Archive: Mary Worth

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Mary Worth, 12/25/25

Why hello, faithful readers! Did you have an enjoyable holiday? Did you spend Christmas Day with your “friends,” or exactly one friend, your ostensible “boyfriend,” and the two of you took the time to contemplate the glory and majesty of your Christmas tree while simultaneously side-hugging each other?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/26/25

Or did you spend it like Rex, eagerly awaiting the moment (12:01 a.m., December 26th) when you could definitively put all the decorative holiday crap directly into the trash and get things back to normal?

Dick Tracy, 12/27/25

Anyway, lots of fun stuff happened in the comics over the past week and a half! Like, remember Ghost Cat, the cat with the powers of a ghost, or possibly the ghost with the powers of a cat? Well, he can shoot a flashlight beam out of his chest, which is definitely not a cat ability but I’m also pretty sure not a ghost ability, so I guess it’s a secret third thing.

Gil Thorp, 12/27/25

In other news, Gil Thorp got engaged! Congrats to Gil on going from “extremely divorced” to “engaged to his significantly younger rebound girlfriend,” which, between you and me, is just another more specific kind of extremely divorced.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/29/25

Oh, also, Rex Morgan is going blind or whatever. This is what happens when you take down the Christmas decorations too early! Santa takes away your eyesight! They don’t have any little Christmas carols about that one specifically, but it’s true, that’s one of his powers, he will make you blind, so you better watch out.

Mark Trail, 12/30/25

Mark Trail is wearing a union suit dealing with some Texas flooding (ripped from the headlines of six months ago) while accompanying an expedition of ladies hunting feral hogs (ripped from a 2019 viral tweet). This gives one of the ladies the opportunity to say “Oh no! All our hogs washed away!” which I think is funny! I just think it’s a fun thing to say!

Gil Thorp, 1/2/26

“I have several, father … any plans to have more children?” is also a fun one! I guess my only problem with it is that it really is just one more question, though maybe Jami is waiting for the hubbub he’s unleashed to die down before moving on to the next subject.

Mary Worth, 12/30/25 and 1/4/26

Meanwhile, over in the wildly dysfunctional Cameron household, Ian decided to deploy a neighbor’s cat … for evil! But unlike Mary, who managed to use a cat to successfully keep Jeff out of her apartment for weeks, Ian was foiled in his evil plotting, discovering that both these creatures have been infected by the woke mind virus of domestication and have decided to become best friends rather than trying to kill one another. Look forward to more of this action in the coming days, unless Ian dies abruptly of a rage-stroke!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/4/26

In other medical news, Rex has cataracts, it turns out, and he has to go under someone else’s knife in order to be rid of them. He’s just going to have to let go and trust his surgeon — but should he, really? Are ophthalmologists even real doctors? Should he do it himself, maybe? Could he pull it off, because of what a great doctor he is?

You’ll find out the answers to all these questions and more in 2026! It’s a new year but the same Comics Curmudgeon, which is to say the world’s great internet blog, bringing you comics jokes every day. Thank you as ever for your readership, which you are required by law and prevailing honor codes to maintain. Happy New Year, everybody!

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Mary Worth, 12/24/25

As is my tradition, I will be knocking off for the holiday week and will return to blogging at some point in the new year, like around January … 2nd? 4th? Enh, somewhere in there. I hope you enjoy spending the next few days with your friends, family, or loved ones, or maybe with a bird you found on the side of the road somewhere. I won’t judge, unlike Mary Worth! You do you! Reject your overbearing, much older husband for a bird who poops everywhere! Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law, and if thou wilt do it with a parrot, then let it be done!

Meanwhile, I will send you off to your long winter’s nap with the top comment of a brief week:

“At least the panel reveals enough so that we can be reassured that at least Thirsty is wearing pants.” –Pozzo

And the runners up are funny as well!

“A senior holding a smartphone up to their ear rather than speakerphone at maximum volume? I call bullshit.” –Rex Thrillho, on BlueSky

“Sunny eavesdropping, to see if there’s a plot afoot. When he hears Mary blathering her usual generic drivel, he knows that his triumph will be swift and effortless.” –MKay

“The Legion, being far removed from traditional civilization and engaged in harsh colonial violence, would eventually turn to mockery of Christ’s origin story for their own material gain. It’s hardly 120 Days of Sodom, but the Marquis De Sade would appreciate the spirit of this comic’s turn.” –Philip

“Suddenly this feels like some kind of an After School Special warning against getting hooked on birds. Not a parrot, not a cockatiel, not even a budgie, kids. Not even once.” –pugfuggly

“I initially read that as ‘How do you like your renal care?’, which didn’t affect the ‘joke’ at all.” –Aaron

Tell him I would like to have a boyfriend for more than just the span of one strip where he’s needed for a gag and is never mentioned before or after.” –Peanut Gallery

“Toby’s solution is to never leave Ian and Sunny alone together again. Her life is going to become an ongoing version of the ‘fox-chicken-grain’ puzzle.” –TheDiva

“His spiraling descent into madness complete, Buck signals ‘Touchdown!’, even though there is no football game anywhere in sight.” –Bob Tice

“We can see from the clock on the mantel that it’s … well, 4 in the afternoon would be a weird time for a home visit from Santa, so it must be 4 a.m. I’m guessing the kids were too excited to sleep this close to Christmas, so they woke up early and snuck downstairs … only to find Thirsty in their living room, which he’s secretly been sleeping ever since his wife kicked him out because he got drunk while playing Santa at a party and let inappropriate ladies sit on his lap. So now he’s stuck pretending to be the real Santa, or at least desperately trying to keep the kids quiet before their parents wake up and finally call the cops on him. Of course, then he could threaten to call CPS on them, because what is their baby doing crawling around the house and playing under the Christmas tree with zero adult supervision, anyway? It’s a standoff that’s been years in the making, and we get to see it just in time for the holidays!” –BigTed

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Alice, 12/22/25

One of the distinctive features of Alice comics is the little … title? caption? … that goes in the bottom margin. Usually it just sort of adds to the vibe, but sometimes it’s important for the narrative. For instance, real Alice fans (which I assume include all of you) know that just a few weeks ago she was declaring that new cars don’t need “all that stuff,” and it’s making them too expensive. So you’d be tempted to angrily declare “Alice! I can’t believe you’re backsliding on all the features new cars have!” except then you look down at the bottom of the panel and see the word “backsliding,” so you know she’s being self-aware about it.

Shoe, 12/22/25

Speaking of real fans, real Shoe fans instantly recognize “Madame Zoo Doo,” the strip’s resident psychic, just from her character design. I personally don’t think it’s realistic that she’d bring her crystal ball with her to lunch at Roz’s diner. It’s not necessary and frankly a little insulting to think that we wouldn’t recognize her without it. I demand that my relationship with this syndicated newspaper comic about depressed bird-people be grounded in mutual respect!

Mary Worth, 12/22/25

Wait, is Toby changing her plans because she wants to spend more time with Sunny, and she can’t at her friend’s opening? Because “A semi-professional art gallery in a small California college town has a strict no-birds policy” is actually one of the less realistic propositions Mary Worth has ever offered us.