Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Beetle Bailey, 5/28/09

Beetle is obviously very shy about revealing the most intimate part of his anatomy: the top of his head.

Blondie, 5/28/09

Ha ha, Dagwood’s fellow carpooler is traumatized by his layoff and can’t think of anything to do with his life other than go through the motions of going to work! He’ll probably head down to his old office building and loiter around there for a while, then shoot himself in the parking lot just when everyone is walking out to their cars.

Mary Worth, 5/29/09

“Yes, Adrian deserves a good man … life has a strange way of working out … all’s well that ends well … love conquers all … look, Jeff, if you don’t stop going on and on about this twerp and his dead dad, I’m going to strangle you with this cravat, I swear to God.”

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Apartment 3-G, 5/13/09

Hey, Margo’s Mousy Assistant Whose Name I Cannot Be Bothered To Remember (from here on in to be referred to as MMAWNICBBTR): take a cue from your boss and finger-quote! It’ll save you time!

Beetle Bailey, 5/13/09

I was going to say that Beetle should be charging more for his escort services, but then I thought, what kind of added value does he really offer the customer, anyway?

Dick Tracy, 5/13/09

“We’ll see who’s about to die” ought to be Dick Tracy’s mission statement.

Momma, 5/13/09

“Also, we’ll all be dead soon enough, so it’s not really our problem!”

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Mary Worth, 5/8/09

Good lord, I don’t think I’ve ever seen any comics character as devastated, as gutted, as Adrian looks in panel two here, staring off into space, that half-eaten cupcake like ashes in her mouth. Then again, her father is nattering on about how they’re going to have dinner with Mary Worth next week and she’s going to offer her “perspective” and it’s going to be so awesome, the only legitimate response to which is a rapid descent into total despair.

Herb and Jamaal, 5/8/09

“You see … uh, Jamaal and I were … um … he wanted me to put my … uh … no, wait … I mean he asked me to do something that I’d wanted him to ask for so long … er … that is, when a man and another man love each other very much … look, it’s not cheating if it’s with another dude, OK?”

Beetle Bailey, 5/8/09

If you think Plato looks intrigued now, wait until Beetle explains the concept of a “safe word.”