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I wrote a novel called The Enthusiast, and you can buy it! If you like this blog, I think you’ll dig it. Check out the first chapter, then buy:

• The hardcover or softcover edition for $25 or $15
• The ebook edition for $8, which includes files for all devices
• And if the mood strikes, you can put some money in my tip jar

This is probably the last day you can order it and be sure it’ll arrive in time for Christmas, so get those orders in soon. Thank you very much!

Momma, 12/18/15

I love that Momma is getting eye-poppingly furious about Francis’s inadequacies while she’s reading the newspaper, which is presumably full of material not all related to her youngest son’s employment or marital status. I’m genuinely curious as to what triggered this episode. “Terrorists … murderers … corrupt politicians … and almost all of them have jobs and families! How dare Francis do this to me? How dare he?”

Crankshaft, 12/18/15

Did you want to spend the weekend thinking about Crankshaft’s painfully swollen anus? Well, too bad, because now you’re going to anyway!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/18/15

Mary Beth is sad that her little brother is already absorbing and conforming to the particularly toxic construct of masculinity that prevails in Hootin’ Holler.

Six Chix, 12/18/15

Hmm, how can we reboot the Santa mythos to make it more in tune with today’s audiences? Add an elf who gets the job done by just straight-up murdering people? OK!

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The Phantom, 12/5/15

Aw, a flashback to young Phantom romance! You know, I always thought for some reason that Diana was supposed to be American, but apparently she grew up in Bangalla? In some suburban colonial enclave? Where our hero, who we’ve seen in previous flashbacks as wearing the finest in junglewear loincloths, just sort of wanders around half-naked? “Good-bye little boy! I wonder where he came from, and why the guards didn’t keep him out?”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/5/15

Loweezy’s analysis of her predicament shows that she’s quite familiar with the germ theory of disease. Thus, I can only interpret her decision to shove her snot-ridden handkerchief directly under Elviney’s nose as one of pure spite. If she’s sick, then everyone’s going to be sick, by God.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/3/15

If you really want a glimpse into just how desperately poor Hootin’ Holler is, imagine a child lying in the dark with a pillow over his head, barely able to breathe, desperately trying to fall asleep so that a mysterious magical creature will come and wrench one of his teeth out of his head, leaving a few coins behind in return.

Gasoline Alley, 12/3/15

Gasoline Alley: still going on about scrapbooking, I guess! Did you know that Thomas Jefferson kept a scrapbook, of important news items from his presidency? Some might be inclined to refer to this not as “scrapbooking” but rather as “keeping an archive of important historical documents,” but at least he did it himself, rather than let the American taxpayer foot the bill like these liberal spend-o-crats in office today! (Ugh, actually, he probably had his slaves do it, never mind.)