Archive: Spider-Man

Post Content

Spider-Man, 7/9/18

How would rumors like that spread, anyway? “Listen, there may or may not be this one guy, dunno who, and he fights a hypothetical sect called The Hand! They’re famous for keeping their activities, identity, and their very existence completely secret: nobody’s ever heard of them, and everybody knows it! Maybe this guy fights them with his hand? No way to tell! Don’t hold me to any of this, OK? Pass it on!”

Mary Worth, 7/9/18

Hey, you two, I have nothing but respect for your respective sobrieties; Tommy, you have apparently turned your life around yet again, way to go. But before you go getting all boldface, accept that maybe not every waitress is on fire for details of your personal journeys? Think of “Just order your damn drink” as a thirteenth step or something.

Judge Parker, 7/9/18

(Sigh)

No, Neddy, they didn’t — they asked where you were. Ronnie Huerta invented that whole drug thing after the fact. Are you on drugs or something?

Haha Sam is shopping online for a matching lamp. Maybe the strip is so deeply invested in desk lamps because the lawyers don’t have any actual work to put on their desks?

Crankshaft, 7/9/18

♫ Love is the drug got a hook in Ralph! ♬

The only real question is how soon this ends badly.


— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Six Chix, 7/2/18

Panel 3: “Gastroenterologist”

Dick Tracy, 7/2/18

OK, I am legit super stoked about this story, partly because I’m just sure it’s going to catch us up on the Space Coupe of Doom last seen in 2013 heading to Jupiter carrying Mysta-fabricators Dr. Sail and Dr. Ghote in the hands of the solar system’s worst pilot. But mostly I’m stoked because I remember the Chester Gould Moon stories from the late ’60’s and early ’70’s, and that shit was lit, yo. So we’re all in for a treat, at least until Sawtooth, the Green Hornet, Blackjack, one or more of the Margies, the Brush, Posie Ermine, or any of the countless other loose ends turns up again.

Sherman’s Lagoon, 7/2/18

Assuming they can get Alberto the triton snail there to both get chomping and overcome his painful awkwardness with the lady snails, Sherman and Megan are going to save the Great Barrier Reef! Responsible stewards of a complex ecosystem, or selfish hoarders of their supply of edible tourists? You be the judge!

Hey, they’re Great Whites! Maybe they can help us choke down Walt Wallet!

Spider-Man, 7/2/18

“Wow, that one guy I never heard of is really that other guy I never heard of! This changes everything!

Zits, 7/2/18

Ahem, young lady! Jack Dorsey, Richard Branson, and Elon Musk all wish to have a word with you. Mark Zuckerberg is strangely silent.


— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Gasoline Alley, 6/30/18

Every few years, Gasoline Alley teases us that supercentenarian Walt Wallet is headed for the Old Comics Home, a kind of heaven for discontinued comic-strip characters. But it was a lie and a cheat in 2006, and a cheat and a lie in 2013. Will no one rid us of this troublesome coot?

Maybe this time. Here, Team Alley promises to put Walt away for good, with a “roast and toast affair” that will cook, slice, and serve him up on open-face sandwiches. Farewell, honored patriarch, and bon appétit, everybody! Glue down those dentures, folks — there’s a-gonna be some chewin’!

Phantom, 6/30/18

Since its origins in 1936, Phantom has threaded the needle pretty tight on issues of colonialism and race. So it’s refreshing to see today’s unambiguous repudiation of “one drop of blood” racial classification. It’s also pretty savvy of Team Bandar to top up the Phantom with blood from warrior Babudan — Guran’s is basically donuts dissolved in palm wine. Which would make him a plugger, I guess?

Spider-Man, 6/30/18

Aw, look at these two, bickering with Fate when they were clearly Meant to Be. Soon, they will cover the ground together. So much ground!

Luann, 6/30/18

Grr, all right here is your precious Luann.

You know, for the pragmatic, hypercapable member of Team Tonad, Toni keeps getting basic mechanics wrong: using a torque wrench for disassembly, or setting up her pipe wrench to tighten that hose coupling. Seems to have the arm strength, though. And those mitts are the size of her head!


Hello, faithful readers! I’ll be sitting in through Wednesday July 11, as Josh nobly attends to family duties in faraway France while the rest of us sweat it out here. SO UNFAIR. Reach me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if the site gives you trouble. No need to alert me to comments in moderation, though — I get automatic updates. Enjoy!

— Uncle Lumpy