Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/9/15
Well, it appears that Grimm, one of the beloved title characters of the syndicated comic strip Mother Goose and Grimm, has died. RIP Grimm, 1984-2015. Looking forward to seeing what new strip is in this space tomorrow.
Beetle Bailey, 8/9/15
Meanwhile, Zero, one of the beloved ancillary characters of the syndicated comic strip Beetle Bailey, is being carried off to be devoured by birds. Nobody will mourn him and the strip will continue on as usual.
Funky Winkerbean, 8/9/15
Ha ha, you didn’t think I’d have a post called “Depressing Sunday” and not talk about Funky Winkerbean in it, did you? Anyway, the time travel situation turned out to be “just a dream,” but let’s look on the bright side: this class reunion plot began with Les being strongarmed into running it at the last minute and extremely anxious about screwing it up. Typically, that sort of setup would result in the protagonist overcoming obstacles and putting together an event that everyone enjoyed, even if things happened that were a little out of the ordinary. But nope! This is Funky Winkerbean! Les did a shitty job and now everybody hates him! This is honestly the most satisfying conclusion that I can imagine.
Mary Worth, 4/27/15
Mary gleefully explains love using the familiar language of commerce: “There are no guarantees, so how about a trial period? You could check out lots of free samples — and before you commit, be sure to line up all the coupons and rebates you can. Maybe you could even negotiate a discount for that bum leg. Under the circumstances, you should probably spring for the service contract. There are also some really good deals to be found when you buy in bulk — does Adam have any brothers? Check out the accessories, but don’t let anybody sell you something you don’t need — I know from my experience with Dr. Jeff that the rustproofing is a ripoff. And remember to shop around, including online. And don’t rule out barter! Say, what does Yelp have to say about this guy?”
Mark Trail, 4/27/15
OK, how much does everybody love hapless, never-to-be-married Wally Wood? Seriously, this guy couldn’t buy a hap at World of Haps Outlet Store on Presidents Day. Maybe Mark Trail will spin off The Trials of Wally Wood to compete in the coveted “misery porn” bracket now dominated by Funky Winkerbean, featuring guest appearances by Mark to get things rolling:
||“The IRS called — they’re denying your writeoff for the trees.”
||“Watch out — there’s a beaver behind you!”
||“Wait – is that a locust?”
||“My farm — it’s ruined!”
||“Say, I think you got a little rash on your neck, there.”
||“Hmm … looks like rain.”
Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/27/15
And the comic strip makes three. Or maybe they just killed the wrong dog.
— Uncle Lumpy
Wizard of Id, 11/17/14
Happy 50th birthday, Wizard of Id! You’ve spent half a century churning out quasi-medieval whimsy to the delight of several, and show no signs of stopping, so by all means let your mildly beloved characters pause and take a bow. Many of today’s other strips also paid tribute to this testament of syndicated comics longevity!
Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/17/14
Mother Goose and Grimm decided to celebrate Wizard of Id’s penchant for using the literal torture of human beings as a punchline. I was going to say that torture was “a big part of the Wizard of Id brand” but that was a little uncomfortably on the nose.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/17/14
Looks like all this devilish wizardry in the newspaper is tempting Hootin’ Holler’s youth into lives of service to satan! This is what you get when the federal gummint overstretches its reach to outlaw local traditions like stoning blasphemers.
Family Circus, 11/17/14
The Family Circus rather ungraciously implies that the strip is best enjoyed by babies and other illiterates.
Meanwhile, Dagwood doesn’t even bother to acknowledge the cake-gratulations (I JUST INVENTED THAT, © AND ™ JOSH FRUHLINGER, DO NOT STEAL) this bakery is offering because he’s so focused on buying his wife precisely the gift that he wants to eat.
Hi and Lois, 11/17/14
Finally, the Wiz looms in the background in panel two here as some sort of pop art painting, as Chip realizes that his parents’ dysfunctional marriage will forever compromise his ability to love.
Some strips did bravely ignore this important industry anniversary, however:
Judge Parker, 11/17/14
Our heroes in Judge Parker have decided to hunker down and get as drunk as possible, in the hopes that once they sober up all their problems will have resolved themselves.
Funky Winkerbean, 11/17/14
And Funky Winkerbean promises that the next week will consist entirely of hardcore Bushka family sex scenes. Stay tuned!