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Gil Thorp, 6/4/09

I’ll say this about the current Gil Thorp storyline: it’s managed, with a certain degree of skill, to keep you guessing as to what it’s about. With each new incident, it becomes clear that its dramatic ambit is wider than you think. It’s not just about dumb YouTube antics or underage drinking or Facebook or wacky locker-room pranks. At this point, the theme appears to be that teenagers are goofballs who make stupid decisions, and maybe you don’t want to create an electronic record of those decisions? (Though who knows, perhaps by next week the only unifying thread will be “all mortal existence is folly.”) Obviously that cell-phone photo of Molly will soon be circulated from giggling loser to giggling loser around the school, and she’ll be humiliated because there’s absolutely nothing more embarrassing than a picture of you hanging out with a bunch of your female friends in a not-particularly-revealing cardboard bikini. Molly will have no choice but to become a nun after the soft-carton-drink-bikini-sexting that’s about to ensue here. If only she’d learned from her incredibly dull boyfriend to avoid rowdiness at all costs!

My favorite person in this strip is actually the gal in the background in panel two, soaking up the imaginary approbation. “Yes, I helped fashion a pointless, non-functional bathing suit out of soda can boxes! Look at me, I’m just like Jesus!”

Mark Trail, 6/4/09

Wait, Mark couldn’t read the name of the company on the barrels when he was, you know, standing right in front of them, taking pictures of them, but he can read it now that he’s back at home and looking at the developed photos? Is he so committed to being a rugged outdoorsmen that, while out of doors, he refuses to display any non-rugged qualities, like literacy?

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Hey, everybody, I had to upgrade the old forum site to a new version of the software, which involved a semi-tricky upgrade and a new URL. Fortunately, I was able to move all the old discussions and users over to the new site, which you can find here. (Going to the old URL will just redirect you to this one, now.) You’ll need to re-log-in again, but your current username and password should still work.

One feature that has not been enabled on the new forums site is personal messaging. This has less to do with the forum software than my server; I had to turn off the automatic mail server (which is what the forum software uses to send out personal messages) because it was just getting overwhelmed by spam.

I’ve changed the settings on this new site so that people can now sign themselves up for user accounts without waiting for my approval. So, if you’ve been waiting for me to sign you up, just click on that link above and do it yourself! I think I’ve figured out a way to do this without attracting spammers, but I do ask for forum users to be extra vigilant about people posting nasty spam messages! Please email me ASAP at bio at jfruh dot com if you spot any.

UPDATE: Yeah, so that open registration thing didn’t really work out. Email me at bio at jfruh dot com if you want to register for a new account. As noted, if you had an account on the old forum, it should still work. Sorry to tease!

Also, in unrelated news, that article I wrote about terrible pet projects is now up! Thanks to several faithful readers for supplying funny anecdotes.

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B.C., 6/3/09

Part of being a smug jerk on the Internet who makes fun of other people’s life work is never having to say you’re sorry, but I do feel like I need to mildly backtrack on the issue of B.C. I still believe quite firmly in the principle that comic strips should die or retire with their creators; but we won’t be living in such a perfect world any time soon, and I do have to say that over the last two years the new post-Johnny Hart B.C. has gone from terrible to kind of amusing, in a new and goofy way. I admit to being actively tickled by today’s installment, not so much because of the “turtle sexual harassment and retaliatory violence” angle, but because of it implies that turtle sex involves a dude turtle slipping out of his own shell and into the lady turtle’s shell. Which is anatomically laughable, of course, but can you visualize how turtles do it? A recent visit to the awesome Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum did acquaint me with this legitimate educational display, but I still have questions. (Warning: that second link may not be safe for work, if your workplace is uptight about turtle sex.)

Mary Worth, 6/3/09

Well, it looks like Adrian is safely paired off with the son of the one man her father ever loved, which should make for a blissfully perfect life partnership marred only by occasional awkwardly overenthusiastic Christmas visits. Now we’re moving to the next plot, which begins as a young woman phones Mary to tell her that she’s “taking a break” from her marriage. Rather than use the opportunity to get drunk a lot and bed innumerable younger men, this lunatic has decided to spend her newly single days living with Mary Worth, whom she considers to be “like a mother.” Based on the past several years of reading this strip, Mary is the kind of mother who never calls or even mentions this poor girl, but that doesn’t stop her from reacting to the prospect of a hapless meddlee coming to live her with the kind of blissed-out facial expression normally only possible with the aid of powerful, mood-altering narcotics.

As the leaves around our squirrelly friend in panel one indicate, beautiful late spring has come to Santa Royale, which means that the new victim’s introduction to Charterstone can take one form and one form only: pool party. Seriously, I don’t think we’ve seen a wonderful Santa Royale pool party since, what, Mary’s terribly misguided attempt to set up Dr. Drew and Vera? FAR TOO LONG. No pool party, no peace!

Cathy, 6/3/09

36 months after the innovator (They’ll Do It Every Time, of blessed memory) and 33 months after the laggard (Curtis), Cathy finally catches on to the one fail-safe comedy gold comics trope: jeans that are brand new, but look all beat up! Ha ha! Mercy!

Apartment 3-G, 6/3/09

“You know, like you, who bullies and ignores me by turns! Or what’s-her-name, the blonde, who left the state months ago and I haven’t talked to since! And … uh … you know, maybe I should rethink this.”