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Cathy, 2/26/07

So. Um. Here goes:

I actually … sort of … found Cathy funny today.

I mean … not hilarious or anything, but … I actually laughed. Well, “laughed” is a strong word. Strictly speaking, I exhaled out my nose a little harder than usual. Still and all, I need help. I know it.

Apartment 3-G, 2/26/05

I didn’t cover Sunday’s Apartment 3-G, mostly because I don’t think it’s particularly cool when comics encourage kids to do drugs. But now that I’ve seen Monday’s strip, I have to say that it’s one of the more egregious instances of content recycling in recent memory:

Apartment 3-G, 2/25/07

I know that the soap opera strips have to spend Monday recapping Sunday because not everyone gets to see the Sunday strip, but this week Apartment 3-G seems to have mainly tweaked the dialogue and taken out the Margo panels. And is removing Margo from an installment of Apartment 3-G ever a good idea? No, no it is not. You could show three panels of Margo reading the newspaper and sneering at no one in particular and it would be more gripping than anything that ever happened to Tommie.

Blondie, 2/26/07

There are so many layers of insanity to this strip that I barely know how to approach it. Do the police ever ticket drivers for excessive musical volume? Does Dagwood labor under the assumption that the theme from Bondanza can never be played too loudly? Was he sitting at a stoplight, his subwoofers causing all the cars around him to vibrate, only instead of blaring Master P as God intended, he instead treated the world to that all-too-familiar “dun da duh dun da duh dun da duh dun da DAHH DAHHHH”? Still, what disturbs me the most is that somewhere out there in Blondie land, there’s a radio station dedicated to classic TV theme songs. I’ve been telling people for years that the 517 different channels available on satellite radio will eventually destroy all that’s decent about our society; maybe someone will finally listen to me now.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 2/26/07

“How it is dept.: Libertariana and Rando are sick of their taxes being used to fund city schools and parks for poor people, so they move into a condo complex that keeps the proles out. But howzat? Homeowners Associations can also force you to pay for improvements for the common good? OH YEAH!!!” I’m surprised the acknowledgment line didn’t read “Anita and Sol, Unnamed Heavily Armed Encampment, Somewhere in Montana.”

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If you spend your free time shoehorning innuendo into perfectly innocent Rex Morgan, M.D., dialogue, do you end up an emotional cripple who reacts to everything in the world at the emotional level of an eleven-year-old? Based on the junior-high-esque giggle fit into which I was sent by the flyer below, which I found tucked into my mail slot this morning, I’d have to say that the answer is “yes.” (I added the circles for emphasis.)

Anyway, I felt I had to share this with all of you, since you’re the only ones who’d understand. Most people, I’d just show it to them and they’d say, “I don’t understand. You don’t even have a garage.” And then I’d laugh some more.

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Hi kids! It’s that Sunday treat you all crave … the comments of the week! Here’s this week’s top performer:

“Hey, Dr. Jeff, could you elaborate a little on this Agent Orange thingy? Was it a good thing or a bad thing?” –Weasel Boy

And the others of the most hilarious:

“And MW is cranking along nicely, I see. I especially like Saturday’s. ‘So Jeff, tell me about the children … were they tasty?’” –lesles

“Are only Americans allowed to leave Vietnam? From the passengers in that plane it looks like they just left Salt Lake City.” –reader-who-posts

“All I want to know is: Where exactly is he hiding that sack full of carrots? … No, wait, nix that. No I don’t.” –JamesK

“The more I’m exposed to Slylock ‘Pound of Flesh’ Fox, the more convinced I am that it is an exercise designed to teach children that life is not fair, consistent, nor just.” –Pelagius

“‘I hope Andy doesn’t start barking!’ ‘I hope the tranquilizer I put in Andy’s snack works!’ ‘I hope old Mark Doesn’t figure out what I did until Sally and I are out of the country!’ ‘I just have to be careful not to leave any evidence behind!’ ‘I dread getting in the cold water!’ For a con artist (short for ‘confidence artist’, I might add), this guy is totally devoid of any confidence in his plan.” –Suburban Legend

“FW: Don’t worry, they’ll be able to distinguish between you and your son because you’ll be referred to as the ‘late Wally.'” –Caged Tygre

“Whenever someone says that kids today have it too easy, just show them the impossible-to-solve Slylock Fox.” –AppleGirl

“The plot sickens! Gil Thorp, Man Detective!” –Marion Delgado

“The idea of The Family Circus using the phrase ‘a whole line of’ anything is almost too tantalizing to pass up. I will, though.” –Joe

“At some point, I expect to see the following Slylock Fox answer: ‘Because he just had a hunch, okay? Slylock then proceeded to beat the suspect with a sock full of pennies until he got a confession.'” –Steve S

“And by the way, Tommie is provocatively dressed today. Her entire neck is visible. Me likey!” –PeteMoss

“‘Cleaning the garage’ seems like such an ugly euphemism for this tender moment between a juvenile delinquent and a married nurse. I think they should have gone with something more subtle and tasteful like ‘lapsnorkeling.'” –Monkeys Uncle

“I’ve found a way to remember who R.J. is in Gil Thorp: when I see him I think of ‘R. J. Reynolds’ because his head looks like a pack of cigarettes.” –gh

“(DT)GT: Well, the look on R.J. Brennan’s face in panel two says it all. I don’t know what it’s saying, since I’m not a misshapen alien from a nearby planet, but it’s certainly saying it loud.” –Craigers

“Is that blonde woman sitting behind Mary and Dr. Jeff a terrorist? Because if she isn’t, she will be by the end of the flight.” –gkl

“Dan’s plan seems to involve him getting nude outside a lot. My kind of plan.” –Tukla in Iowa

“This topical episode would be cutting edge in most nonpolitical strips, but in Funky? My only surprise is that it was topical at all. In the Funky-verse, he was just as likely to get maimed by a toaster or have a drunk driver plow through his wall and squash him in bed.” –Vex the Sane

“I’m glad FW is finally providing just what my comics page needed: entrails. –Tracer Bullet

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