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Family Circus, 5/21/20

Real talk: I was originally going to do a bit here about Jeffy thinking his grandmother was ordering him to strangle PJ, but decided that was too dark even for me, then though about spinning a scenario where Jeffy and PJ were going to “play jail” (PJ clearly being in a prison jumpsuit) with Jeffy giving him advice on which gangs to join and which guards were corruptible and such. But then I decided that nothing could be more hilariously grim than the actually intended reading of this panel, which is that Jeffy is such a dull-eyed literalist that he believes that his grandma really wants him to find some ropes and show them to his little brother, for no reason he can fathom but honestly, how much reason can Jeffy ever really extract from his world, anyway?

Funky Winkerbean, 5/21/20

Funky Winkerbean has been taking a break this week from “Les is simultaneously morose and smug while sabotaging his Hollywood career” to bring us an episode where Funky has some kind of heat stroke hallucination while running and thinks he’s talking to a weird robot, who is instantly the most likable character in this strip. I for one am very excited to watch the strip change its name over the next few years from Funky Winkerbean to Funky and the ‘Bot to Everyone Loves The ‘Bot! (Featuring Funky Winkerbean And Pals) to All Hail The ‘Bot.

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Mark Trail, 5/20/20

Wow, Geoff really is working his way up Maslow’s hierarchy for Kevin, isn’t he? He’s managed to see to Kevin’s safety needs (preventing him from being burned to death in a forest fire) and physiological needs (getting him with a family who will feed and house him). When will Kevin experience belongingness, esteem, and emotional self-actualization? (Trick question: nobody in Mark Trail has any handle on what an “emotion” is or how to deal with experiencing them, other than punching.)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/20/20

“Hmm, you’re saying I should … care about the opinons of women over the age of 21? That’s seems crazy. I’ve never done it before … but what do I have to lose, at this point?”

Gil Thorp, 5/20/20

“Look, see this sunset, or possibly sunrise? It symbolizes your new day dawning, or maybe the end of your time at Milford, depending on which one it is, but the important thing is that once you submit to your new and totally unfair fate, you’re not my problem anymore, so why don’t you get on that? The sooner the better.”

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Hi and Lois, 5/19/20

Sure, Amazon has cut out the middelman between publishers and readers, turning books into a low-cost mass commodity, but there’s still a space for true aficionados to browse carefully curated collections of fine novels, like [squints] John Grisham’s latest legal thriller, Camino Winds! Only the personal touch of a true bibliophile can connect you with that sort of enriching literature!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/19/20

Hmm, Truck looks a little dubious about this offer, doesn’t he? He knows that most of his fans are middle-aged dudes in loud print shirts who obsess over the distinctions between similar musical genres like Buck. Do we really want them gathering together, in “clubs,” and starting to realize their power and numbers? Sure, it would help Truck financially … but at what cost?

The Lockhorns, 5/19/20

Good news, everybody! The Lockhorns are getting divorced!