’t believe you’re publicly embarrassing yourself like this.” But you know what, I don’t care, I don’t believe that anyone has reacted to the information that someone has bought a Harley-Davidson and the first thing they ask is what size Harley was purchased. I don’t believe it! There are many different model families of Harley and, it’s true, they do vary significantly by size, but I still don’t think that’s how you’d approach the question of finding out what kind of Harley your aged mother is has bought with her bingo winnings. Sorry! Roast me for saying this if you will! I gotta speak my truth!

Gil Thorp, 11/3/23

Say what you will about the comics as a medium, but if a TV show wanted to have a couple of of-the-moment superstars as guests, there would be tortuous negotiations and a lot of money changing hands, whereas a comic strip can just draw ’em and have them say whatever crazy shit you want. And since they’re public figures, they can’t even sue! Probably. “Hey, wasn’t this strip about vampires or something just a couple days ago,” you’re no doubt asking, and the answer is: no, wrong, that was a dream sequence, as opposed to today’s strip, where all the football players have hearts floating over their heads, which is definitely happening in real life.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/2/23

Oh, fine, I guess Buzzy and Mud aren’t boxing Rene out of the profits from his own brainwashing scam, or are at least using a stock photo of him as part of the sales pitch. You can’t profit off your crimes, but nothing about the Mirakle Method itself was criminal: it’s not illegal to transform someone’s personality to the extent that he refuses to perform “Muddy Boots” for a theater full of roots country maniacs, though that may change if the bipartisan Play The Hits Act finally passes through Congress this year.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/2/23

Speaking of criminality, it’s always important to remember that Snuffy has done some really nasty stuff, things that would result in nationwide calls for his immediate arrest and execution if they were ever known to the public.

Mary Worth, 11/2/23

“Why was may attempt to conquer and occupy these women with deadly force repulsed? Was there a problem with our tactical execution? Were the strategies handed down from the officer corps inadequate? Or have I once again been betrayed by the politicians in Washington who aren’t fully committed to the mission?”

Hi and Lois, 11/2/23

Oh, is your kid’s little darndest-thing-saying making you world-weary there, Hi? Maybe you should do some self-reflection about why he’s more familiar with a slot machine than a bank.

Marvin, 11/2/23

I’m sure literally nobody out there has been wondering how Marvin’s grandfather’s friend’s marriage is going, but I’m here to tell you anyway: It’s not going well! It’s not going well at all.

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The Lockhorns, 11/1/23

This has, from the very beginning, been a pro-Lockhorns blog, but I really feel like this strip has kicked it up a notch in recent years, managing to simultaneously feel timeless but also contemporary. The Lockhorns of yore might’ve been uncomfortable with our nation’s increasing ethnic diversity. But 2023’s Lockhorns live in a Nassau County that’s 18% Latino, and seamlessly reference their neighbors’ rich cultural heritage as they passive-aggressively destroy one another for the benefit of anyone who will listen.

Hi and Lois, 11/1/23

Imagine if you were, after decades as a stunted infant, finally beginning to illustrate signs of physical growth, only to realize that it was just part of your Creators trying to establish that you live in a cross-property Cinematic Universe! It’d be pretty depressing, I bet.