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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/4/26

Yeah, it is a good thing they aren’t playing for money! Imagine if the Smifs had learned that Sukey, a being that they have long treated as a beast and a possession that does manual labor at their bidding, were intelligent enough to understand the concept of the exchange value of currency — and, moreover, had somehow already acquired possession of enough of it to wager. The implications would be truly horrific.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 3/4/26

After some reflection, I’m OK with an entire Mother Goose and Grimm strip that consists of a glimpse into the internal monologue of a character we’ve never seen before as he dances with Mother Goose. What’s unsettling me is that he’s a human and none of said monologue includes reflection on the fact that he’s dancing with a human-sized bird. Do you think he already mentally covered that ground before we got here? Do you think he has a plan for when Ma Goose’s person-sized bird boyfriend shows up, and tries to peck him to death or swat at him with his powerful wings?

Mary Worth, 3/4/26

Ah, man, I guess it’s time to start the “blame game” for why our boy Harvey has gotten himself catfished. I think we can all agree that it’s probably a woman’s fault, and “Trixie”’s puppeteer isn’t even female, so I guess the problem is … Harvey’s daughter, for living a fun go-go single life in fast-paced Goleta and not spending her every waking moment monitoring his screen time? Enh, that’ll do.

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Luann, 3/3/26

Look, man, I get that comic strip time is in some ways just an insurmountable problem for strips where the characters don’t really age, but the way you get around this problem is by just kind of ignoring it and not by having your character mention the impact that an important historical event that happened 25 years ago had on their career journey. Is Brad in his mid 40s now? Is Luann a period piece that takes place sometime before 2012 or so? Does Luann take place in an alternate universe where 9/11 happened in, like, 2019? Those are the three options, and you brought this on yourself by being specific, Luann.

Mary Worth, 3/3/26

“That’s just the way of the world these days! No doubt she’s spending her time convincing a much older man that she’s his girlfriend and getting him to send her intermittent Venmo payments. That’s the 21st century for you!”

Pluggers, 3/3/26

BIG NEWS: Pluggers have heard about ChatGPT and they think it’s for … finding mayonnaise? We might have to consider shutting down human society and technological advances entirely until we can figure out what’s going on.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/1/26

Ah, it looks like our runaway ex-Hollywood starlet, now desperate to eschew fame, is about to run into our own Mud Mountain Murphy, who has something of a complicated relationship with fame himself! You might recall that Mud was so intent on getting a headlining spot at a roots country show that he pretended to shit himself on stage to move his set later in the order; subsequently, however, thanks to the phoney-baloney Mirakle Method, he became a better person. Still, the Method also helped him find fame as “Li’l Fergus”, and he seems very twitchy about how his headshot should be on the wall of this crappy motel lobby, so it might take the love (?) of a good (???) woman to set him straight once and for all.

Mary Worth, 3/1/26

Oh, interesting, it looks like this Mary Worth plot isn’t going to be about sinister AI, but actually about the very grim reality of most so-called pig butchering scams. It turns out that if you got tricked out of tens of thousands of dollars in bitcoin by a fake online romantic partner, the conversations you were having are less likely to be with a cackling Danny DeVito lookalike and more likely to be with one of tens of thousands of people who have been recruited under false pretenses and enslaved in compounds along the Thai-Cambodian border. And sure, AI will end up making lots of white-collar jobs obsolete, but it will probably soon be able to do scam convos well enough that the criminal syndicates that profit off these cons will soon find that kidnapping people is no longer cost effective, so who’s to say if it’s good or bad.