Mother Goose and Grimm
Cats are a species that are always suspect when it comes to Real American Authenticity, so naturally the cat-plugger tends to be an outsider in the world of pluggerdom. Speaking as a cat-type myself, I’m not sure what exactly this panel is all about — are there baseball cards that don’t come with bubble gum? are they “fake,” somehow? wouldn’t old cards sold at a garage sale have stopped smelling like bubble gum years ago, assuming they aren’t in their original wrapper? — but it’s fun to see how sad the cat-plugger is at having his wares rejected. Haha, cat-plugger, your attempt to sell off these tiny bits of your childhood and some of your furniture in order to stave off economic catastrophe has been met with only scorn! Why don’t you go back to gay communist France, with your bogus baseball cards?
Mother Goose and Grim, 3/16/13
One of the central schticks of Mother Goose and Grimm is that Grimm the dog and Attila the cat cordially despise each other, but even still, Grimmy isn’t a narc. He knows that snitches get stitches! (Or more stitches, in this case.)
Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/16/13
Nearly eight years after Mary Worth threw down the gauntlet, Rex Morgan looks poised to be the first syndicated continuity strip to feature a graphic vomiting scene. Just in time for a large-format full-color Sunday strip, too!
Mary Worth, 3/16/13
You guys, I’m starting a new meekcore band called Beth Kinley, and the title of our first single will be “I’ll Just Have Regular Water (If It’s Not Too Much Trouble)”.
Dick Tracy, 2/22/13
Long-time readers will remember when Dick Tracy was a staple of these pages, back before a new team, narrative coherence, and really sumptuous art (go back and look at that first panel again; I’ll wait) put an end to that. So it’s nice of them to toss in an grisly death now and again, just for us old-timers. Thanks, guys — BEROWH!
Judge Parker, 2/22/13
Ha ha, so L’il Judge Randy’s going to tell his fiancée — a well-equipped professional assassin with a hair-trigger temper and history of gun violence returning from covert wet work in some Middle East hot spot — that their honeymoon will trap them on a boat with Mom ‘n’ Pop, the very people she planned to escape by eloping, swearing him to secrecy. Sam’s concerns are misplaced — L’il Judge won’t live to see cocktail hour, let alone Mexico. Work it like a claw, and call him mincemeat.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/22/13
The Scarlet Letter meets Welcome to the Monkey House. Those townsfolk will be mighty surprised when Reverend Dimmesdale shows up with a scarlet “D-” on his chest — the mercy grade Hester gave him so he wouldn’t try to retake the course.
Edge City, 2/22/13
Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin finally found a personal trainer well-suited to her capabilities and goals, and promptly stopped exercising. Husband Len sizes up the situation perceptively, but both irony and correction are lost on Abby.
||This woman is a therapist.
||Yes, I am going to start every single Edge City post with “Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin ….” I just have to, for some reason.
Hi and Lois, 2/22/13
Lois, check out the the Cubs memorabilia and the Dylan, Who, and Led Zeppelin posters: this guy is your Dad.
Just a reminder – no Comments of the Week on my watch. Look for them when Josh gets back Sunday or, you know, whenever.
– Uncle Lumpy
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Dennis the Menace, 7/19/12
So, it’s pretty obvious that Mr. Wilson thought up this “bratwurst”/”worst brat” thing several weeks ago. The question is, how hard has he worked to make this moment happen? Because I can guarantee that the all the pieces didn’t just fall into place by themselves. My guess is that he suggested brats for dinner as early as this morning, then moved the sausage to somewhere unlikely in the fridge sometime after lunch, and made a request for Martha to start dinner just as he spotted Dennis on his way over. Even with everything as contrived as that, he’s got to be pleased by how well he threaded the needle and delivered his long-awaited bon mot just as Dennis opened the door.
Hmm, so it seems that Slylock can throw various creatures in prison for petty crimes based on circumstantial evidence, but when it comes to corporate pollution that could sicken thousands, all he can do is stand on the other side of the lake and watch the poison rise into the air. Perhaps his world and ours aren’t so different from one another? Except for the whole terrifying anthropomorphic animal thing, obviously.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/19/12
Do you enjoy solving Sudoku™ number puzzles, either in your local newspaper or in puzzle books you can buy at local bookstores and hobby shops? Well, now when you engage in this pastime, you’ll be thinking about the Sudoku puzzles having drunken sex with one another. Sorry!
Remember, the only thing Curtis likes more than money is serving his Demonic Majesty, Satan, Lord of Lies.
Slylock Fox, 4/22/11
Everyone knows that the quickest way to make something adorable and kid-friendly is to make a li’l child version of it; this is the logic that produced Muppet Babies and Animaniacs, to great success. Still, when you’re dealing with a mummified corpse reanimated via the ancient magic that still lingers in some musty tomb, a child version seems less cute than terrifying and soul-crushingly sad. Look, the little damned soul is about to taste its first dessert since he died sometime during Egypt’s 19th Dynasty! Too bad his tongue is going to crumble to dust in his mouth the moment it touches that ice cream.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/22/11
Ha ha, yes, I’m always up for a good joke about Mary Worth showing off her vagina, but still … still, this is kind of the moment when you realize, “Wow, I don’t think the people at the syndicate are actually reading the comics anymore before they just ship them off to America’s few remaining newspapers,” what with jokes that only make sense in the context of, “Hey, remember that movie in the ’90s, where you saw that lady’s vagina?”
Pluggers are too respectful to call their teachers by their first name, but never could get their head around all these crazy ethnic names they have these days, like “Van Pelt” or whatever Dutch craziness.
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For April Fools’ Day 1997, comic strip writers and artists famously crossed over without their editors’ knowledge to do one another’s strips. Here, check it out. Of course fourteen years on, comics cabals aren’t what they used to be — but let’s see what they’ve got:
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/9/11
Premiering the new hybrid puzzle and kids’ comic, The Jumble: Origins.
Gil Thorp, 3/9/11
Mary Worth‘s Wilbur Weston reads Gil Thorp: “Something something girls something SAMMITCH! something something basketball something.”
Mother Goose and Grimm, 3/9/11
They isk a tide in th’ affairsk of mens,
Which, takink at th’ flood, leads on t’ fourchins;
Omitked, all th’ voya guv their lifes
Isk bound in shallowsk and in miseriesiz!
Funky Winkerbean, 3/9/11
C-list Funky Winkerbean character (how’s that for suicide juice?) and comic author Mopey Pete battles a pair of Tin Age D.C. Comics villains through an anxious night. Hey, Mopes, I know Chien‘s out of the picture, but why not give Dawn a Tweet? I bet she’s still awake!
OK, Mother Goose and and Grimmy the dog … come from FAR AWAY because … um … it’s a different comic and … um … nursery rhymes and … what, maybe Shrek? … DAMMIT BLONDIE CAN I GET A LITTLE HELP HERE?
Cross over to the fabulous side, with a generous donation to the Comics Curmudgeon!
– Uncle Lumpy
Family Circus, 2/25/11
The Family Circus is such a target for snarky Internet contempt that picking on it is a cliché at this point, but I really don’t understand how things like this get cut out and hung on people’s refrigerators, unless your refrigerator is where you keep your birth control and you need a reminder of why it’s very important that you use it. “Mommy, guess how much children you have! Also, guess why ‘children’ is now a mass noun instead of a count noun! It’s because we’re one monstrous organism that slithered out of your womb in four separate parts, but now we’re going to merge together to fulfill the tasks our demon creator has set for us!”
Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/25/11
I know, I’m pretty much programmed to find this funny, but I found it funny. The best part for me is the two characters’ facial expressions — Mary looks alarmed and a little shell-shocked at being discovered, while Rex looks grimly determined. Both are extremely appropriate.
Mark Trail, 2/25/11
“There’s a man inside and he looks … oh my! So handsome, so sexy! I may not be able to resist him! Also, I think he might be dead? But that’s not important right now. Come here honey, help me drag him out of the boat.”