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Family Circus, 2/17/08

Everything those fussbudgets who testified before Congress in the 1950s about the evils of the comics industry and how the comics were rotting the tiny brains of America’s youth said was true, because I used to be a pretty smart guy who got a graduate degree in a useless, esoteric subject and now after three and a half years of doing this blog I apparently can’t even figure out the freaking Family Circus. Why did Billy’s hideous multihued plaid shirt earn the unwelcome attention of his teachers? Since they surely haven’t bothered to learn the names of their interchangeable moppet charges, you’d think they’d probably call on kids by saying “Hey, you in the blue” or the like, and would rather pass the eldest Keane kid over rather than hazard a guess at what to call that monstrosity of a garment. It’s possible that someone on the faculty is epileptic, and when Billy says he was “called on” he merely means that he was ordered to cover up lest he induce a seizure.

Mary Worth, 2/17/08

“If you want to resolve this permanently, Drew, why don’t you just go straight to hell? You’ll wish you did, after hearing my advice!”

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OK, I’m behind by a day (I blame friends coming in from out of town for the holiday weekend) but before I do the Sunday strips and the Monday strips and the COTWs, I need to make public a shocking personnel change (and thanks to several faithful readers for the tip). As I noted earlier, previous evidence indicated that Gil Thorp was in the market for a new artist. Today the artist they’ve settled on was revealed, and it was … Frank Bolle, the current artist of Apartment 3-G! No, really:

Gil Thorp, 2/18/08

If anyone has any kind of insider scoop on this somewhat surprising move that they’d like to share, feel free to e-mail me. And for everyone who thought that, under a new artist, we’d finally be able to tell the characters in Gil Thorp apart, I say: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

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Apartment 3-G, 2/16/08

Rainy day fun activity: Stage a reading of this Apartment 3-G, doing all of Alan’s lines in a comical, overblown cartoon drunk voice. Endless amusement for the whole family!

Beetle Bailey, 2/16/08

A touching and amusing domestic scene at home with the Snorkel-Baileys!

Marmaduke, 2/16/08

Marmaduke has ruled his neighborhood like an angry and vengeful god for so long that the neighbors pass the time between maulings by coming up with philosophical questions about his near-omnipotence.

Pluggers, 2/16/07

Pluggers are so wholly sedentary that if they quietly died, it would take hours for anyone to notice.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/16/08

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH