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Gil Thorp, 4/12/22

Can’t believe it’s taken the Milford student-athlete body this long to figure out Coach Thorp’s main weaknesses: he isn’t very smart, and he doesn’t pay a lot of attention to any of his specific individual coachees. If you can trick him into forming a positive opinion of you during a ritual reciting of the names, you’ve got a real leg up!

Gasoline Alley, 4/12/22

Dick Tracy and Gasoline Alley are both syndicated by Tribune Publishing, and with everyone trying to exploit in-house IP to the max these days, it should come as no surprise to see innovative experiments in crossover content synergy like this week’s rapidly escalating Dick Tracy porno. Tribune also owns Gil Thorp, so don’t be surprised to see another special erotic guest star by the end of the week.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/12/22

Ha ha, it’s funny because … poor public health infrastructure has resulted in Hootin’ Holler being ravaged by infectious disease? And it’s hit the children the hardest? That’s the punchline?

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/11/22

Ahh, we have now discovered what type of superhero Rex’s patient is pretending to be: the fancy kind! What’s it to him, ruffian? The man is wearing a cravat! Clearly he’s an important gentleman and is fully authorized to pose car-ownership questions to all and sundry! Stand down, you cur!

Gil Thorp, 4/11/22

The contours of the spring Gil Thorp storyline are taking shape: tennis star Charis (?) is dating baseball trivia nut Eli “E” “Scooter” Borden. Is it possible he loves baseball trivia … too much? More than he loves his tennis star girlfriend or not being called “Eli”? Stay tuned!

Gasoline Alley, 4/11/22

“Why is Dick Tracy still published in newspaper comics sections?” you’ve probably asked yourself, repeatedly. Well, today’s Gasoline Alley has the answer: the older female demographic that makes up an important part of the comics audience is extremely horny for him. The mystery of why Gasoline Alley is still published in the newspaper remains unsolved, but they’re going to do a whole plotline with Dick Tracy in it, just to be on the safe side.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/10/22

Oh, man, big shoutout to Rex Morgan, M.D., for coming up with a plot I never saw coming: Dr. Morgan’s latest patient is a wanna-be superhero, but the old-timey kind, who wears a dashing overcoat and a trilby rather than some gauche skin-tight circus costume, and also he doesn’t have superpowers! Anyway, I have to admit that I’m intrigued by a storyline that’s going to outline the consequences of some light comics-themed vigilantism, both medical (rotator cuff injuries) and nonmedical (getting arrested).

Curtis, 4/10/22

One of my ongoing quests is to make sure that everyone understands that, as the father of an 11-year-old, Greg Wilkins is Gen X at oldest and may well be a Millennial. He would’ve grown up listening to that “rap junk” he despises so much and he also has been using computers his whole adult life and would definitely know what the extremely basic sets of initials on internet posts discussed here stand for. Now, would he be puzzled by TikTok? Probably. Would I enjoy a series of strips where Curtis explains various TikTok cultural phenomena to his father? Almost certainly. Am I going to launch a GoFundMe campaign to pay Ray Billingsly whatever it takes, including a research budget, to produce such a series in time for Kwanzaa this year? Stand by while I consult with my lawyer.

Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/10/22

I mean, it seems likely that Snuffy has screwed up at some point in a way that resulted in an E. coli outbreak, so Loweezy’s question is on point.