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Today is Mother’s Day across most of the world (British “Mum’s Day” is celebrated during Lent, in retribution for their cooking). Because of its ability to trigger a laugh riot of misunderstandings, dysfunction, and resentment, Mother’s Day is a huge deal in the comics, on a scale with Thanksgiving. Let’s see how some of our favorite families celebrate:

Edge City, 5/12/13

Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin demands smooth sheets and an unsullied mattress, even if it means forgoing all the messy pleasures that sustain bonds of love. Husband Len submissively abets her every whim. It’s a mystery how those children got here.

Zits, 5/12/13

Jeremy Zits-Duncan promises to give his mother the tolerance and respect she most desires, but fails utterly in the execution. SPANG!

Mary Worth, 5/12/13 (panel)

Beth Kinley celebrates her mother’s special day by ditching Elinor to enjoy some incompetent afterdinner macking on new beau Tom Harpman. Hey, Tom: Beth is a real girlfriend — quit trying to inflate her.

Lockhorns, 5/12/13 (panel)

Leroy cranks up the hypocrisy to give Loretta’s mom a proper greeting. Brrrrr…

Dennis the Menace, 5/12/13 (panel)

Henry and Dennis get it right … and so, as always, does Alice. But c’mon — Dondi was more menacing than this!

Funky Winkerbean, 5/12/13 (panel)

Darin and Jessica bring flowers to the grave of somebody named Lisa Moore whose ashes weren’t scattered in New York’s Central Park the way Darin’s mom’s were.

Crankshaft, 5/12/13

Jeff Murdoch congratulates himself for overspending at the Hallmark: “Surely now my mother will love me?” Ha ha, nope!

Happy Mother’s Day — give Mom a call!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Better Half, 5/1/13

Let’s check in with Stanley and Harriet, everybody’s favorite sad, disoriented comics couple! Today we learn the shocking truth: Are Stanley and Harriet sad and disoriented because they’re blotto on prescription meds, all the time? All the pill bottles stacked up on the kitchen counter imply that the answer is yes! Stanley peers through the pharmaceutical haze and remembers that there was a simpler, better time in his life when he didn’t feel this way, though his drug-addled brain can’t express this thought in any coherent way.

Shoe, 5/1/13

Biz, on the other hand, has chosen not to turn his golden years into a dim, druggy twilight. Though he suffers the aches and pains of old age, his mind and vision are clear, and he intends to confront death in his own way. (That way involves screaming in terror.)

Ziggy, 5/1/13

Is there significance to the fact that “Dr. Bobo” looks exactly like Ziggy? Or, for that matter, that the “real” doctor looks more or less like Ziggy as well? Is this all happening inside Ziggy’s sad, spherical noggin?

Dennis the Menace, 5/1/13

Sorry, Dennis, that’s not anywhere near cute enough to merit a post on Mom’s blog, and those Google AdSense payments are all that are standing between you and community college, so we’re going to stay here until you say something blogworthy if it takes all day, do you understand?

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Slylock Fox, 4/15/13

I’m sorry, Slylock, but your ratiocination has failed you today! Your logic has neglected to take into account the polysemous nature of the word “plant.” Shady Shrew wasn’t claiming to have grown silk on some fantastical tree or bush! No, he was using “plant” in the sense of a factory, and was referring to a vast, Dickensian structure in the gritty industrial port of Marseilles, where sentient silkworms are enslaved to help make the cheap shirts that retailers like Shady Shrew sell to sentient birds and beavers. Enjoy your nice blouses, ladies, you’ve got silkworm blood on your hands. [NOTE TO SELF: CHECK WIKIPEDIA BEFORE PUBLISHING THIS TO SEE IF SILKWORMS HAVE BLOOD]

Dennis the Menace, 4/15/13

Oh come on, Mr. Wilson, we all know the IRS doesn’t allow you to claim fractional dependents! Really, if you’re going to try to lay the groundwork for an insanity defense at your trial for Dennis’s gory dismemberment, you’re going to have to do better than that.

Book-o-tainment note: I have been on a Leave of Absence from Wonkette due to my need to finish writing my novel, but Wonkette writer (and Comics Curmudgeon reader) Dok Zoom has a review of the new Al Capp biography over there that might be of interest to you!