Post Content

Mary Worth, 3/6/23

I have been a Star Trek dork since I was a wee lad in the early ’80s, and one of great joys of having lived as long as I have is that I have now lived through multiple instances of whoever the Star Trek IP rights holder was at the time saying “Oh, remember Star Trek? The thing you thought we were never going to make any more of? Well, guess what: we’ve decided to make more of it. Enjoy!” Anyway, the current set of shows, which I will watch every episode of because I’m a huge slut for Star Trek, are something of mixed bag, just like every other iteration of the franchise has been, but I have to say that my biggest gripe about them is that they follow the modern-day arc-driven 10-to-12 episode season format, which basically means every episode is almost entirely about the overall season plot. This means that there’s no room for episodes like “Kirk and Spock go undercover on Planet Al Capone” or “Dr. Crusher hooks up with a ghost” or “The DS9 gang challenges some Vulcans to a baseball game,” which were never anybody’s idea of the “best” episodes at the time but which anyone who was watching then looks back on with great fondness.

Anyway, this all has a lot to do with the shifting economics of television (and I’m also pleased to say that Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks manage to do classic standalone episodes to a certain extent), but weirdly I feel like a similar shift has happened to another franchise that I will never stop being a fan of no matter what, which is to say Mary Worth, despite the fact that nothing about the structure of the soap opera comic strip has changed in years. But we’ve gotten so used to the storylines all being about core-cast-adjacent characters (mostly Wilbur and women who for reasons nobody can explain have sex with Wilbur, let’s be honest here) that we forget that a lot of our most beloved plots used to be about one-off grandstanding oddball characters who would come and go, people with sibling inheritance problems and shopping addictions and ill-advised flirtations with erotic art collectors and such. So I personally would be pretty psyched if this current storyline was less “What’s up with Wilbur’s ex’s love life” and more “How can this uncle/nephew veteranarian team overcome unfair Yelp reviews?”

Dennis the Menace, 3/6/23

OK, I’ll admit it: it’s pretty menacing to make a big mess when you have guests over and then immediately say “Clean up my mess? That mess happened in the past, Gina. The past! I’m moving forward, not backwards! Why are you dwelling on this?”

Shoe, 3/6/23

Now that marijuana is legal-ish in most of the U.S., even the core Shoe demographic is ready for jokes about it! That doesn’t mean that they would recognize the names of more than one famous person who enjoys using cannabis recreationally, however.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 3/5/23

Ah, it looks like Estelle is finally coming to the conclusion that it’s not that she has bad taste in men, exactly, it’s just that she can’t afford to make any one man her be-all and end-all. Looks like she’s going to explore ethical non-monogamy and rely on each of her suitors for what they do best: Ed, when she wants to be with someone who’s handsome and charismatic and a good kisser; Wilbur, when she wants someone who’s available at all times because he doesn’t have much of a social life or even a real job; and Arthur, for … phone sex? As a skilled romance-scam artist targeting the elderly over the phone, Arthur was good as phone sex, probably?

Gasoline Alley, 3/5/23

As America’s last living veteran of World War I, Walt could probably give Gertie a pretty good explanation of what hyperinflation is like, since he was actually around for the last serious bout of it in the Western world. Unfortunately, Gertie made the mistake of saying “shell shock” in the final panel, so she’s going to be dealing with his PTSD all afternoon instead.

Marvin, 3/5/23

What would Jeff’s prize have been if he had won this staring contest? That Bitsy would agree to pee in the house? I know the Millers are trapped in a unending hell of poop and piss, but I’m beginning to suspect it might be at least a little their fault.

Post Content

Crock, 3/4/23

Hmm, looks like Maggot has bailed on his marital counseling session and now it’s just Grossie pouring her heart out to some dude in a cave. Anyway, do you think when you’re writing a strip like today’s, you pause a moment and think “Wow, I really named a guy ‘Maggot,’ which is also a thing that in some cultures people actually eat, sometimes dipped in chocolate?” Or are you just very, very invested at this point in the idea that “Maggot” is literally a name that a person could have?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/4/23

Speaking of which, to what extent do the writers of Barney Google and Snuffy Smith think of themselves as writing an ongoing satire of poor people living in Appalachia and/or the Ozarks? Or have they mostly forgotten it and are just working with long-memorized character designs and orthographic conventions? Because in the former case today’s strip has the vibe of “Ha ha, I’m really sticking it to these hillbilly moochers” whereas in the latter case it seems like the much gentler and frankly accurate “Ha ha, people want government services but don’t want to pay the taxes that fund them, amiright people????”

Six Chix, 3/4/23

“I also carry them around with me, which forced me to eventually stop reading altogether. Books are very heavy!”