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Six Chix, 5/24/06

Yeah, so this makes all kinds of no sense. I suppose it’s supposed to be a play on the metaphorical and literal meanings of the phrase “horn blowing,” but … but … but. I want to believe that this isn’t just totally insane, but I just can’t figure out how. Help. Please.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 5/24/06

Fun new phrase to try to deploy in everyday life: “Pretzel Playroom.” Fun new name to suggest to expectant parents as a substitute for “Taylor” or “Devlin”: “Arfo.”

Beetle Bailey, 5/24/06

Question: Was the dashing police officer sexually attracted to Miss Buxley … or to her sexy, sexy car? Also, note that said sexy, sexy car has some pimpin’ rims, to the extent that the universe of Beetle Bailey can accommodate the concept of “pimpin’ rims.” Also also, I know that it’s probably a goof-up among the coloring monkeys, but I’d like to think that Miss Blips’ hair is suddenly blonde because she’s desperate to find out if blondes really do have more fun. (Did you know that her name was Miss Blips? I had to look it up. Yes, it’s a reference to her tiny breasts — they’re just “blips on the radar screen” compared to Miss Buxley’s — which no doubt means that the dye job won’t help.)

In cockroach news, after a bout of judicious insecticide spraying and a thorough mopping of the cat floor area to eliminate scent trails, I awoke to a roach-free cat dish this morning. Hopefully they aren’t marshaling their forces for some sort of counterattack.

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Dilbert, 5/23/06

Panel one: Trademark minimalist Dilbert art, straight on. Panel two: Trademark minimalist Dilbert art, at a 30 degree angle. Panel three: Trademark minimalist Dilbert art, through a window. Conclusion: You can dress these drawings up, but you can’t really take them out.

Herb and Jamaal, 5/23/06

For everybody’s who’s been waiting since 1971 for Herb and Jamaal’s take on glam rock-inspired androgyny: at long last, your day has arrived. Note cunning use of passive voice in punchline, maintaining the mystery for all of us, for some mysterious and unfunny reason.

Marvin, 5/23/06

Marvin has spent the last week and half lingering on a “Marvin’s grandfather has become obsessed with Sudoku” storyline so mind-warpingly boring that it makes Gasoline Alley’s DMV-a-thon look like the car chase scene in the French Connection by comparison. (The game has been referred to as “Yunoklu” throughout; I imagine that the reasons for this are trademark-related, because they certainly can’t be humor-related.) Today’s episode does have a glimmer of interest, however, in that blind panic has turned one (and only one) of Grandpa’s glasses lenses blue. If you can explain this, you’re a better comics-explainer than I.

Momma, 5/23/06

Hmm, there’s some odd quoting going on here: “Show biz” is quoted when Momma says it, but not when Francis does. I wonder what Finger Quotin’ Margo thinks of that?

Damn, girl, that’s cold.

Cockroach update: Another freakishly huge representative of order Blattodea in the cat’s dish this morning, leading to a humiliating repeat of yesterday’s pathetic drama. That’s twice in two days; in the 36 months of the food bowl sitting in that exact spot, it had only happened once before that. Are the roaches getting smarter? Are they plotting to rise up against us? I’m disturbed. Anyone have any bright ideas on roach control?

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Get Fuzzy, 5/22/06

This strip illustrates both why I love Get Fuzzy and why it’s hard to explain to those who don’t love Get Fuzzy why I love Get Fuzzy. The punchline is a pun, and like even the best of its ilk, is deeply groanworthy. But Bucky’s pun-setup dialogue in panel two is just hilarious to me. I love the rhythm of the sentence: “Lemme tell ya, Pinky, if you don’t have a comfy place to sit, you can just walk right on by the ol’ Russian Lit section.” But if it doesn’t strike you as funny, then there’s no way to make you love it, I suppose.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/22/06

“Yeah, it’s June alright … she’s attached a gadget to my genitals that starts beeping whenever I’m sexually attracted to another man. Damn this stifling heterosexual facade!”