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Shoe, 10/29/26

I don’t think you should bring your own botox to a party. I think botox should be supplied and injected by trained and licensed medical professionals! Call me a stick in the mud who doesn’t align with current government policy on this topic, but I feel strongly about it.

Flash Gordon, 10/29/26

As you know, I mostly don’t comment on new-look Flash Gordon here except to note how cool it is and that you should definitely be reading it. It dips deep into the strip’s lore for a lot of stuff but also isn’t afraid to stake out new narrative territory, including, apparently, “Dr. Zarkov has been low-key fucking his way through the Mongolithic lady scientist community ever since he arrived on this planet.”

Herb and Jamaal, 10/29/26

“God would never tell anyone to eat at this place,” thinks Rev. Croom. “I would know: I eat here every day, having been tempted to do so by Satan. I only do it to better know the Enemy, so I can defeat him!”

Mary Worth, 10/29/26

“He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed! Doesn’t always understand what’s going on! Truly unequipped for even the basics of navigating daily life! Dumber than a pillowcase full of doorknobs!” [suddenly starts sobbing] “Mary, I love him SO MUCH”

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Blondie, 10/27/26

I know I complain about Dagwood a lot as a character in this strip, but I have to say that one of my absolute least favorite Blondie running gags is when some tediously zany characters come in to Blondie’s catering business to request some wacky theme banquet, and Blondie just taps away on her keyboard like an idiot while they do their little routine. It’s all just depressingly by-the-numbers and unfunny. And, as today’s strip makes clear, these people apparently launch into their little routines rather than just explaining what they want in plain English, which is even more depressingly stupid.

Hi and Lois, 10/27/26

A frequent topic of chatter in the comments of this website is that Chip Flagston looks very little like Hi and very much like both like Hi’s next door neighbor and best friend “Thirsty” Thurston and the garbage man (named either Abercrombie or Fitch, and I refuse to look up which one the blond one is). I have taken the high road and ignored this salacious gossip, instead simply taking it as evidence that Hi and Lois has a single character model for “slovenly slacker type,” but today’s strip, in which Lois admires the garbageman’s physical prowess and asks him if he works out while they both smile broadly, is kind of hard to ignore.

Mary Worth, 10/27/26

“Yeah, he’s the one who I heard it from! So I guess talking to you has been a huge waste of time as per usual, Saul.”

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Hi and Lois, 10/25/26

Given how much time I spent parsing Hi’s fantasy self-image as a young Major Leaguer a few weeks ago, I’m kind of tickled by his vision of his real childhood, where he looks exactly like he does now, same haircut and everything, except smaller, and his dad looks exactly like he does now except with a mustache. Speaking of Hi’s dad, it’s kind of weird that Hi and Lois are probably in their early 40s at the oldest and they never seem to visit or be visited by their parents, right? I guess spending fall weekends cheerfully breathing in a toxic mix of fine particulate matter and carcinogenic chemicals might have something to do with it.

Heathcliff, 10/25/26

Not to be a downer about it, but a big bone-in ham like that is basically a corpse, right? Or at least a sizable chunk of one? So I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that it’s inhabited by a vengeful ghost of some kind, though the fact that it’s haunted by three of them implies that we know a lot less about matters of the spirit than we may think.

Mary Worth, 10/25/26

Lot going on here, but the panel I’m really hung up on is “People gossip about things they don’t comprehend.” I mean, I buy that most people don’t comprehend why Toby and Ian are together. That’s because they don’t know them well enough to get a sense of the various personality problems that have significantly limited both of their romantic prospects.

Panel from Dick Tracy, 10/25/26

Oh, come on, Crimestoppers Textbook! Carmen Sandiego and her coconspirators at V.I.L.E. have their sights set on stealing historic treasures and natural monuments. They have no time for petty door-to-door-salesperson scams!