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Archive: Barney Google & Snuffy Smith

144

The hills have eyes, and lolling tongues

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/5/25

Oh, wow, it turns out that this Rex Morgan, M.D., plot is going to involve — brace yourself — interpersonal conflict??? Specifically, it looks like Augie based the protagonist in his sought-after thriller novel on his girlfriend, whose permission he did not obtain in advance! I guess she’s currently working very hard to get her head around the concept of a fictional character who has many things in common with a real person but is not a one-for-one analogue, but trust me, once she figures that out she’ll be mad about the other thing.

Marvin, 11/5/25

Hey, this series started out cute enough but I am calling it now: it got real dark real fast. That poor overbred dog is in pain and his owner is laffing it up on the golf course! Let’s go back to the piss stuff, it’s less emotionally harrowing.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/5/25

I’m sorry, I refuse to believe that the isolated and impoverished residents of Hootin’ Holler would have the resources or the desire to participate in the wider service-based economy in this way. It’s more likely that they’ve lured this poor flatlander up into the hills so they can murder him with axes, steal his blade-sharpening equipment, and disassemble his van for scrap metal.

177

“The Bum Boat never disappoints” is a phrase that will haunt my nightmares

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Mary Worth, 10/28/25

Wow, did you know that Dr. Jeff doesn’t even like seafood? Did you know he’s just been choking it down every other week for years, just for a chance to spend an hour or two in Mary’s presence? She knows it, too. “My sole filet is delicious. How are your scallops tonight, Jeff?” she asks, knowing that they make him want to puke, but it doesn’t matter. She’s already filleted his soul. Maybe that’s why he bought his boat: he thought that if she loved fish so much, surely she’d love being on the open water with him even more. And maybe he’ll eventually find the courage to simply head out to sea and never come back.

Dennis the Menace, 10/28/25

You know, everyone seems to be enjoying whatever it is Dennis whipped up in the blender, and sure, Joey’s an idiot, but he’s also a feeble little boy who probably couldn’t handle something really disgusting, and Gina’s always been the most sensible character in the cast. There isn’t even any mess on the counter! None of this is menacing at all! The colorists had to make the smoothie or whatever it is a weird set of hues just to imply some menacing, but it’s not working on me. I don’t buy it!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/28/25

An economic landscape where it’s somehow economically advantageous for a dentist to drum up more business by ruining kids’ teeth, but also advantageous for a doctor to invest in preventative care, seems unspeakably perverse, so I’m going to avoid doing the kind of research that I fear will tell me that it’s exactly the system we operate within today.

143

The past, the future, etc.

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Beetle Bailey, 10/19/25

When Yuri Gagarin made the first human spaceflight, there were concerns that the experimental capsule he rode into space in would land too roughly for him to survive, so he actually ejected from the craft about four miles up and parachuted to the ground. He landed on a collective farm and, still wearing his space suit and helmet, almost caused a local woman and her granddaughter to panic, but he told them “Don’t be afraid, I am a Soviet citizen like you, who has descended from space — and I must find a telephone to call Moscow!” Beetle, unfortunately, will receive no heroic welcome, just an all-American suspicious invocation of property rights.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/19/25

I do enjoy the different facial expressions on the sheriff and the judge in the final panel. The judge, who still believes that he’s operating within an impartial system of justice, an objective institution that stands above petty squabbles, looks put out by Snuffy’s jibe. But Sheriff Tait, who holds elected office — indeed, as far as we know he’s the only elected official the residents of Hootin’ Holler ever interact with — he gives our boy Snuffy a sly smile. He knows what Snuffy’s talking about! He knows all too well!

Mary Worth, 10/19/25

Hey, do you ever worry about our direction as a country, and, frankly, as a species? Well, have faith: in New York City, there’s a thirteen-year-old who can sort of see the future and talk to dogs with her mind, in very specific circumstances. I think we can all agree that she’s the answer to all our problems. Nothing more to worry about, let’s move on to the next story and find out what’s up with [spins giant wheel] Tommy, like is he on drugs again or what.