Funky Winkerbean, 10/2/16
Funky Winkerbean has been mired in an extremely tiresome plot where Cindy is jealous because her hunky actor fiance Mason has to kiss a younger non-Cindy lady as part of his hunky acting career. I’m intrigued by today’s panel, though: since the young lady is question is playing the character Jupiter Moon, I suppose that means that in this comic book scenario, Cindy is “Queen Morphine?” Shoutout to Funky Winkerbean for besting Mary Worth and going right past mere opioids and straight into real opiates for its next depressing storyline, is what I’m saying.
In the mid-20th century, there were two near coups against the French government that were launched by military leaders based in Algeria, so this strip isn’t that far from reality! I’m kind enjoying my new imagined alternate history in which Vermin P. Crock is installed by the forces armées françaises as the first president-for-life of the Sixth Republic.
Shoe and Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/2/16
The Perfesser is terrified that he’s going to be condemned to bird hell; meanwhile, Grimm has learned to his horror that in the afterlife dogs are not restored to their healthy form, and if they die rabid they writhe in awful, violent madness eternally. It’s a bad day in the comics for dead animals!
Hagar the Horrible, 7/22/16
One fun thing about strips set in the past is to see which aspects of the strip’s world are kept accurate and which are allowed to drift into anachronisms. For instance, for this joke we have to understand that, unlike actual 10th century Norway, Hagar’s milieu includes hotels, honeymoons, room service, and brochures. But at least it doesn’t include file cabinets. Thank god. That would’ve been a bridge too far! No, Hagar and Helga just keep their treasured memories in an actual treasure chest, the way real Vikings did.
Funky Winkerbean, 7/22/16
Haha, remember earlier this week when I mentioned how hard it is for readers to reconcile the new-style Funkyverse gloom with old-style wacky hijinks? Well, I guess it was hard for the author, too! Anyway, beloved Funky Winkerbean character Darin, biological son to tragically dead Lisa, is now himself tragically dead, shot through the heart in front of his best friend by a scared, angry sailor in the midst of wacky hijinks/attempted piracy. He is survived by his loving wife, who lost her father to an act of violence years ago, and his infant son. He will be missed.
Mother Goose and Grimm and Shoe, 7/22/16
Here’s a couple syndicated newspaper comics about old, wizened dudes defiantly and somewhat derangedly sneering at their looming, inevitable death, in what is definitely not a metaphor for the medium as a whole at all, no sir!
Mary Worth, 6/8/16
Pretty cool to know that Harlan has given a lot of thought to the dynamic of the little two-dog pack he has going on over at his sad little apartment! One question, though: if Harlan’s the alpha dog, why’d he name the other dog Alfie? Seems unnecessarily confusing. And if he’d named it “Beta-y”, he could just claim he was inspired by beloved St. Louis Hawks star Zelmo Beaty.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/8/16
Wait, why is Snuffy debating the sheriff? Is he running for sheriff? While I wouldn’t put it past Snuffy to try to take control of local law enforcement and declare all crime legal, that would be a lot more democracy than we’d ever seen in Hootin’ Holler. More likely this “town hall debate” is an pretext for the gathered residents to violently eject from the Holler the only representative of the distant, hated government. Presumably the arguing will be over whether the sheriff should be allowed to flee after being roughed up a bit, or if his body should simply be dumped just over the county line.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/8/16
St. Bernards traditionally carry liquor in their little casks, and hipster small-batch liquor is definitely a thing, so it saddens me that this joke is about bubbly water. C’mon, Mother Goose and Grimm, booze jokes are OK in the comics again! Thirsty Thurston’s back to being an obvious drunk! Go nuts!
Beetle Bailey, 6/8/16
So Beetle’s shorts came off but his hat didn’t? A likely story. That isn’t even his usual hat. And look at his exaggerated sweating as he pleads his case! I recognize consensual public nudity-based humiliation play when I see it.