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Mary Worth, 6/29/26

The very first Mary Worth plot covered on this blog introduced both Tommy in full drug lord mode and launched the Wilbur/Iris relationship, so it makes sense that Wilbur’s view of Tommy is filtered through the difficulties Tommy’s caused his mother. That’s not why he’s so upset, though (obviously Wilbur has caused Iris plenty of trouble on his own). No, the real issue is that if even Dawn isn’t writing Tommy off as a hopeless addict and loser, where does that leave Wilbur? He’ll be fighting Ian to avoid the “worst dude in Charterstone” title, and Ian agreed to not murder his wife’s parrot so he’s already got a head start! Anyway, I’m looking forward both to seeing Wilbur’s emotional meltdown and learning what “teen dance-offs” are.

Alice, 6/29/26

A while back we learned that Alice might be good at her job, actually, which I found somewhat destabilizing, but we didn’t learn what her job actually is. Today we find out that she’s apparently a teacher of some kind, which is funny because we’ve never, ever seen her teaching a class. Maybe she should be laid off, actually? Since she doesn’t have any students, and teaching them is her job?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/29/26

Ha ha, yes, Snuffy, that is certainly one way to construe the gentleman’s statement! But for real, stealing chickens from your destitute neighbors is one thing, but you stole a car and you’re going to jail jail now.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/29/26

Oh, well, big news, Herb: when people say “affordability,” they are actually specifically discussing whether people can afford to pay for goods and services. People like you, for instance! So we’re all talking about the same thing here, it turns out.

Six Chix, 6/29/26

Yeah, if my dog started talking to me like this, I would be freaking the fuck out! This guy knows what’s up!

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Judge Parker, 6/21/26

Look, we know what you want and what you don’t want out of your soap opera comic strips, and what you don’t want is character growth. That sort of thing is how you get the man once known as “Tommy the Tweaker” yammering about his skivvies in a supermarket, where he’s gainfully employed, to Dawn Weston of all people. So, don’t worry, kids, Sophie moved to Norway a year ago but she hasn’t “found herself” or grown as a person at all! Instead she broke up with her boyfriend for reasons she can barely articulate. She’s going to drift back to the United States as dumb as she was when she left, and I think that’s great.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/21/26

Sorry, I’m sure Snuffy loves his son Li’l Tater and his nephew Jughaid who has, through some sequence of events we don’t talk about, come to be his full-time ward, but I refuse to believe that he would ever have a structure on his property, no matter how ramshackle, that has “work” in its name. The very concept is anathema to him!

Heathcliff, 6/21/26

[normally, conversationally, as if the sentence I’m saying is the most natural thing in the world] Butterflies are the emojis of stoke.

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Barney Google and Snuff Smith, 5/9/26

Snuffy sure looks smug, doesn’t he? He shouldn’t, though: cultivating the favorite food source of your primary prey animal sounds clever, but it represents the first step on the road to agriculture, which leads to more advanced and economically complex societies, which in turn leads to Snuffy having to get a job. Beware!

Pluggers, 5/9/26

Honestly very thankful that they chose a plugger with an emergency-level headache attacking an aspirin bottle with a nail file as the visual here, and not a sweaty, increasingly agitated plugger sitting on the toilet tearing wrapping away from a roll of toilet paper. Bless you, Pluggers, for taking the high road in response to this entry.

B.C., 5/9/26

Tycho Brahe is pretty famous for a 16th century Danish astronomer, which is to say that he’s not very famous at all, and I honestly wonder if there’s anyone out there who knows who he is but doesn’t know that he had a brass prosthetic nose (he lost most of his nose in college in a drunken duel with his cousin over who was a better mathematician, respect). And then how does “people who read B.C.” fit into this Venn diagram? Much to think about.

Pickles, 5/9/26

This week’s Pickles strips have been about how Grandpa Pickles, sick of his wife telling him he’s bad at picking out matching pants and shirts, has gotten really into jumpsuits. This is all fun and games until you can’t get them off fast enough and then piss yourself, apparently.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/9/26

Ha, Lonnie, you thought this freelance paparazzi/blackmail scam would be easy money, huh? Well, what if you have to get involved in some cuck stuff to pull it off, huh? Because it seems like you might have to get involved in some cuck stuff.