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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/21/26

The Comics Curmudgeon has been, in one sense, an experiment to see what writing a blog about newspaper comic strips for 20-plus years does to the human brain, and I’m here to testify that the results are … let’s say, mixed? Like, for instance, last night I literally had a dream that the end of the scam twins storyline in Rex Morgan, M.D., was revealed to be the swan song for the strip as a whole, and I woke up quite bereft! But thank goodness this was just a product of my fevered mind, and instead we’ve got a new adventure brewing, involving … a retired cartoonist working on some commissions? Pass. Hard pass. Glad it’s still happening, but we’ll be skipping this one.

Dick Tracy, 9/21/26

I thought this fellow was holding up his index finger in panel two in a “So you see…” sense, indicating impending exposition in which he would explain at length how Vio routed the money he stole from Ubusoft. But I guess he’s just pointing at that floating, indecipherable text (?) box on his monitor because it contains the explanation, somehow, which is honestly a real relief to me because now I don’t have to even briefly pretend I’m going to try to understand how it all worked.

Garfield, 9/21/26

Not to speak ill of another representative of the mid-to-late ’00s newspaper comics blog milieu from which I myself emerged, but I always thought the idea behind Garfield Minus Garfield was a little off. To me, the funny twist is not imagining that Garfield doesn’t exist, but that to Jon he’s an ordinary cat whose thought balloons are outside of his ability to experience. That really works with today’s strip, where as a cat owner he might be thinking, “Huh, my cat, who obviously does not speak or think in complete English sentences, does seem to be unusually dramatic and despondent on Mondays. Weird! Also not sure where he got that coffee mug from.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/21/26

Sorry, this strip doesn’t work for me at all. Nobody in Hootin’ Holler knows what a “citrus fruit” is, and if you tried to explain it to them they’d have you executed for witchcraft.

Intelligent Life, 9/21/26

Jesus Christ, you two, the Borg aren’t “AI,” they’re cybernetically enhanced biological intelligence, and Picard famously defended the citizenship rights of his AI friend in court, how are you such incredible losers but also not even good at being sci-fi geeks

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Hi and Lois, 9/19/26

I genuinely love Hi’s distressed facial expression and clenched fists of impotent rage in the second panel here. Damn it, she’s spent too much on this dress … but she’s right! Surely they will be invited to a wedding, some day, and now is the time to prepare! With their rich social life and wide group of family and friends (not depicted in-strip, mostly they just hang out with Thirsty and Irma and occasionally chat with their old neighbor guy, but whatever, let’s assume it exists), this was a smart move to meet an inevitable need. If only it weren’t so darn expensive!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/19/26

I was trying to figure out what Loweezy’s grotesque facial expression in panel two was supposed to signify. I think she’s squinting, to read the fine print on this coupon? It’s too bad Doc Pritchart isn’t an optometrist in addition to being a physician and a dentist, as the availability of corrective lenses would really improve the quality of life of those Hootin’ Holler residents who manage to live past 40.

Pluggers, 9/19/26

The Steamboat Willie version of Mickey Mouse entered the public domain more than two years ago, Tribune Content Agency, LLC! You don’t have to apologize to Disney for anything! Don’t be a coward! You do have to apologize to us for the off-putting expression on this she-plugger’s face, though, that’s just common decency.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/14/26

I guess the point of this strip is “You never get what you want when you want it,” but for at least a brief moment I thought Snuffy looked so sad because he considers himself in his way to be a steward of the land. During deer-huntin’ season, people have killed so many deer that bears roam the countryside, near starving for lack of prey, and then in bear-huntin’ season, deer multiply out of control due to lack of predators. That’s why he had to shoot these critters out of season, sheriff! He’s helpin’ the local ecosystem!

Gil Thorp, 9/14/26

Based on the extremely visible stars in the sky, I’m guessing this is a night game played without adequate lighting. Presumably Oakwood is the home team and this gives them an advantage based on their day-glow yellow uniforms. Obviously the Mudlark QB is going to throw right to them, they’re the only ones visible on the field!

Pluggers, 9/14/26

I regret to inform you all that there are only two viable options here: that pluggers think “bedroom eyes” mean what your eyes look like when you’re sleepy, or that they think that sometimes a plugger will make eyes at you implying that they want you to come over and fuck them right there on their recliner and that this is what those eyes look like, like they’re dying.

Judge Parker, 9/14/26

Good news: Judge Parker Emeritus Senior got a job, to give his life meaning. Bad news: he apparently has to get up at 6:00 am to get to it? Maybe a meaningless life isn’t so bad after all, let’s not be hasty.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/14/26

Remember: it’s not just mandatory that nothing bad ever happen to the Morgan family. The Morgan family must be fully insulated by the narrative from ever knowing that anything bad might have potentially happened to them. And, mission accomplished! Looks like we can wrap up the week’s strips with this one and [checks calendar] aw CRAP

Mary Worth, 9/14/26

“Did he die? Is he finally dead? Because he still owes me money from when I sold him weed six years ago. I mean, it wasn’t actually weed, it was oregano, but he didn’t know that.”