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Judge Parker, 7/31/26

I guess I had missed it, but Ann has apparently decided that her mission is now “helping people,” I think people who used to be in prison or maybe former con artists specifically, and Neddy and Ronnie got about 30 seconds into their pitch meeting for a show based on Ann’s life before Ann became disgusted by the shallow Hollywood values on display and launched into this self-righteous diatribe. Sadly, I suspect she won’t be the first person to successfully neg her way into a TV deal.

Herb and Jamaal, 7/31/26

Wow, Rev. Croom, for a clergyman who, if I’m parsing this internal monologue correctly, is experiencing some kind of crisis of faith, you sure look awfully smug in that last panel!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/31/26

I’d like to believe that the gag writer here submitted something that was very obviously about a specific real airline that they had a terrible experience with, and they had to go back and forth with the syndicate over not doing something that would get them all sued before eventually landing on “Airworst Airlines,” which is so stupid and I genuinely love it.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/31/26

Hey, uh, Snuffy. What’s going on with your skin, man. Did, ah. Did you have Granny Creeps whip up a colloidal silver tincture to cure your syphilis, or what.

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Mary Worth, 6/29/26

The very first Mary Worth plot covered on this blog introduced both Tommy in full drug lord mode and launched the Wilbur/Iris relationship, so it makes sense that Wilbur’s view of Tommy is filtered through the difficulties Tommy’s caused his mother. That’s not why he’s so upset, though (obviously Wilbur has caused Iris plenty of trouble on his own). No, the real issue is that if even Dawn isn’t writing Tommy off as a hopeless addict and loser, where does that leave Wilbur? He’ll be fighting Ian to avoid the “worst dude in Charterstone” title, and Ian agreed to not murder his wife’s parrot so he’s already got a head start! Anyway, I’m looking forward both to seeing Wilbur’s emotional meltdown and learning what “teen dance-offs” are.

Alice, 6/29/26

A while back we learned that Alice might be good at her job, actually, which I found somewhat destabilizing, but we didn’t learn what her job actually is. Today we find out that she’s apparently a teacher of some kind, which is funny because we’ve never, ever seen her teaching a class. Maybe she should be laid off, actually? Since she doesn’t have any students, and teaching them is her job?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/29/26

Ha ha, yes, Snuffy, that is certainly one way to construe the gentleman’s statement! But for real, stealing chickens from your destitute neighbors is one thing, but you stole a car and you’re going to jail jail now.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/29/26

Oh, well, big news, Herb: when people say “affordability,” they are actually specifically discussing whether people can afford to pay for goods and services. People like you, for instance! So we’re all talking about the same thing here, it turns out.

Six Chix, 6/29/26

Yeah, if my dog started talking to me like this, I would be freaking the fuck out! This guy knows what’s up!

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Judge Parker, 6/21/26

Look, we know what you want and what you don’t want out of your soap opera comic strips, and what you don’t want is character growth. That sort of thing is how you get the man once known as “Tommy the Tweaker” yammering about his skivvies in a supermarket, where he’s gainfully employed, to Dawn Weston of all people. So, don’t worry, kids, Sophie moved to Norway a year ago but she hasn’t “found herself” or grown as a person at all! Instead she broke up with her boyfriend for reasons she can barely articulate. She’s going to drift back to the United States as dumb as she was when she left, and I think that’s great.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/21/26

Sorry, I’m sure Snuffy loves his son Li’l Tater and his nephew Jughaid who has, through some sequence of events we don’t talk about, come to be his full-time ward, but I refuse to believe that he would ever have a structure on his property, no matter how ramshackle, that has “work” in its name. The very concept is anathema to him!

Heathcliff, 6/21/26

[normally, conversationally, as if the sentence I’m saying is the most natural thing in the world] Butterflies are the emojis of stoke.