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Shoe, 10/26/08

Sunday’s Shoe has discovered the ultimate recipe for hilarity: have a bunch of characters, most of whom you’ve never met before and have no attachment to, sitting around telling tedious jokes about how boring they are. In the gut-busting climax, the Perfesser tells a joke that’s both boring and ancient; ironically, the syndicate seems to have demanded that the awkward phrase “in eminent danger” replace the more obvious and straightforward “dying,” thus making the gag even duller.

By the way, I shaved the initial panels off of the shockingly huge Sunday Shoe graphic, because they were even less interesting than the ones you see here.

Mary Worth, 10/26/08

Speaking as a connoisseur, this is an extremely satisfying Mary Worth, combining as it does fan favorites (random, rambling platitude-laden thought ballooning) and exciting new elements (laughable fantasy skating action). Mary’s “ocean wave” riff is echoed by the oddly shaped clouds out her window; it’s possible that those are actual ocean waves, and her plane is about to plow into the sea and deliver her to her watery grave, but that’s probably asking too much.

Slylock Fox, 10/26/08

I actually agree that Rachel Rabbit’s accusation is ridiculous. It’s obvious that any attempt on Reeky’s part at electrical work more complex than plugging in a hot plate would result in his immediate painful and high-voltage death.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/26/08

Yes, of course he is, dear.

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Mary Worth, 10/25/08

Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary — sure, this is all very good fun, but any pretense that you’re rewarding Dr. Jeff’s inexplicable devotion to you with anything but mind games has now gone right out the window. The subtle reminder in the second panel about all the oral sex he’s not getting is a nice touch, I have to admit.

Gil Thorp, 10/25/08

Wow, no sooner did I mention Milford alum Von Haney and his occasional triumphal return to his old stomping grounds than Von himself actually appeared in the strip! I had forgotten the most hilarious aspect of the Von story, which is that he actually got into Yale. Yale! From reading the strip, you’d doubt whether the IQ and/or SAT scores of all of the characters in Gil Thorp put together could garner admission into a third-tier state university, but there Von and Nick are, Ivy-ing it up. Of course, they did ultimately decide not to go back to see their idiot friends for homecoming, so maybe they’re smarter than they look.

Kudos to Rod Whigham to making Von’s hair even more ludicrous than its earlier incarnation, but the less said about Nick Zollar’s knuckles, the better.

Mark Trail, 10/26/08

Bizarrely, Mark Trail seems to be trying to actually portray a semi-intelligent discussion about balancing the needs for development against the value of environmental protection. Too bad it’s in the context of Sue attempting to get into Mark’s pants for some hot, sandy beach-sex. And speaking of pants, Mark seems to be dimly aware of the romantic possibilities here to the extent that he’s jettisoned his usual all-tan outfit, pairing his everyday tan shirt with some nice grey slacks that match not at all.

All these political, sexual, and fashion-related questions will of course be moot once the savage mutant seagulls attack.

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Family Circus, 10/24/08

So, the constant mental and emotional abuse of Jeffy has been a long-standing theme of this strip, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that his physical abuse is starting to come to the fore. Attempts to shut him up by doping him up — “Mommy says that if I take all these pills, I won’t feel anything anymore!” — are doomed to failure, as nothing can stop Jeffy’s relentlessly adorable malapropisms. This thing’s only going to get uglier, with either Ma and Pa Keane dragged off to jail, or Jeffy burning the house down, then blaming his vengeance on “Ida Know”.

Mary Worth, 10/24/08

Having been browbeaten by Mary into not visiting his beloved son Drew in Vietnam (where, I might add, Drew is doing the charity work that his father wants to be doing), Dr. Jeff is trying to salvage some pretense of autonomy by blaming his homebody ways on his bad knees, which I’m reasonably sure have never once been mentioned in this strip to this point (though there is a cane floating aimlessly next to him in panel one). Mary then mocks him by claiming that going through airport security is just sooooo irritating; it’s almost as bad as having pretend knee arthritis! The truth is that kindly old lady Mary always breezes through the security lines, with the TSA none the wiser about all the heroin she keeps tucked into the waistband of her support hose.

Apartment 3-G, 10/24/08

Noooo Margo, you’re beginning to feel empathy for another human being! Admittedly, it’s a dead human being, but that’s how it starts. You need to gulp down some of that ink-black soul-destroying devil’s milk, before it’s too late!

Shoe, 10/24/08

This is today’s Shoe. It’s about urinating on things!