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Daddy Daze, 5/13/24

One of the most fascinating and bonkers “big ideas” books of the ’70s was The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind, which posited that before about 800 BC, human beings weren’t “conscious” in the way that we now understand it and were not capable of introspection, but instead perceived decisions formed in one part of their mind as hearing “commands” from a “god” telling them what to do. While I do not actually believe this theory as an explanation for human consciousness and the beginning of civilization as we know it, I do think it explains what’s going on in Daddy Daze, as the Daddy Daze daddy engages in an endless series of unhinged philosophical discussions with his “infant son” (actually the other hemisphere of his bicameral mind, which rather than guiding him instead torments him with a series of playfully deranged falsehoods).

Alice, 5/13/24

Ruh-oh! Looks like those aliens have successfully kidnapped Alice and trapped her in a featureless, silent void. Realizing that their captive needs some sensory stimulation, they’ve decided to let loose with a little “swing”! (“Swing Music”: A musical style that was popular from the late 1920s – 1940s, big thanks to the King Features editorial intervention that explains the least confusing thing about this entire comic.)

Arctic Circle, 5/13/24

That sky is bright blue and it’s clear the sun is out. That poor vampire you woke up is going to vaporize in mere seconds! You monsters!

Mary Worth, 5/13/24

Guess we need to rephrase this: time to eat Stellan and Willa!

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Hi and Lois, 5/12/24

The “joke” of today’s strip is that the Flagston children have announced that their mother now has to share Mother’s Day with their father, and that their father will not be receiving any recognition on Father’s Day next month at all. And the adults are just sitting there smiling about it! Have some self-respect and stand up for yourselves, you two! I know you’re outnumbered by the children, but one of them is a literal baby, I think you still have the advantage.

Beetle Bailey, 5/12/24

Beetle Bailey fans, of course, delight at strips where Sarge uses kinetic violence to reduce Beetle to an unrecognizable and mangled pile of flesh, but as today’s strip demonstrates, they would be horrified at the thought of Sarge poisoning Beetle and need to be reassured that he is being sprayed with only “toxin-free” chemicals. In this sense, and in this sense only, Beetle Bailey is very much like modern combat, as governed by the 1925 Geneva Protocol for the Prohibition of the Use in War of Asphyxiating, Poisonous or other Gases, and of Bacteriological Methods of Warfare.

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Blondie, 5/11/24

Look, obviously saying anything against mothers and motherhood is a swift ticket to getting abruptly cancelled — and rightfully so! [laughs nervously] — but I refuse to believe “mom’s week” is a thing, even if you use the not-actual-Mothers-Day part of the week to make a nice gesture to the non-relative woman whose house you spend all your time in for ill-defined and probably not great reasons. It’s long been clear that a substantial portion of Blondie gags are generated by a big calendar with all the holidays on it, and today’s strip shows how reliant the writers are on this crutch, with the daily strip crew refusing to cede Mothers Day to the Sunday writers room.

Gasoline Alley, 5/11/24

“I looked, and there were four wheels beside the cherubim, one beside each cherub, and the appearance of the wheels was like gleaming beryl. And as for their appearance, the four looked alike, something like a wheel within a wheel. When they moved, they moved in any of the four directions without veering as they moved, but in whatever direction the front wheel faced, the others followed without veering as they moved. Their entire bodies — backs, hands, and wings — were covered with eyes all around, as were the wheels of the four of them. As for the wheels, they were called in my hearing the wheelwork. Each one had four faces: the first face was that of the cherub, the second face was that of a human, the third that of a lion, and the fourth that of an eagle. The cherubim rose up. These were the living creatures that I saw by the River Chebar.” That’s the testimony of the prophet Ezekiel, and I hope for these things for Walt! I hope he’s borne up to heaven on wings covered by eyeballs by beings who seem like living creatures but are like no living creature you’ve ever seen! If he cannot be blessed by a natural death, after more than a century of toiling in the funny pages for our amusement, let him have this, instead!

Dennis the Menace, 5/11/24

I genuinely find it funny that Alice seems confused by the perpetrator of this prank. “It’s our asshole neighbor, honey. The one who’s done this before, repeatedly? It’s two in the afternoon, are you drunk already?”