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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/2/26

Look, I get that they might have been misled by the “racing days” reference, but it’s embarrassing that these two birds have mistaken their fellow avian for a horse. This is just proof that they’re very stupid and, despite their ability to talk in the context of these Barney Google and Snuffy Smith Present … Sparkplug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky strips, it’s actually fine that Snuffy is going to steal them from his neighbors so Loweezy can kill and cook them.

Dick Tracy, 11/2/26

I know I’ve recently celebrated Dick Tracy’s turn back to the macabre, but I have to say the strip may have gone too far today. Streaming media personalities? In the comics? No thanks. Oh also the family appears to have murdered their pinheaded nurse, to cover up their various crimes, I guess.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/2/26

I am ignoring whatever joke they’re attempting to implement here, but I do want to point out that it’s now strip canon that the title characters can just drop by the office of Satan, the great Adversary, which is clearly in the depths of Hell itself, whenever they feel like. Not sure if we’re meant to understand that they have the power to move back and forth across the veil that separates the worlds of the living and the dead, or if they in fact inhabit Hell full time themselves, and the various misadventures we see them get into represent some kind of ironic punishment tailored specifically for them, due to their sins.

Mary Worth, 11/2/26

It’s day 17 of the siege by various law enforcement agencies that began when Mary hung Nelly Fenele’s flayed skin on the gates of Charterstone as a warning to those who would dare betray her. The feds thought it would take only a few days for the hungry residents to turn on the woman the media is calling “The Butcher of Santa Royale,” but the produce from the Charterstone garden has so far been enough to keep everyone loyal. Thank goodness for mild California weather!

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/30/26

I will reluctantly agree that “gummy bear” -> “Smokey has no teeth” is a decent joke and I can see the appeal of committing it to comic strip form. However, I cannot condone this particular visual interpretation, in which Smokey seems genuinely shocked by his own gumminess, as if his teeth had been cruelly ripped from his mouth mere moments ago and he’s not only suffering intense pain but realizing he’ll no longer be able to rip and tear meat, crack bones, or crush tough plant matter — all important aspects of the bear lifestyle.

Family Circus, 10/30/26

I guess Jeffy is supposed to look sheepish, but to me it honestly seems like he’s rolling his eyes at his sister. Dolly, you idiot, you philistine, for his costume he’s a practitioner of the ancient, storied art of clowning. His role is to act the fool and hold up a distorted mirror to our society and ourselves. Every day is April Fool, to him! He’s in character!

Mary Worth, 10/30/26

Tommy, have you seen the amount of muffins this woman produces? Do you think she’s interested in gluten-free anything? Your interrogation is going to be extra painful now.

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Mary Worth, 10/18/26

Oh, wow, as predicted by literally everybody, Mary and Ian weren’t engaged in a sexual relationship after all; they were simply spending lots of time together because Ian is simply too dumb to know how to make a reservation at a restaurant or an all-inclusive resort, both of which I assume have both phone numbers and websites, and he was deliriously grateful that Mary was able to help out. Why, they even had a big laugh together about how ill-equipped Ian is to successfully complete even the most basic of everyday life tasks. The best thing about this big reveal is that Wilbur, Dawn, Saul, Eve, and … I think that’s Tommy? … are all party invitees, which means that the exact same people who eagerly spread the gossip about Ian and Mary also presumably knew that Ian and Mary were planning a surprise party for Toby together. It also means that Toby has no actual friends, because I don’t think she’s ever hung out with any of these people on a non-Charterstone-pool-party basis.

Dustin, 10/18/26

Now, I know most of us think about Dustin as “that unlikeable dipshit who’s marginally less unlikeable than his father.” But he has some layers to him that you might not expect! For instance, did you know he’s also haunted by thoughts of death, and how he’ll be remembered after it in this world and what he’ll experience in the next?

Hi and Lois, 10/18/26

Speaking of the afterlife, can you imagine risking eternal damnation just to watch a Jaguars-Texans game? Seems not worth it, to me. On the other hand, given that the pews here are full of random comic and cartoon characters, Hi is probably having some kind of hallucinatory experience, which makes the fact that he’s making sure to keep up on Jags-Texans action even more pathetic.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/18/26

We’re all familiar with Pinocchio, of course, the beloved wooden puppet who came to life. Can you imagine if Pinocchio were real, and worried about venereal disease? Probably in that context he’d think about termites, right? Termites that would eat his wooden penis? Anyway, that’s not a puppet lady who he’s ogling, so I personally think he should learn more about the human body and the various organisms that make up its extended biome before he goes around trying to have sex with us.