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Gil Thorp, 10/11/17

One thing I appreciate about Gil Thorp is that it’s a strip about teenagers that goes to certain lengths to keep up with the cultural touchstones its teen characters would relate to, but not great lengths, if you follow me. It’s that kind of attitude that produces strips like today’s, in which someone bothered to figure out that golden-voiced Rick Soto would serenade his friends with a song from popular singer Ed Sheeran, but didn’t bother to determine what specific song that might be.

Blondie, 10/11/17

Meanwhile, nobody involved in the production of Blondie has any idea what an “app” is or how a person would go about buying one.

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The Phantom, 10/8/17

Oh, hey, look, it’s a new Sunday Phantom storyline, after I failed to update you on the old one! And hey, I also forgot to mention that Jeff Wiegel took over the art on the Sunday Phantoms from Terry Beatty a few months back! I really like the details on this strip, but I’m afraid that Wiegel got so enthusiastic in panel three that he’s undermining the story a little bit: that tray features some nice-looking rigatoni in red sauce, healthy-looking yellow corn, and mashed potatoes swimming in gravy! If that’s “prison slop,” sign me up! I promise not to rat out anybody!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/8/17

Oh, you can’t understand the mindset of someone who would do that? Take a look, lady:

CHECK OUT THIS STONE COLD BADASS

THIS SHAVED-HEADED GOATEED LAURENCE-FISHBURNE-SUNGLASSES-FROM-THE-MATRIX-WEARING MOFO

HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR “RULES” OR “LAWS” OR “OPINONS”

HE’S JUST GONNA FORGE SOME COMICS ART, GET SOME CASH, AND GET OUT

Blondie, 10/8/17

If you’ve ever wondered about the evolutionary sequence of the Bumstead lineage, what with Dagwood and Alexander sharing many of the same unusual features, today’s strip offers some crucial insight: Alexander is almost exactly like Dagwood, except he likes to fuck.

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Hi and Lois, 9/29/17

I actually find the art in today’s second Hi and Lois panel perfect and exquisite. What could be a harsher contrast to the noble, silent, straight-trunked tree that’s been growing industriously in the yard for the past 16 years? Why, the average American teen: hunched over, shirt slovenly and wrinkled, hat turned to the side for no earthly reason, a long line of slobber dribbling down from his slack-jawed face as he gulps milk right from the carton in front of the fridge. It makes one question where we went wrong as a people, and also makes one look back approximately 1.6 billion years, when the plant and animal lineages diverged, to find the answer.

Blondie, 9/29/17

Ha ha, it’s funny because Blondie has a demanding full-time job, and yet is also expected to perform all the traditionally feminine domestic and emotional labor required to maintain a household!

Judge Parker, 9/29/17

CHANGE DOT ORG PETITION FOR JUDGE PARKER TO FOCUS ENTIRELY ON APRIL AND HER ANTI-CIA WOMEN’S PRISON GANG FROM HERE ON IN