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Comics archive! Spider-Man

“Costumed cretin” remains a delightfully sick burn

Spider-Man, 11/20/14

Oh, man, sequels! I love a sequel! This storyline just launching in Spider-Man is itself a sequel to the storyline about filming the first Marvella that ran in this strip back in 2006. Mr. Smiley, who had a slightly less dumb beard back then, managed to make Marvella profitable with innovative filmmaking techniques like just filming fight scenes in one take with no stunt supervision, so look for more of that this time around! That storyline also ended with our hero being knocked unconscious by a butler wearing a silly hat, so I’m really looking forward to this.

Apartment 3-G, 11/20/14

How much would I pay to see Margo give the wedding planner version of the “like tears in rain” speech from Blade Runner? “I’ve … seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Drunken bridesmaids weeping on the shoulder of Orion. Centerpieces on fire, glittering in the darkness in the Main Ballroom at the Ramada Inn and Conference Center in White Plains. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears, in rain, on your wedding day. Time … to see if the bartenders have any champagne left over.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/20/14

Dennis’s neighborhood has somehow devolved into Somalia-style anarchy, and he and Joey are trying to get ahead in the warlord game by setting up sidewalk checkpoints. Pretty menacing!

Friday quickies

Spider-Man, 11/7/14

The current Spider-Man plot is wrapping up with a delicious slab of exposition, and for me the hero of the hour is the cop in panel three, rubbing his head and looking immensely self-satisfied for no discernable reason. “So do we lock ’im up — or give ’im a medal? Eh? Eh? Moral ambiguity?”

Funky Winkerbean, 11/7/14

The Scapegoat football team is in the championship game! And Head Coach Bull Bushka is … offering a bribe to the ref? He appears to be offering a bribe to the ref.

Mark Trail, 11/7/14

OH MY GOD CHERRY HAS CLEAVAGE AND A NAVEL AND MARK HAS NIPPLES AND MUSCULAR FOREARMS WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE

Say, wasn’t … wasn’t Rusty going to go on this adventure at some point? stay belowdecks, Rusty, hide your eyes, you mustn’t see

Monday one-liners

Heathcliff, 10/27/14

After a nightmarish curse left the town’s inhabitants irrevocably transformed, the damned souls are taking hesitant steps towards recognizing one another and reclaiming some part of their lost humanity.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/27/14

Just another day in the teachers’ lounge, laughing it up about the endless parade of genetic defectives that make up Westview’s children!

Crankshaft, 10/27/14

Although 10 years earlier kids in the nearby town of Centerville went on a violent, terrifying rampage when Crankshaft’s family ran out of candy, so maybe Les and his cronies are right to view the local youth with mingled contempt and disgust.

Spider-Man, 10/27/14

Despite his best efforts, Spider-Man will in fact be rescued from his primary antagonist by his secondary antagonist.

Apartment 3-G, 10/27/14

NO MARGO YOU JUST STARTED TALKING OUT LOUD THAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU SAID YOU’RE SAYING YOU WANT TO DO