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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/15/12

Snuffy Smith has unleashed its most frankly political strip yet! The throwaway panels call for increased taxation on job-creating flatlanders, whereas the main panels imply that hiding income from Big Government is the moral equivalent of hiding income from your own family. You can tell that this blatant leftist propaganda is in violation of the true spirit of this feature, as Lukey refers to the Internal Revenue Service by its fancy initials, rather than simply using the culturally appropriate term “revenooers.”

Crankshaft, 4/15/12

Instead of trying to divide us with radical politics, Crankshaft brings us together. See, Crankshaft has made a little girl cry, and thus can serve as an object of hatred and contempt for all Americans.

Panels from Judge Parker, 4/15/12

Feel free to speculate wildly about what perverse sex act “giv[ing] Derek the guitar” is meant to denote.

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Mark Trail, 4/6/12

Obviously the idea of a Mark Trail storyline about marijuana sets the bar for hilarity very high, but I have to say that we haven’t been disappointed so far! I absolutely love the fact that this forest ranger has to stare at the pot plants for a while before he can remember what they are. I’m not a botanist or a stoner, but aren’t marijuana plants pretty distinctive-looking, especially to a trained naturalist type? I mean, I guess he’s trying to identify a plant growing in the underbrush from an aerial photo, which is pretty impressive. Anyway, even better is his outraged declaration in panel three. “Someone is growing marijuana on government property! Nobody gets away with that unless Uncle Sam gets a taste!”

Crankshaft, 4/6/12

It’s really sad to me that Crankshaft seems to regard a little light garden paraphernalia hoarding as an impetus for sinister chuckling. It’s like he can’t enjoy life unless he at least pretends to himself that he’s being a dick.

Apartment 3-G, 4/6/12

Aaaand we’re back to the prego porn.

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Apartment 3-G, 3/20/12

Ah, spring is here — and while Margo thinks it will take a brainload of potent lady-hormones to light up pregnant-but-not-feeling-it Nina, poor naïve Tommie thinks sunshine and blue skies alone will do the trick. I can’t wait to hear Lu Ann weigh in with a prescription for moonbeam sandwiches and unicorn juice.

Curtis, 3/20/12

Say, when is Nina due, anyway — and how will her pregnancy play out in strip time? With multiple plotlines, Apartment 3-G can at least dip in and out of the Nina ‘n’ Scott story — Rex Morgan, M.D. would be all-Nina-all-the-time until delivery or catatonic ennui sets in, whichever comes first. Let’s just all be thankful this isn’t Judge Parker, where time moves so slowly that pregnancy is effectively permanent, or Funky Winkerbean, where it’s invariably fatal.

Wait, did you hear something? I think I drifted off there for a minute.

Crankshaft, 3/20/12

Alas, no hormone, season, or diet can bring relief to Pam and Jeff Murdoch. No sooner do they acquire another noisy trinket to distract themselves from the gaping hole in their lives than the ‘hole opens his damn mouth to ruin it all again.

Gasoline Alley, 3/20/12

Kindhearted nitwit Rufus celebrates the equinox watching nightmare TV while starving himself to feed his clowder of ingrate cats.

Crock, 3/20/12

But it could be worse — it could be Crock. You can carve that in stone.

Just watch your fingers.

— Uncle Lumpy