Archive: Mary Worth

Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 10/19/25

When Yuri Gagarin made the first human spaceflight, there were concerns that the experimental capsule he rode into space in would land too roughly for him to survive, so he actually ejected from the craft about four miles up and parachuted to the ground. He landed on a collective farm and, still wearing his space suit and helmet, almost caused a local woman and her granddaughter to panic, but he told them “Don’t be afraid, I am a Soviet citizen like you, who has descended from space — and I must find a telephone to call Moscow!” Beetle, unfortunately, will receive no heroic welcome, just an all-American suspicious invocation of property rights.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/19/25

I do enjoy the different facial expressions on the sheriff and the judge in the final panel. The judge, who still believes that he’s operating within an impartial system of justice, an objective institution that stands above petty squabbles, looks put out by Snuffy’s jibe. But Sheriff Tait, who holds elected office — indeed, as far as we know he’s the only elected official the residents of Hootin’ Holler ever interact with — he gives our boy Snuffy a sly smile. He knows what Snuffy’s talking about! He knows all too well!

Mary Worth, 10/19/25

Hey, do you ever worry about our direction as a country, and, frankly, as a species? Well, have faith: in New York City, there’s a thirteen-year-old who can sort of see the future and talk to dogs with her mind, in very specific circumstances. I think we can all agree that she’s the answer to all our problems. Nothing more to worry about, let’s move on to the next story and find out what’s up with [spins giant wheel] Tommy, like is he on drugs again or what.

Post Content

Blondie, 10/18/25

God, I love how genuinely sad Dagwood looks in panel two. Sure, he loves his wife more than anything, but he also made some big promises and sweeping declarations to that sandwich when they were alone together. He’s sorry it had to hear this now, in its last moments before it slides unchewed down his gullet. He hopes it will still remember the good times they’ve had together, and the genuine affection in which he’s always held it.

Mary Worth, 10/18/25

I know that Mary and Olive billed this visit as a “mini-vacation” but I have to say “all I had time to do on my cross-country trip is briefly meet some dogs in a condo parking lot and then almost die in a hot air balloon mishap” is truly mini indeed. I guess it’s possible that Olive’s parents heard about the accident on the news, or, given that this is the year 2025, saw a clip of it in a “CRAZY HOT AIR BALLOON MISHAPS” YouTube compilation, and decided that was a little much even by their notoriously lax parenting standards, so they summoned her home early because “we think she has to start going to school or whatever soon.”

Pluggers, 10/18/25

I know pluggers are tired of being told they could learn a thing or two from young people today, but: hey, pluggers! The young people today aren’t answering their phones at all, at any time of day! You too could be that free!

Post Content

Marvin, 10/16/25

Lately, when I bring up Marvin as an example of a strip that loves talking about peeing and pooping, some people in the comments will try to gaslight me about it, claiming the strip really hasn’t done much by way of toilet humor since 2023 or so. Well, look at this! Bitsy the dog is like, “I love to defecate and I want to do more of it,” and that’s the punchline! Don’t try to deny what I can see with my own eyes!

Mary Worth, 10/16/25

Have you enjoyed the last 87 years of “Mary Worth meddles gently in the lives of her friends and acquaintances?” Well, that’s over now. Get ready for “Mary Worth has an unshakeable belief that many people are capable of ESP, and has a new mission to find them and Awaken the Gift inside them.”

Dustin, 10/16/25

Meg, this is no time to crack wise! Your brother has experienced a serious head injury and appears to be in some distress!

Archie, 10/16/25

Sorry, Dilton, I’m going to be straight with you: put the glasses back on. You don’t look very good at all without them! Don’t give in to peer pressure!