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Archive: Blondie

131

Workshopping terms for friends of Elmo. “Frelmos?”

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Blondie, 7/4/26

On this, America’s most sacred fireworks-related holiday, not one but two comics did “people making fireworks noises with their mouths in lieu of setting off actual fireworks” jokes. One of them was Crock, which I’m not even going to bother inflicting on you; I kind of enjoy this one because it ends with at least the hint that Elmo and his little friend are going to come back with actual fireworks that they’re going to set off in the Bumsteads’ living room.

Beetle Bailey, 7/4/26

At least Beetle Bailey, the strip about America’s military, takes a properly patriotic tone! Oh, wait, what’s that you say? They actually did a joke about the grim reality of the physical abuse of low-ranking enlisted men by their superiors? Hmm. Hmm!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/4/26

Rex Morgan, M.D., meanwhile, doesn’t have time to celebrate. It’s focusing its patriotism on improving America by targeting and revealing the scammers that bedevil us all. Or the one scammer who’s doing that, anyway. A lot of commenters were like “These ladies are somehow going to end up both being Rene Belluso,” and I was like “Ha ha, very funny, but that can’t be right,” and they’re not, but they almost certainly are his nieces, given that we learned a couple years ago that Jimmy was Rene’s actual name. Anyway, I gotta say that “pretending to play your violin so people give you spare change” is not anywhere near as impressive as “running a scam self-help cult that ends up actually helping people” but you gotta start somewhere, I guess!

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“Rigor Mortis Theater” is clearly a reliable source

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Curtis, 6/20/26

As a longtime Wikipedia editor and aficionado of Wikipedia silliness, I enjoy it when I stumble upon evidence of a vicious long-ago battle between two editors on the wording of some article. For instance, when some fairly anodyne assertion has a ludicrous number of citations given to support it, that usually means that some editor who wanted that sentence in the article when someone else didn’t went nuclear to justify its inclusion. I bring this up because the article for Spielberg’s War of the Worlds calls it a “science-fiction action thriller film,” and supports that genre description with a footnote that contains seven subordinate footnotes backing it up. But is it a horror movie, maybe? The nationally syndicated newspaper comic strip Curtis calls it a “horror remake.” Maybe it’s time to open this discussion again. See ya out there in the marketplace of ideas!

Dennis the Menace, 6/20/26

I guess Henry is supposed to be sweaty and exhausted, but it really looks to me like he’s crying, possibly because it also really does not look to me that the Mitchells are in Disneyland, the actually trademarked happiest place on Earth. They lied to him and told him this obviously non-branded amusement park was Disneyland, but he can’t handle the deception anymore! He’s weeping because of the web of lies he’s spun for his only son!

Blondie, 6/20/26

Please, Elmo, ever since the Supreme Court’s decision in Learning Resources, Inc. v. Trump, nobody cares about tariffs anymore. “Lemonade prices are spiking because so much of this year’s lemon crop has been unable to get through the Strait of Hormuz” is the new hotness!

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Thursday dining

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Blondie, 6/18/26

When Blondie started a business, back in 1991, it might’ve presented the strip with an opportunity to step beyond the tired food-mania cliches it had been orbiting around for decades. Unfortunately the business she started was a catering company, and most of the jokes it generated are about various customers coming in and making terrible food puns based on whatever their forced-zany shtick is. Anyway, today’s strip is notably sad because I’m reasonably sure Blondie’s “Do you happen to be marketing executives?” line is meant to be complimentary.

Six Chix, 6/18/26

The “mainstream media” won’t cover it, but the giant bug-things are coming and they will kill us all if we don’t prepare for all-out war against them. The gang at Six Chix has been trying to raise the alarm, and I just hope it’s not too late!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/18/26

“It’s sure better than the piece of shit cafe where I work. The food there’s barely edible. You can put that in your report if you want!”