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Family Circus, 11/8/18

Ha ha, I love how smug that frog looks. “That’s right, buddy, you better back the heck off. There’s no way to be sure about my royal status. Unless you want to kiss me? No? You don’t want to kiss me? Guess I’ll be on my way, then. See ya, chumps!”

Gil Thorp, 11/8/18

Oh wow, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the Gil Thorp football season, huh? I guess it’s because it’s been super boring, with the month since we learned that Tiki is often late for mysterious sister-related reasons mostly taken up by two of Tiki’s less dim teammates slowly piecing together that Tiki seems unfamiliar with the major landmarks around his supposed residence and may not live in Milford at all. Anyway, today the Gil Thorp creative team apparently noticed we’re more than a week into November and we need to start wrapping this up, because suddenly we got a lot of exciting info, maybe implying that Tiki isn’t really who he says at all! An imposter! A changeling! A 32-year-old investigative reporter who’s writing a longform piece on America’s most mediocre high school football programs! The possibilities are endless and really quite cinematic, which makes it too bad that the other football season plot, the one about the irritating cineaste punter, is going nowhere just as fast.

Judge Parker, 11/18/18

Oh, wow, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Judge Parker, huh? Well, here’s what’s going on in Judge Parker: Judge Parker Senior is going to jail, finally.

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Mary Worth, 11/7/18

Oh, actually, I guess this week isn’t going to be about the special care you need to take when adopting a traumatized dog. Nope, it’s just an elaborate metaphor, where Greta the bow-tie wearing dog is a stand-in for the bow-tie wearing Saul, who was shutting out the good along with the bad mere hours ago. Probably Greta will come around just as quickly, with help from a little roast chicken skin! Did Mary consider just luring Saul out of his apartment and/or emotional shell with some roast chicken skin? Might’ve saved everyone a lot of time.

Dick Tracy, 11/7/18

Remember when Dick Tracy was about truly horrific and violent deaths? Well, it’s about people faxing documents to other people now. Funny how things work out in this world!

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What guidance do our syndicated newspaper comics have on this, the most sacred of mid-term election days in the United States?

Beetle Bailey, 11/6/18

Beetle Bailey urges you to vote for candidates who aren’t afraid to stand up to the bloated, wasteful military-industrial complex!

Curtis, 11/6/18

Curtis takes a very strong stance against all the do-nothing zookeepers in this country. Is your local zookeeper getting rich off his government salary while man-eating lions roam the streets? Vote the bums out!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/6/18

Snuffy, meanwhile, has the best of both worlds: he gets to cast his ballot to have his say on land politics, but then retreat to his nautical fortress, where he’s only under the jurisdiction of maritime law. Remember, Snuffy can only be tried in a court where there’s a gold fringe around the flag!