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Judge Parker, 11/22/25

A few months ago Sophie and Reena experienced a certain amount of panic and anxiety in the wake of witnessing an April-involved spy encounter that turned violent, but eventually things settled down and they went back to what they had moved to Norway for in the first place: working ill-defined jobs for Sophie’s boyfriend’s wealthy family’s charitable foundation, which, as the setup for all this suggests but does not adequately explain, is based in Norway for some reason, where Sophie’s boyfriend and/or his family do not live. Reena has started dating some guy and Sophie has stopped leaving the house, but now, just to feel something and also because as a character in a supposed soap opera comic strip she feels a certain obligation, Reena is attempting to stir up drama by setting Sophie up with a handsome (?) Norwegian in a cat burglar outfit. Would this cause trouble with Sophie’s boyfriend, who, as mentioned, is more or less their employer? Probably! But quite frankly we deserve some not-well-thought-through action in this strip for once. It will beat all the moping!

Blondie, 11/22/25

Dagwood Bumstead is a man who never met a disgusting novelty foodstuff he didn’t like, so clearly his little temper tantrum isn’t because his daughter is promoting the vile turducken over the noble turkey. No, I assume that, while he knows he can’t show it in front of his family, he’s absolutely devastated that he toils away at DithersCo while his daughter has stumbled into his dream job of doing front-facing camera short-form videos about weird food stuff. “It should’ve been me,” he thinks. “She doesn’t even like giant sandwiches. It should’ve been me.”

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The Phantom, 11/7/25

The Jungle Patrol, like most military and paramilitary outfits, is mostly composed of young people, but the nature of those young people of course changes as we drift through comic book time. Back in the ’00s, their recruits were mostly spunky, idealistic millennial lady cops and waitresses. But today, the zoomer junior officers of the Patrol have no experience talking on the phone and cannot overcome their social anxiety enough to build professional rapport with their Unknown Commander. Sad!

Blondie, 11/7/25

Kudos to the local news for not actually showing the grotesque imagery of magnified fast food and instead merely playing audio of the scientists’ horrified reaction. With Dagwood in town, they clearly know that they need to tread carefully when it comes to food-related news. On the other hand, the news team apparently lacks advanced studio equipment like “teleprompters,” forcing their anchors to simply read the news off a visible piece of paper, so it may be that they simply did not have the capacity to transmit other video content to their viewers.

Mary Worth, 11/7/25

Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on what’s been happening in Mary Worth, so I’ll recap: Toby met a parrot and then spent 72 hours trying to think of a name for it. This is the best she could come up with.

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Blondie, 11/1/25

The thing about Dagwood is that he’s a dullard. He’s not stupid, though he’s also clearly not a genius, but mostly he just lacks any kind of imagination, which is driven home by the fact that we get to see his reveries and learn that they’re just the most on-the-nose stuff imaginable. “Wow, chefs racing through kitchens on zip lines? I think that would go … a little … like this!” [imagines a bunch of chefs racing through a kitchen on a zip line, adding zero additional information or details]

Gil Thorp, 11/1/25

The current Gil Thorp storyline is a flashback to the ’80s, when Milford dabbled in having a girls’ football team, with Emily “Mimi” Clover, the future Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp and subsequent Coach Ex-Mrs. Coach Thorp, being one of the students most excited about the prospect, and Coach Gil Thorp being the team’s … coach? A student coach, maybe? I hope??? Because he married Mimi later????? Anyway, we learned earlier that the whole scenario ended badly for unspecified reasons, which is why Mimi doesn’t like to talk about it, but I think after today’s panel three we’re going to learn that the school district shut the team down because it was getting “too sexy.”