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Comment of the Week

After all the other 'Ed doing things nobody visiting NYC would' entries, I have to acknowledge today's strip for verisimilitude: Only a tourist would go to Washington Square Park to buy pot.

—ValdVin
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Strictly speaking they should be paying the Morgans for the privilege of babysitting, but I’ll let it slide this time

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/2/18

Hey, remember when June’s childhood friend, whom she hadn’t seen since actual childhood, just straight-up gave the Morgans her baby because she was dying and had no living relatives, but then it turned out the baby actually had paternal grandparents and June was afraid they’d try to steal their grandchild away from her but it then they ended up apologizing for even implying they might do that and said just wanted to do normal grandparent stuff? Well, good news: the Morgans are using them for free babysitting services while they party in Vegas! All’s well that end’s well for everybody, except for Johnny’s grandfather, who’s going to die of a heart attack within the week.

Shoe, 8/2/18

There are basically two settings for the extremely common Shoe joke format “bird-man engages other bird-man, apparently a stranger or at best a very casual acquaintance, in banter that’s actually a strained setup for today’s punchline”: Roz restaurant counter, which we see here today, and the weird gross fern bar which, unlike most locations in this strip, appears to be inside a building rather than just furniture sitting in the open air on a tree branch. Anyway, I don’t pretend to understand how the location gets chosen for each gag, but I would suggest that today’s strip, in which Shoe initiates conversation with someone he doesn’t know with tales of his extremely dysfunctional romantic relationship, is more a bar strip than a restaurant strip.

The Lockhorns, 8/2/18

There’s a lot here that you could react extremely negatively to — is it really a “film festival” if you’re binge-watching stuff on some streaming service? would it have killed them to look up and use the name of an actual anime series? what the fuck is going on with Leroy’s skull shape, and shouldn’t we at least get a glimpse of his other giant anime eye from this angle? — but instead I’m going to spend the rest of the week thinking about where Leroy would come down on the perennial dubs vs. subs controversy.

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You don’t want to anger the faithful readers of Playbill

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Spider-Man, 8/1/18

Wow, it used to be that all you had to do to be the sinister leader of criminal syndicate with a vice grip on Chinatown was be a vaguely racist stereotype and have an army of sexy swordsladies at your beck and call. But now it turns out that you also have to keep up on all the latest D-list celebrity gossip just so that you don’t accidentally chop off the head of the chump husband of some Broadway actress. The final panel is a sad and totally accurate assessment of the relative importance of journalists and people whose spouses occasionally appear in People.

Pluggers, 8/1/18

OK, see, Pluggers, we have a deal where you get to do your thing so long as the event you depict in your panel puts a little bit of a twist on the caption, and the key to this is that the caption has to be a commonly used phrase or concept for non-pluggers, and you show us the plugger spin on it. But today we’re being asked to believe that “upgrading your timepiece” is a thing? A thing anyone says? Maybe pluggers believe that this is a thing that nerds who wear smartwatches say? Hey, Pluggers: the caption to this one could’ve just been “A plugger smartwatch,” BOOM.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/1/18

Ha ha, it’s funny because Hootin’ Holler’s only medical facility is infested with vermin!

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Terrible children

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Marvin, 7/31/18

It’s weird how the Marvin cast of babies walk around unsupervised, talk, can grasp object permanence, etc., and really the only thing that marks them out as infants is that they’re short and aren’t potty trained. Almost as if someone just really likes the idea of functional adults shitting themselves deliberately on the regular, and who am I to judge! Ha ha, just kidding, I judge constantly, and in non-shitting judging news, why would a baby be at all interested in a fountain of youth? I guess maybe as a baby he recognizes the extreme jealousy his youth inspires in others and seeks to monetize it; or, conversely, maybe to him “youth” means young adulthood, and he aims to accelerate his fellow babies’ aging process until their physical development matches their mental state. They’re still gonna shit their pants, though! Just a hunch I have about that.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/31/18

I’d always just pegged Parson Tuttle as an uncomplicated grifter, but now I see he has a much darker design: to use Scripture as a recruiting tool to raise an army of child soldiers, like an Appalachian Kony. Can the women in this community hold the line against the total violent breakdown of their community?

Family Circus, 7/31/18

I have to admit that seeing a sugar-drunk Jeffy announcing that he’s discovered he can just guzzle syrup straight from the bottle and plans to continue to do so made me smile. The only way this panel could be even better would be if, instead just a single demure droplet of syrup at the corner of his mouth, he was completely covered in the stuff, like he had poured it over his head and let ooze down and form a delicious, sticky mask. Can’t even open his eyes because of the syrup and happy as a clam, a dumb, gross, syrup-soaked clam.