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Blondie, 3/15/25

You gotta imagine that, when you’re talking to Dagwood Bumstead, there’s always a danger that he’s going to stare off into the distance, licking his lips, as he descends into a food-driven fugue state. It’s probably pretty off-putting and it’s honestly surprising that more people don’t just avoid him. Certainly his mailman has no real professional obligation to interact with him as much as he does!

Daddy Daze, 3/15/25

The central mystery of Daddy Daze is, I suppose, whether the Daddy Daze baby actually communicates with the Daddy Daze daddy in an elaborate language of “ba”s that the Daddy Daze daddy can understand, or if literally every strip we see is just the Daddy Daze daddy doing an elaborate series of bits with a baby who is too young to consent to participate in them. But the secondary mystery is undoubtedly “Why are the “Daddy Daze daddy and the infrequently seen Daddy Daze mommy no longer together, despite the fact that they had a baby together quite recently?” Today, the answer is clearly that, whether the baby is a willing participant or not, a life with the Daddy Daze daddy is obviously a life spent subject to endless bits, and such a life is to be avoided at all costs.

Judge Parker, 3/15/25

Aw, isn’t that nice? Randy is sad about his sister going to prison, so his trained CIA assassin wife is helping him cope by cutting off his oxygen supply, sending him off to a peaceful sleep, possibly forever.

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Six Chix, 3/14/25

Happy Pi Day, everybody! Today, 3/14, is used as a tongue-in-cheek opportunity to celebrate pi, the mathematical constant that is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter and that is approximately 3.14 (though as an irrational number its digits continue on infinitely and unpredictably). Let’s celebrate by enjoying this cartoon, which features a lady baking a pie and also the world being destroyed by various means (nuclear explosion, alien attack, fires, bees, and so forth). It’s perfect! 100% great. No notes on this one.

Blondie, 3/14/25

Dagwood, if your boss is walking around the office on the Ides of March raving about being Julius Caesar and you didn’t organize a group of subordinates to stab him to death, you have failed as a man and an employee. He’s basically begging to be stabbed! Put him out of his misery, for Pete’s sake!

Gil Thorp, 3/14/25

Rodney Barnes is a great player but his previous attempts to get recruited to the next level didn’t pan out, and now we know why: he loudly yells every move he makes before he makes it. “SWIPE!” “PASS!” Can you imagine a big-time D1 or NBA player shouting this stuff on the court? Embarrassing.

Mary Worth, 3/14/25

If Wilbur has no idea whether or not Belle has kids, that means Belle DEFINITELY has never heard of Dawn. And you know what? Good for her.

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Mary Worth, 3/9/25

“The past only exists by how you remember it,” Mary long ago told an emotionally scarred young woman, haunted by the man who stood her up at the altar. “Keep only good memories from past relationships, and forget the rest!” says Wilbur, urging his daughter to join him in the comfortable and false world he inhabits. Ah, but Stanislaw Jerzy Lec reminds us that “You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories,” which to me implies that the power of true memory overcomes any attempt we might make at self-delusion. That long trail of romantic failure each of you has behind you will always be there, burned into your memory, and you cannot shake it. Now, the Westons may whine that this is unfair, and ask why this Lec guy thought he was so smart. It turns out he has a pretty incredible biography with a lot of ups and downs, ranging from the time he wrote the first poem in the Polish language praising Stalin to the time he escaped from a Nazi concentration camp by killing a guard with the shovel he was supposed to be digging his own grave with. And what have the two of you ever done? Dropped a bowling ball on a guy’s foot? Had a funeral for a fish? Pathetic. Rethink your lives.

Blondie, 3/9/25

I assume this fantastic (?) joke (???) simply only would’ve worked in the multipanel Sunday format, but it honestly really bothers me that Blondie did an office-based gag on a weekend. After all, if this strip does a joke about National Dentists’ Day, you can be sure it runs on National Dentists’ Day. I refuse to suspend my disbelief and pretend to think we’re seeing action that’s actually happening on a Tuesday, or, worse, that the naturally lazy Dagwood went into work on Sunday when he should napping on the couch with his knees bent up all uncomfortably like God intended.