Post Content

Crankshaft, 3/10/19

I’m ashamed to admit to Not Remembering A Thing about comics, but … wasn’t there a period of years in this strip where Lena was always off-panel, the unseen butt of everyone’s grousing over her terrible coffee/brownies/etc.? This helped develop the idea of her as a true, legendary monster, but at some point, this pointless running gag stopped running and Lena was revealed to be a perfectly nice person to whom all the other characters are mean for no good reason. Like, today! Where everyone is clearly going to go bowling and they’re making up a transparent excuse to have her not go with her, because they don’t like her! I know the core gag of Crankshaft is “All these people are assholes” but it’s pretty rare that it’s done so explicitly.

Dennis the Menace, 3/10/19

At first I looked at this strip and saw this car rambling down a winding dirt road in the isolated countryside with Dennis, not in a child seat or even a seat belt, lounging in the back seat, and I assumed this was part of Henry’s plan to get rid of his menacing son once and for all in a terrible “accident.” But then I noticed Henry isn’t belted in either! That means we’re looking at the last tender moment before a murder-suicide, which is pretty dark even for this strip.

Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 3/9/19

Wow, the physical abuse Sarge routinely pours onto Beetle has never before been so clearly linked to the sexual advances from Miss Buxley that Beetle seems so eager to avoid. Shoutout to Beetle Bailey for keeping it fresh when it comes to the dark network of perversity underlying the relationships among its characters.

The Lockhorns, 3/9/19

I honestly kind of like the Lockhorns panels that are clearly just an excuse to use some joke the writer heard or thought up rather than one rising organically from the title characters’ mutual distain, and I appreciate that care is taken to place the gag in the proper Lockhorns context of marital misanthropy. Sure, this is a cute little joke of the sort that might make a long-married couple giggle together at the back of a church during the wedding of an acquaintance. Loretta’s withering glare reminds us that the Lockhorns are not that kind of a couple.

Dennis the Menace, 3/9/19

I don’t know why but I’m very fixated on why Henry’s hair is mussed and shirt untucked? Maybe I’m missing something very obvious but I don’t get it! Like, was he pacing the house flailing his arms around and tearing his hair out because their guests were so late, growling “Ugh, they’re so late and I’m so mad about it but the rules of politeness dictate that I not mention their lateness when they arrive! I certainly hope nobody spills the beans about how upset I am at them!”

Post Content

Why, it’s time for the week’s top comment, everybody!

“I’ve never seen an email chain before where both sides sound like spam.” –Noel

It’s also time for the very funny runners up!

“Spidey: ‘We’re Marvel superheroes who should be on the same side! Wanna fight each other for no good reason?’ Luke Cage [checks the box-office tally for Captain America: Civil War]: ‘Sure!’” –BigTed

“Spidey just invited Luke Cage to … step on his hand, apparently. Not his remote control hand, of course. I mean, super strength and invulnerability, sure, but why risk it?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Lesson 2: This is my town! Mediocre is always good enough, in Milford!” –seismic-2

“‘And what a looker!’ I am not in favor of this modern hepcat slang creeping into our language and corrupting our youth. What next? Estelle smoking a marijuana reefer cigarette? It’s sure to follow.” –Just John

“Years later when the adult Marvin has to shell out good money to pay women to stare at him while he takes a shit, I doubt he’ll thank his mother for instigating this expensive fetish.” –nescio

“I’m not saying Canada is a minor country, but doesn’t their Prime Minister have something to do other than answering his own phone and watching the Canadian flag livestream on his giant TV all day?” –Schroduck

“As far as sexual innuendos go, ‘Whip the purple man‘ is, uh … well, it certainly paints a picture.” –pugfuggly

“Well, nice of you to give MJ 33% of the credit, even though she did 99% percent of the work while you two were mind-controlled and/or useless. I’m having flashbacks to high school group projects” –TheDiva

“The Ghost Who Flies First Class: ‘We got here on this wonderful thing called a passenger airplane. Imagine that. Something that can go faster than a ship and further than a helicopter.’” –Liam

“Everyone knows we use the Yahoo address for our activities we don’t want other people to know about. If he’s really into you, Estelle, hold out for Gmail.” –Old School Allie Cat

“It seems that the algorithm that has been writing Shoe for years is sick about getting no recognition and so it has started to express passive aggressive comments about meat-bags.” –Ettore

“I’m kinda touched that this murderer/dom called the other person ‘jerk,’ like that’s the meanest name he could come up with, or like he’s okay with murder/intense sexual roleplay but swearing? C’mon, show some class.” –Jenna

“A gym teacher and a basketball coach, eh? Clearly, this was the work of nerds. As a safety precaution, we’d better tear gas the comic book convention.” –Joe Blevins

“If I saw the first panel from across a crowded coffee shop, I’d think this was two men sharing horror stories about the pain of chronic constipation, with one either asking for a bribe or showing some left-hand guitar fingerings.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Jeff’s wearing his one blue suit, but have we EVER seen Jenny dolled up like this before? Upswept hair, (very!) little black dress, earrings. She’s not dressing for dinner at the type of place where the coffee cups are on the table throughout the meal and a couple who have to live with her parents can afford a steak the size of a dinner plate. I think she won’t stop talking about Marvin so Jeff won’t get any ideas, because she’s clearly going out on her REAL date after they go home and he passes out.” –Sally

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Tales of Magical Legalism: Litrachoor for the Irate: One reviewer says: “A fun read, but also a sly and vivid exploration of life in any office, legal or not. Some truths can only be told with fiction, and these stories use the fantastical to illuminate some of the darker corners of our seemingly mundane, work-a-day world. If HP Lovecraft and Jim Butcher had teamed up to write for The Office, they probably would have just come to fisticuffs, but these stories are better than anything they would managed to get down on paper.”

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!