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Beetle Bailey, 11/13/22

This is an actually pretty good Beetle Bailey, in my opinion. It uses the longer Sunday format to interesting effect: taking what should be a sharp shock — an NCO plans to set a vicious dog onto one of the soldiers under his command in a grotesque abuse of power — and smooths it down into rambling day in the life story about the dog. He doesn’t want to do any harm. His heart’s not in it. It’s just a job, really. But never let it be said that he won’t do his job.

Mary Worth, 11/13/22

Mary seems pretty eager for gossip — “So, changed your mind about any marriage proposals after your boyfriend almost died in the stupidest way possible lately?” — but frankly Iris has been checked out from the Charterstone buzz factory so much lately that Mary’s probably not even up to speed enough to wonder about that. I’m guessing she’s actually angling for more info on whatever “items” Iris just dropped off for Tommy. The California electorate may have decided that citizens are allowed to smoke whatever they want, but the Charterstone condo board still has some standards.

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Beetle Bailey, 11/12/22

Holy shit! It’s Keith Haring, back from the dead and painting a mural on the outside of the Halftracks’ house! I’m not sure what the General is so upset about, as this is about to immediately make their home an incredibly valuable work of art. On the other hand, there’s no way he can actually see any of the outside of the house from where he’s standing, so maybe he’s upset about something unrelated, like ghost Keith Haring’s parking job or something.

Family Circus, 11/12/22

I honestly find Lenny’s overall attitude very funny. “It’s nothing personal, sir, I just think vibes are off in here.”

The Lockhorns, 11/12/22

By far the funniest thing about this panel is that there’s a fairly elaborate birthday party in progress, complete with a cake and a sign and a party hat, and there are no other guests, just Leroy and Loretta, who don’t even really like each other. I can’t decide if Leroy planned this whole thing just so he could do this leaf blower gag, or if inspiration struck him just in the nick of time.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/12/22

I’m really enjoying the tension playing across Rex’s face here in panel two. Like on the one hand, he likes it when doctors’ position of preeminence in society is reinforced in spectacular fashion in front of an appreciative crowd, but on the other he finds doing stuff extremely annoying.

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Oh look, it’s your comment of the week! Right here!

“Deep in the Algerian desert, the countdown for Gerboise Bleue nears zéro. The range safety officer peers through binoculars into the shimmering heat, his hands slick with sweat and fear, as the ferocious Sun rises, not knowing that today it would have a twin on Earth. Was there something new there, near the shot tower? Mon Dieu, he realizes, a Bedouin tent! He toggles his radio to call off the test when the Sun’s frère blooms down range. Poor bastards, he thinks as he dives into his trench. At least they died rapidement. One can only hope they were making love, and not arguing about toilettes.” –Voshkod

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I think the big news here is that evidently Not Me and Ida Know split up.” –Pozzo

“Life imprisonment without court martial might seem like a harsh punishment during peacetime, but the defense of the nation can allow no tolerance for ventriloquism.” –jroggs

“Today’s entry is a reminder in case any of the readers thought the Chix were living large off this strip.” –Hibbleton

“You must admit, ‘I wish it was still the 1970’s!’ is pretty much the mission statement of the newspaper comics industry. This will be clipped and placed on as many as a dozen refrigerators around the country.” –pastordan

“Look. I’ll be the one to point out that Iris didn’t accept Zak’s proposal in the heady emotional rush of a brush with death, she did so hours later, in bed. Zak has a very specific value-add in this relationship, and I’m not saying it can’t be the basis for a long and mutually fulfilling life of wedded bliss, I’m just saying if you want the white rice with hamburger gravy to keep coming, you’d better time the request right buddy.” –Dan

“We make such a great team! Your strength is falling off cliffs, and mine is eventually, reluctantly pulling you up. We’ll be unstoppable!” –Violet

“I like how we don’t see actually see Zak in today’s strip, leaving open the possibility that a delirious Iris is play-acting a misguided proposal fantasy, voice modulation and all. Meanwhile, the real Zak is at home, trying to change a lightbulb while standing atop a blender.” –Irrischana

“I had a tough time figuring out what was going on in panel 2. Then I realized that linebacker Nick was such a wildman that all he knew was ‘BALL … KILL’ and was tackling his own teammates.” –Inspector Gotcha

“As the midterm elections come to a close, Americans are divided now more than ever. But today’s Beetle Bailey shows us how two different groups can work together towards compromise, so that each gets something they want. Humorists get to poke fun of the slow, painful death of Print Media, while the old, horny men employed by Print Media score a panel of General Halftrack looming over a prostrate Miss Buxley.” –Carsick Yankee

“Yeah, I’m sure that Mr Mountain is about to have a massive coronary, but I think this scene reads much funnier if you imagine that he’s been caught in a massive lie about being a country singer. ‘Ok folks just a minute … one second … j-just tuning up here … OH WOW IS THAT MERLE HAGGARD SITTING AT THE BAR?’ [leaps off stage and through a fire exit]” –pugfuggly

“What if Mud has crippling anxiety that has caused his career to self-destruct, and he self-medicates with food? I mean, he can still shit himself — you gotta give the people what they want — I just think coronary has been done to death.” –Old School Allie Cat

“Things to do? Lists to make? People to contact? That’s funny, the same would’ve been the case for Zak’s funeral, had Iris been unable to save him. Damn it, there’s just no getting away from these fancy events, is there?” –made of wince

“In idle moments, Iris and Zak can amuse themselves by trying to think of yet more ways to work the words ‘usual’ and ‘upcoming’ into their conversations. ‘Upcoming’ is a funny word, isn’t it? If one of them is about to barf, they can use it as a warning: ‘Upcoming!’” –Peanut Gallery

“‘Mr. Wilson does live in this vicinity, but where? To learn that you must solve my series of ever more fiendish riddles…’ ‘I’ll try next door.’” –Anonymous (but not that one)

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