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Gil Thorp, 11/13/24

Oh yeah, remember Coach Perm Gerads, who briefly seemed like he might be Gil’s new nemesis but then he got beat up by his own students? Well, this sent him on a downward spiral into madness that delivered him here, his perm now stringy and wild, promising to eat a shoe for the amusement of the sort of layabouts and yahoos who watch local TV during the middle of the day. Gil at one point was doing his own ads for this used car impresario, and if you need to know what this Valley Conference grandee thinks of the relative strengths of the Goshen and Milford squads, run the numbers on the proposed trade here: if Goshen wins, Fox promises to reduce their revenues by 50% indefinitely, which would swiftly bankrupt the dealership, and if Milford wins, Coach Gerards will livestream himself doing something humiliating, which will cost Fox nothing and also bring new subscribers to the dealership’s various social channels.

Judge Parker, 11/13/24

I would’ve thought that Problematic Age Gap Discourse was very late 2023/early 2024, but apparently we’re going to get some in Judge Parker, which is fine because I find Glen’s facial expression in panel one very amusing. Also I will note that he is supposed to be in his early 20s and has shown up for his date with his college sophomore girlfriend wearing a grey suit jacket and a white dress shirt, which may signal a Problematic Coolness Gap that the stubble simply cannot mitigate.

Gasoline Alley, 11/13/24

I feel like “Look at Saturn’s rings while you can, kids!” is a pretty ominous statement, like it clearly implies that this is the last they’ll see of them, and the final panel really doesn’t fully walk it back. What does Arty the AI know about certain Events that will happen in the next twelve months that will result in these children, and possibly the rest of our species, never seeing Saturn’s rings again? Guess we’ll find out, haha!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/13/24

Finally, after nearly 80 years, “Bunky” has returned to this strip. Who knows what sort of wild, exciting gags this will provide opportunities for? [LITERALLY ONE DAY LATER] Hey, you guys heard about this pumpkin spice stuff? You heard about this?

Dennis the Menace, 11/13/24

Aw, look at Martha’s face! Even after all these years she’s tickled by George’s bullshit. I think it’s sweet!

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/12/24

As we move inexorably into a post-newspaper world, we do have to ask ourselves: who are the comics, as a genre and as individual strips, for, exactly? Primarily, they are for me, so I can continue to make fun of them on this blog, so I have to thank everyone involved for doing this for me personally and, downstream from that, for you, my faithful readers. But also they are for (and I suppose there is some overlap with the previous answer) weird comic strip obsessives who love the obscure history of this medium. This is a group that Dick Tracy has been pursuing with gusto for some time; Barney Google and Snuffy Smith is the second-oldest newspaper strip running, just a few months behind Gasoline Alley, so why shouldn’t they get in on the game? Why shouldn’t they bring back Bunky, the main character of a BG&SS “topper” strip that ran from 1927 to 1948? Is a new generation ready for the antics of a “strangely erudite newborn,” or at least ready to nod sagely and say “I understood that reference?” Only one way to find out!

Daddy Daze, 11/12/24

Speaking of strangely erudite newborns, I find the Daddy Daze daddy’s little smile in the final panel profoundly sad. Look, man, you know the “ba”s don’t mean anything, right? You only imbue them with semantic content because you spend all your time with a preverbal infant and are desperately lonely and understimulated, and fantasizing that you have bested this imaginary version of your child in a battle of wits is one of the most poignant and pathetic things I’ve ever seen.

Mary Worth, 11/12/24

Speaking of poignant and pathetic things, I’ll never get tired of Dr. Jeff just kind of hinting that he’d like to marry Mary and getting immediately shot down. Mary has it good now, meaning that she is no way legally responsible for the loan and insurance payments on this ridiculous boat, and she’d frankly like to keep it that way.

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Dustin, 11/5/24

The thing about Dustin is that it’s a perfect machine of hateability, in the sense that there isn’t a single recurring character that I have any real warm feelings for. Dustin’s sister Meg in some ways escapes my ire the most, because she has very little in terms of revealed personality and exists only to make rude comments about her brother and parents and occasionally be reprimanded for dressing too slutty. Today, however, we learn that her misanthropic attitude extends beyond her family to the human race at large, and frankly I would love to learn more about Doomer Goth Meg in future installments of this strip.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/5/24

A sobering discovery of the late 20th and early 21st centuries is that, in many places that embraced electoral democracy, it functions less as a way for wise or efficacious policies and ideas to be debated and endorsed by the citizen body, and more as a head-counting exercise: different interest groups within a society, many of them ethnic- or clan-based, use the vote as a means to assert their numbers and power rather than to win in the marketplace of ideas. While this might not be what the Enlightenment philosophers and America’s founding fathers had in mind, you have to admit that the Smifs and the Barlows taunting each other by means of “I Voted” buttons is preferable to their usual means of settling disputes (murdering one another with antique rifles and whatever other makeshift weapons they can lay their hands on).