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Blondie, 7/18/26

Blondie likes to make extremely on-the-nose jokes about obscure holidays. But they usually show up on the day itself, and National Ice Cream Day falls on a Sunday, of course. Maybe part of the joke is that Dagwood just can’t wait? I mean, look at the way he’s eyeing his wife’s dessert before he’s even finished his own.

Between Friends, 7/18/26

Big news in Between Friends: Maeve is getting married! Again! To her cheating, lying, emotionally manipulative, marginally employed snake of an ex-husband! If second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience, second marriage to this guy is how experience gets its revenge.

Heathcliff, 7/18/26

By car, scooter, elephant, cannon, or [squints] fish-guided bubblegum balloon—a cat’s gotta travel. Bro, man. Bro indeed.

Luann, 7/18/26

After months of agonizing “trying,” Toni Daytona-DeGroot is at last pregnant. “Thank God,” she exclaims, “I can finally stop having sex with Brad.”

Hey there! I’m filling in for Josh through Sunday the 26^th. Reach me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if you have any trouble with the site, your subscription, emails, or Patreon. Enjoy!

—Uncle Lumpy

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Judge Parker, 7/8/26

Hey, remember when Neddy tried to be a TV writer, and managed to sell Netflix a pilot about April, the violent, terrifying CIA assassin daughter-in-law of the strip’s namesake? Well, having run out of ideas after her first idea, she’s now trying to pitch a TV show about Ann, the violent, terrifying scam artist daughter of the strip’s namesake. She’s gonna keep at it until she runs out of daughters!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/8/26

So the way a joke works, usually, is that you start with a setup that’s grounded in the known and the expected, and then you hit your audience with a surprising twist. Like, imagine beloved cartoon character Bugs Bunny giving us his classic line, “What’s up, doc?” That’s expected. But then the point of view expands, and we can see that he’s not just delivering a saucy greeting — he’s actually requesting medical data from a doctor, who has some tough news for him. Now, would that be a good joke? Enh, not really. But, I submit to you, it would be recognizable as a joke, in a way that today’s Mother Goose and Grimm most definitely is not.

Luann, 7/8/26

Luann, meanwhile, is beyond “jokes,” and I respect it. Bernice is going to become an influencer for toilet perverts! There’s some backstory leading up to this, but honestly you don’t need it.

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Gil Thorp, 6/23/26

I love the abrupt emotional turn Gil takes in panel three: he lowers his sunglasses over his eyes to hide the flash of anger, but we can still see the bitter scowl on his face. Jet fuel is a miracle, making it possible for machines to hurtle through the air at hundreds of miles an hour and bringing the world within reach of ordinary people in just a few hours. Major geopolitical actors have been unable to resolve their disputes peacefully and have disrupted the flow of this amazing substance, raising the price of air travel beyond many people’s ability to pay, and frankly, it makes Gil sick just to think about it.

Archie, 6/23/26

Cell phones may have destroyed human attention spans, filled public spaces with inescapable, annoying noise, and even sabotaged our species’s ability to reproduce itself, but at least we no longer have to suffer the indignity of missing a phone call as depicted in this 1990s Archie rerun, so who’s to say if they’re good or bad?

Luann, 6/23/26

Look, I dunno man, Brad and Toni are still having sex in the shower, right here in the funny pages in front of the children, so what am I supposed to do, not tell you about it? I do kind of like how prominent Brad’s wedding ring is in panel one. They’re married so this series of erotic drawings is tasteful and wholesome, actually.