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Comment of the Week

Wizard of Id has succintly portrayed the difference between Early and Late Medieval modes of warfare: while his Dark Age companions are boldly dying for their feudal lord, the canny Sir Rodney treats war as a profession. He is akin to the condottiere who would dominate later Italian warfare. That sly look and crooked smile is that of a man who sees human corpses as nothing more than money in his purse, arguably far more barbaric than his predecessors. But trebuchets suck for hitting single guys so we're probably about to see Sir Smarty Pants' insides in spite of his historically progressive role.

—m.w.
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Parson Brown hungers

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Pluggers, 2/23/21

I have become increasingly concerned that there’s some kind of edict coming down from Pluggers HQ that all Pluggers panels have to be broadly relatable, and so we’ve started focusing less on pluggers and what makes them special and instead are just getting panels about things that literally all humans do. The worst thing about today’s panel is that this plugger has a sly look on his face, like he’s getting away with something. Sir, the doctor is literally getting a more accurate assessment of your weight this way! There’s nothing sneaky at all going on here!

Slylock Fox, 2/23/21

In the first panel, the guy at the window is thinking “God damn it! That rotten kid has used all my good sausages for his dumb little snowman tableau!” In the second panel, he’s thinking “Oh my god … the snowman has come to life … and he’s got a taste for flesh.”

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What sort of horrible pun on “cubist” is going to make

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Crankshaft, 2/22/21

So the current Crankshaft plot/running gag involves Crankshaft, who ruined the town ice sculpture contest last year by destroying the ice sculptures with his bus, being randomly selected to be a (the?) judge of this year’s ice sculpture contest. My prediction is that Crankshaft will fall in love with the stark simplicity of this uncarved cube, with hilarious malapropic results that will get readers thinking about the true meaning of “art.” Since the last time the Funkyverse took on the true meaning of art, it involved parents mad that the high school was putting on a cancer-themed play, this will come as a blessed relief.

Mary Worth, 2/22/21

Eve has panic attacks triggered by men’s suits and falling because her husband, who used to trip her deliberately, wore suits. Eve’s dog helps soothe her when she has these episodes … a dog that same husband shot. So who’s gonna soothe the dog, Eve? Who’s gonna soothe the dog?

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Dramatic narrative turns!

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Dennis the Menace, 2/21/21

After a solid year of ignoring the coronavirus pandemic and muddling through in its mostly ’50s nostalgia world, Dennis the Menace has decided to abruptly leap into current events with both feet. How would Mr. Wilson — an elderly man whose human contact comes almost entirely from his wife, who he tolerates, and the neighbor kid, who he despises — deal with the isolating effects of social distancing? Well, it turns out the answer is “great.” Not so great for Dennis’s parents, obviously! There’s a reason they let him wander unsupervised through the neighborhood, after all.

Judge Parker, 2/21/21

It’s no secret that Judge Parker has gotten significantly less zany in the post-Woody Wilson era. That’s why I’m very excited about it taking a sharp turn into a new chapter, and that new chapter is: Godiva Danube: Ghost Sexpot!